The realities of being lower middle class

[Anonymous]

Yeah, Katie Ledecky didn't go to public school. Not sure what PP was smoking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should compete for that student, who will want for nothing in life by virtue of being rich and talented, by offering a truly exceptional school experience, not by taking money away from kids who need it. I hope my kids' school doesn't want a family that is that wealthy but not willing willing to pay tuition because they think their kid is so great she should go to the highest bidder. Not great values.

No one said that the family was seeking this. But if they had acceptances at three equivalent schools and one school really wanted the student and offered a free ride, then it’s a win-win for both student and school to accept the offer. Happy wealthy parents potentially mean large donations to the school, so it’s hard to see a loser in this scenario.

+1

The best academic students, athletes, musicians and artists will bring a lot of attention to the school. For example, I think everyone knows where Katie Ledecky went to high school. She attended public school [i][u]but I am sure had she wanted to go to Sidwell, it would have been free for her.

The publicity/exposure for the school is worth more than 4 years of tuition.

That is a really shallow way to look at education. No one thinks the superstar is super because of their high school. Still, if the parents are going to donate a ton anyway, then why not give the financial aid to a student who needs financial aid? And you don't see the loser in this situation because the "loser" had to turn down the offer of admission because they didn't get enough financial aid to attend. It happens every year.

BTW since you got KL's school wrong, you kind of disprove your point.

Katie went to Stone Ridge!

[Anonymous]

Your scenario is most two parent Fed employee families who bought a home in the District after 1999/2000 and have a high mortgage compared to elsewhere in the country. You are in a bind because trade off is if your DC doesn't get into private, you move to NOVA or MOCO where DC will be in free, but over crowded and less diverse NOVA/MOCO Publics that teach to the test and a 2 hour commute to work each day ( no family life ) , correct ?

Charter schools not getting traction and and you are not liking Wilson or Walls as your only options down the line.

Advice is apply to the schools with deepest endowments , volunteer your ass off , have a nice kid and roll the dice.

Good luck sincerely. I am sure your DC is adorable, sweet and smart , but if they don't get in don't let the gut punch stick for too long.

Private schools today have their own self inflicted problems and you might find the challenges of Public school less frustrating in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the previous poster. Also not all private high schools are about grades and scores. There are excellent private schools that look at other indicia - like outside interests, summer acitivities etc - that may show a child’s motivation, independence and over all social competence.

Bottom line is that there are so many instructive data points and grades and scores are merely part of the big picture.

Beyond that, the public schools in this area are fantastic. If money is the issue you say it is, make the most of the public option and save for college when there is no public option. Set expectations for your child so that he understands that high school students can chart their own course and that transitions are uncomfortable.

Perhaps your current school can help you?

Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the public schools in this area are fantastic

Maybe they were uniformly fantastic when we were growing up, but if you read the public school forum, things have apparently changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FA isn’t just about SES. I’ve literally been told by a school - in writing no less - that their FA was intended to diversify the school, which we don’t do. Admitted, yes. Being white meant no FA.

Interesting. I wonder if it’s DC’s school. We got a minuscule amount of FA for one DC who looks like a minority (biracial family) but none for DC who looks completely white. Seems like it’s all about optics.

OP, we are in the donut hole of not really qualifying for FA (HHI $200k) but are making it work because our local public was not. I would prefer not to spend the $$$$ but it’s either this or move, and moving would be a last resort.

the bolded is BS. i know white families who get FA. there is a lot of demand for these private schools, i know plenty of families - white and black - who are full pay who didn't get into all the schools they applied to.

[Anonymous]

I am sure that they aren’t “uniformly” fantastic. But our neighborhood school seems to churn out driven, smart, curious and well-adjusted kids. A few have graduated DCPS and gone on to excellent schools - Duke, Northwestern, Stanford, Hopkins etc. They also don’t seem to carry the academic or social stress that some in privates have.

[Anonymous]

Except that the measure of a fantastic school system isn't about what they can do with the academic superstars, but rather everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like unless you are destitute or rich, you aren’t getting your kid into private school unless s/ he is utterly amazing, right? My DD was a strong candidate but I’m sure there were better. And I think our SES worked against us. This happens to us everywhere. Had to pull out from rec soccer because we can’t afford it but don’t qualify on paper for any financial aid. Yet some months I have to severely limit
Grocery shopping and can barely make bills. There’s no way to get ahead for the middle class.

Maybe your "strong candidate" DD will do well in a public school. Maybe she is so awesome that she will be fine in almost any school, public or private. I know my kids will be fine in almost anywhere. They are in DCPS right now and very happy. They will see the private school kids in college and all is well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FA isn’t just about SES. I’ve literally been told by a school - in writing no less - that their FA was intended to diversify the school, which we don’t do. Admitted, yes. Being white meant no FA.

Interesting. I wonder if it’s DC’s school. We got a minuscule amount of FA for one DC who looks like a minority (biracial family) but none for DC who looks completely white. Seems like it’s all about optics.

OP, we are in the donut hole of not really qualifying for FA (HHI $200k) but are making it work because our local public was not. I would prefer not to spend the $$$$ but it’s either this or move, and moving would be a last resort.

the bolded is BS. i know white families who get FA. there is a lot of demand for these private schools, i know plenty of families - white and black - who are full pay who didn't get into all the schools they applied to.

The schools make their own decisions on how to award FA. Seems likely that some are using it to ensure they have diversity. I’m just surprised they said it so openly.

[Anonymous]

If you were actually LMC, you'd be in great shape when you apply to college because you'd get generous financial aid from some of the best schools.

Now, if you are actually UMC (and just calling yourself LMC), you'd be in trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two thirds of Harvard freshme n come from public schools.

If you want better public schools than the ones in your neighborhood, you can downsize to a condo, take a job that offers housing in a different neighborhood ( building superintendents can do this), move to DC and lottery for a charter, go for test -in programs in Montgomery and Fairfax, or move to a cheaper area. None of these are simple solutions, but everything comes with a cost.

A good portion of that 2/3rs come from public magnet schools like Stuyvesant, Hunter, Bronx Science, Thomas Jefferson, etc. And also super-powered publics like Gunn in Palo Alto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

Well, my personally opinion about private schools such as big 3 or those that cost over 43K/yr look for:

- full pay students

- some slots for students with exceptional academic but can't pay full. They will get FA depend on HHI. Low income family will get full FA

- some slots for recruited athletes. Some might qualify for FA. Those that are low income will get full FA.

- a few slots for exceptional athletes or extremely talented musicians, those students that the school really wants. They don't have to pay anything even when the family can easily afford the tuition. Those students bring exposure to the schools and bragging rights.

My nephews, an exceptional athlete and violinist, attended one of the big 3s for free even when my brother HHI is 1.5M/yr. Go figure.

If this is true, I'd be extremely upset and would no longer make donations to the scholarship fund. Anyone with a HHI of that much should be embarrassed to take FA away from the type of student it was designed to serve.

I don't think it's true. The big schools don't need students that badly that they offer full ride to a talented violinist or an exceptional athlete if the family can easily afford the tuition. It makes not one iota of a difference to Sidwell's reputation or NCS's reputation or Potomac's reputation if there's a talented violinist in the student body or that exceptional athlete is on the sports team.

And it'd be pretty easy to figure out who this family is, if it's a true story. One brother an exceptional athlete and the other brother an exceptional violinist? They tend not to go hand in hand. And parents with 1.5MM household income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, I don't get it. How are you going to afford the basics or even a portion if you cannot even afford soccer? You still have a lot of expenses with private school even if you get 90% financial aid. You're living above your means and need to reduce in other areas and wait till you can at least afford $5-10K a year.

+1

I understand trying to give your kid a better education, but you sometimes have to accept that some things are just out of reach and not practical.

Northern VA (Fairfax, Loudon, parts of Prince William) has quite good schools. Not sure why so many people are obsessed with privates around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's true. The big schools don't need students that badly that they offer full ride to a talented violinist or an exceptional athlete if the family can easily afford the tuition. It makes not one iota of a difference to Sidwell's reputation or NCS's reputation or Potomac's reputation if there's a talented violinist in the student body or that exceptional athlete is on the sports team.

And it'd be pretty easy to figure out who this family is, if it's a true story. One brother an exceptional athlete and the other brother an exceptional violinist? They tend not to go hand in hand. And parents with 1.5MM household income.

I guess you're entitled to your own opinion. Having a talented athlete, musician or gifted student will increase the profile of the school. The first thing I hear when people mention the name Kevin Hogan, the football quarterback, is that he graduated from Gonzaga High School. Mike Glennon's name will always be associated with Westfield High School.