The realities of being lower middle class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like unless you are destitute or rich, you aren’t getting your kid into private school unless s/ he is utterly amazing, right? My DD was a strong candidate but I’m sure there were better. And I think our SES worked against us. This happens to us everywhere. Had to pull out from rec soccer because we can’t afford it but don’t qualify on paper for any financial aid. Yet some months I have to severely limit
Grocery shopping and can barely make bills. There’s no way to get ahead for the middle class.

If you are having trouble buying food and paying bills, how will you afford tuition? Even with financial aid you will have to pay some tuition!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lower middle class? You can't do private for under $300k HHI, and $150-299k is hardly "lower middle class".

Come on now! It’s doable with under $300k if you choose the parochial/independent schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

OP here. Sorry to hear that. That really sucks. Hoped they were at least giving it to low SES applicants. So they really just aren’t giving it away at all. I guess the reality is we just weren’t strong enough. But it always feels like there would be more opportunities if we had more money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

OP here. Sorry to hear that. That really sucks. Hoped they were at least giving it to low SES applicants. So they really just aren’t giving it away at all. I guess the reality is we just weren’t strong enough. But it always feels like there would be more opportunities if we had more money.

Sorry to break it to you, but that’s life. Everyone will have more opportunities if they have more money. Houses, cars, food, vacations, clothes, entertainment. You want more choices/opportunities to purchase those items? You need more money.

I’m sure your kid is a great kid and will have a bright future but be objective for a second. Is your kid really that much more special than all the other amazing kids out there to justify giving her a full ride scholarship that she will probably need for 13 years? I’m going to say no (and before you get all bent out of shape, I would say the same about my own really great kids).

Private schools are a luxury item. Move to a good enough school and encourage learning at home too. She’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

nobody needs the DC privates except rich people looking for a way to hide the fact that their children are idiots. in washington dc, we are blessed with many very high quality public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:nobody needs the DC privates except rich people looking for a way to hide the fact that their children are idiots. in washington dc, we are blessed with many very high quality public schools.

+1

[Anonymous]

I know this is coming out harshly but op you sound really entitled. Private school is not a right for any of us, and is not a privilege for most of us. You aren’t being discriminated against here. Like a pp said, your kid is going to have a bright future ahead of her/him because you clearly care a lot about education and will do your best to supplement where you see gaps.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you might be in the donut so to speak. It is about fit. Apply for financial aid, see if you have a grandparent who can help out. But the fact is, it may come down to the package you get. All this said, if you want your child to get into a good college, concentrate on having them access all the good things your local public school has to offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like unless you are destitute or rich, you aren’t getting your kid into private school unless s/ he is utterly amazing, right? My DD was a strong candidate but I’m sure there were better. And I think our SES worked against us. This happens to us everywhere. Had to pull out from rec soccer because we can’t afford it but don’t qualify on paper for any financial aid. Yet some months I have to severely limit
Grocery shopping and can barely make bills. There’s no way to get ahead for the middle class.

If you don’t qualify “on paper “ for financial aid, you are not lower middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like unless you are destitute or rich, you aren’t getting your kid into private school unless s/ he is utterly amazing, right? My DD was a strong candidate but I’m sure there were better. And I think our SES worked against us. This happens to us everywhere. Had to pull out from rec soccer because we can’t afford it but don’t qualify on paper for any financial aid. Yet some months I have to severely limit
Grocery shopping and can barely make bills. There’s no way to get ahead for the middle class.

If you don’t qualify “on paper “ for financial aid, you are not lower middle class.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

Well, my personally opinion about private schools such as big 3 or those that cost over 43K/yr look for:

- full pay students

- some slots for students with exceptional academic but can't pay full. They will get FA depend on HHI. Low income family will get full FA

- some slots for recruited athletes. Some might qualify for FA. Those that are low income will get full FA.

- a few slots for exceptional athletes or extremely talented musicians, those students that the school really wants. They don't have to pay anything even when the family can easily afford the tuition. Those students bring exposure to the schools and bragging rights.

My nephews, an exceptional athlete and violinist, attended one of the big 3s for free even when my brother HHI is 1.5M/yr. Go figure.

[Anonymous]

Hmm.

Reading your post, OP, I get the feeling that you feel entitled to those things, because others who have less than you have received help and not you.

This is what being in the middle class has meant for years - perhaps since the middle class emerged during the Industrial Revolution.

The poor suffer greatly and with the increasing wealth of nations, have received more help than before. Thank goodness, because they were dying like flies some two hundred years ago.

The middle class is the backbone of the global economy and always pays the lion's share of all dues, relative to what they can afford. The rich find loopholes, tax havens, etc and end up paying less compared to what they have.

Congratulations. You are the backbone.

[Anonymous]

FA isn’t just about SES. I’ve literally been told by a school - in writing no less - that their FA was intended to diversify the school, which we don’t do. Admitted, yes. Being white meant no FA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like unless you are destitute or rich, you aren’t getting your kid into private school unless s/ he is utterly amazing, right? My DD was a strong candidate but I’m sure there were better. And I think our SES worked against us. This happens to us everywhere. Had to pull out from rec soccer because we can’t afford it but don’t qualify on paper for any financial aid. Yet some months I have to severely limit
Grocery shopping and can barely make bills. There’s no way to get ahead for the middle class.

Are there other cities or states you can move to to upgrade your quality of life and continue in one or both of your careers? I'd focus on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for financial aid if a student is not a straight A and did not have 90 percentile on the entrance exams puts the student at odds for admission.

Meeting get that now. But thought some schools might be interested in more than just grades. It’s on us. We were stupid.

Has your DD already received rejections? Because most schools don't announce for a couple of weeks yet. I am not getting this.