Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d love a hug when I get home from work. It’d just be nice to start to the evening. Currently, just the dogs come to say hello and if I try to hug her I’ll get an elbow.

The other thing is that if our son or I try to talk to her - please listen to what we’re saying instead of just cutting us off and mowing over us with a loud/aggressive/unpleasant opinion. It creates resentment from both of us.

I’m sure I’ve got some things to work on too.

Is it because she's moving around doing house or child care?

Yes, or work email/text, etc. I am too. Last night I got home and immediately started cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner and helping our teen with math homework. I get it - there’s lots to be done, but the 10 seconds it takes to hug someone won’t take the household schedule off track.

Please stop helping your teen with his or her homework!!

That homework is the teen's responsibility to handle--NOT the parents'.

Let your teen struggle through it and actually learn the material.

You won't be doing this in college, I hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it too much to ask that she maintain an even somewhat tidy back passage? Toilet paper is not "killing the earth."

No way??? Is it that bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it too much to ask that she maintain an even somewhat tidy back passage? Toilet paper is not "killing the earth."

No way??? Is it that bad?

Can you offer any advice? The stench, the smears, something needs to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it too much to ask that she maintain an even somewhat tidy back passage? Toilet paper is not "killing the earth."

I hope she stops that for health reasons, very unhealthy. Just ask F.F.

Also you don't own your wifes body, worry about your own back passage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d love a hug when I get home from work. It’d just be nice to start to the evening. Currently, just the dogs come to say hello and if I try to hug her I’ll get an elbow.

The other thing is that if our son or I try to talk to her - please listen to what we’re saying instead of just cutting us off and mowing over us with a loud/aggressive/unpleasant opinion. It creates resentment from both of us.

I’m sure I’ve got some things to work on too.

Is it because she's moving around doing house or child care?

Yes, or work email/text, etc. I am too. Last night I got home and immediately started cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner and helping our teen with math homework. I get it - there’s lots to be done, but the 10 seconds it takes to hug someone won’t take the household schedule off track.

Approaching me to GIVE you something--a hug--while I am busy doing something that benefits you/the household/your children shows that you don't notice or care what I'm doing. How about:


"Thank you for making dinner. Can I help with anything? When you're not busy, I'd love a hug."

Yeah, that’s the approach I usually take. She’ll get busy and forget. After about the 3rd time asking and 15 minutes or so it just feels like I’m begging and there’s stuff I can be doing for the household too.

it sounds like you're pretty perfect and your wife is awful so that's probably what it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d love a hug when I get home from work. It’d just be nice to start to the evening. Currently, just the dogs come to say hello and if I try to hug her I’ll get an elbow.

The other thing is that if our son or I try to talk to her - please listen to what we’re saying instead of just cutting us off and mowing over us with a loud/aggressive/unpleasant opinion. It creates resentment from both of us.

I’m sure I’ve got some things to work on too.

Is it because she's moving around doing house or child care?

Yes, or work email/text, etc. I am too. Last night I got home and immediately started cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner and helping our teen with math homework. I get it - there’s lots to be done, but the 10 seconds it takes to hug someone won’t take the household schedule off track.

Approaching me to GIVE you something--a hug--while I am busy doing something that benefits you/the household/your children shows that you don't notice or care what I'm doing. How about:


"Thank you for making dinner. Can I help with anything? When you're not busy, I'd love a hug."

Yeah, that’s the approach I usually take. She’ll get busy and forget. After about the 3rd time asking and 15 minutes or so it just feels like I’m begging and there’s stuff I can be doing for the household too.

it sounds like you're pretty perfect and your wife is awful so that's probably what it is

That’s what I thought too. Thanks for confirming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it too much to ask that she maintain an even somewhat tidy back passage? Toilet paper is not "killing the earth."

I hope she stops that for health reasons, very unhealthy. Just ask F.F.

Also you don't own your wifes body, worry about your own back passage.

The theory being espoused is that the "fudge" serves as a sort of natural, homeopathic antibiotic. I find this ridiculous. My back passage is as clean as a whistle, that's part of the disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it too much to ask that she maintain an even somewhat tidy back passage? Toilet paper is not "killing the earth."

I hope she stops that for health reasons, very unhealthy. Just ask F.F.

Also you don't own your wifes body, worry about your own back passage.

The theory being espoused is that the "fudge" serves as a sort of natural, homeopathic antibiotic. I find this ridiculous. My back passage is as clean as a whistle, that's part of the disappointment.

I have to agree with OP. No one should have to smell dookie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She never takes her clean clothes out of the dryer.

Does not rinse coffee or tea cups when done, so they get rings inside them.

Mine forgets to take them out of the washer, and thinks it's perfectly fine to let them moulder there for days.

Mine does that too -- and unlike me, she always has a bunch of stuff that is "do not put in dryer, lay flat to dry" so I have to sort through it. Not going to risk a huge guilt trip for accidentally shrinking a sweater or something, so I just put her wet stuff aside, run the other laundry through, then put her wet stuff back in the washer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She never takes her clean clothes out of the dryer.

Does not rinse coffee or tea cups when done, so they get rings inside them.

a tiny bit of baking soda with get rid of the ring. Put some on a sponge with soap and viola!

The point is not that it is an un-solvable problem, but that the problem can be avoided in the first place if she'd take 5 seconds to rinse out the cup when she's done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She never takes her clean clothes out of the dryer.

Does not rinse coffee or tea cups when done, so they get rings inside them.

Mine forgets to take them out of the washer, and thinks it's perfectly fine to let them moulder there for days.

There is only 1 person in the house that takes things out of the dishwasher?

In our house, load and unload the dishwasher is 95% me and 5% DW at most.

I do my laundry and the kids, she does hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That she wouldn't use our first moments together when kids are asleep to unload and emotionally vomit on me about her day, what went wrong, etc.

This is a common method of sex-avoidance. That or unleashing a whole list of boner-killing complaints about you.

Really? It seems like the opposite to me. I tell you my problems, the funny things that happened to me, then you tell me your thoughts and feelings and all of the things you did besides telling me how to unload the dishwasher and walking out halfway through putting a preschooler to bed. Then I feel close, remember I love you, and want to have sex.

My wife pretty much just goes with the problems. Not many funny things nor seemingly much interest in my thoughts, feelings, or things I did. Certainly no noticeable interest in sex.

[Anonymous]

Is it because she's moving around doing house or child care?

Yes, or work email/text, etc. I am too. Last night I got home and immediately started cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner and helping our teen with math homework. I get it - there’s lots to be done, but the 10 seconds it takes to hug someone won’t take the household schedule off track.

Approaching me to GIVE you something--a hug--while I am busy doing something that benefits you/the household/your children shows that you don't notice or care what I'm doing. How about:

"Thank you for making dinner. Can I help with anything? When you're not busy, I'd love a hug."

The day you have to ASK for a hug is the day your marriage is dead. You literally can’t put the dishes aside for TWO SECONDS to hug your spouse and show them the tiniest bit of affection? Jesus Christ.

Seriously expecting a hug every day upon entering the home is way over the top. Probably the busy time, how about letting the partner decide on when they want to give out the hugs, LOL. Little petty stuff, non-issues.

Uh, that's pretty cold. I mean, if you and your spouse are both low in physical affection needs, that's fine, but, for people for whom physical affection is a primary love language (which is a lot of, if not most, men), just refusing to stop for a minute to acknowledge your spouse like this is like starving your relationship of air. I mean, there are times that it might be impractical to drop everything at that very moment (but, still come back within 5 or 10 minutes), but if you can't stop and greet your life partner with a quick hug, you're too busy or have misplaced priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it too much to ask that she maintain an even somewhat tidy back passage? Toilet paper is not "killing the earth."

I hope she stops that for health reasons, very unhealthy. Just ask F.F.

Also you don't own your wifes body, worry about your own back passage.

The theory being espoused is that the "fudge" serves as a sort of natural, homeopathic antibiotic. I find this ridiculous. My back passage is as clean as a whistle, that's part of the disappointment.

I have to agree with OP. No one should have to smell dookie.

I think she wipes pretty thoroughly, and I don't see any actual dookie, but when she gets on all fours for doggy, often as not there is a strong whiff of dookie that drifts up and really puts me off. Phew!

Some people assume a shower is adequate without realizing that areas requires active, vigorous scrubbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Is it because she's moving around doing house or child care?

Yes, or work email/text, etc. I am too. Last night I got home and immediately started cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner and helping our teen with math homework. I get it - there’s lots to be done, but the 10 seconds it takes to hug someone won’t take the household schedule off track.

Geez, you're so busy leaping to defend and rationalize female behavior, you don't even pay attention to what he said.

If "she's moving around doing house or child care" she can stop for 10 seconds to give him a hug, fer chrissake.