The realities of being lower middle class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we are blessed with many very high quality public schools.

What are the specific "very high quality public schools" that a lower middle class family can access?

[Anonymous]

I grew up pretty poor. A lot of Americans do. Not everyone can afford everything. I have never owned a car. I can't afford it.

[Anonymous]

Two thirds of Harvard freshme n come from public schools.

If you want better public schools than the ones in your neighborhood, you can downsize to a condo, take a job that offers housing in a different neighborhood ( building superintendents can do this), move to DC and lottery for a charter, go for test -in programs in Montgomery and Fairfax, or move to a cheaper area. None of these are simple solutions, but everything comes with a cost.

[Anonymous]

OK, I don't get it. How are you going to afford the basics or even a portion if you cannot even afford soccer? You still have a lot of expenses with private school even if you get 90% financial aid. You're living above your means and need to reduce in other areas and wait till you can at least afford $5-10K a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FA isn’t just about SES. I’ve literally been told by a school - in writing no less - that their FA was intended to diversify the school, which we don’t do. Admitted, yes. Being white meant no FA.

Interesting. I wonder if it’s DC’s school. We got a minuscule amount of FA for one DC who looks like a minority (biracial family) but none for DC who looks completely white. Seems like it’s all about optics.

OP, we are in the donut hole of not really qualifying for FA (HHI $200k) but are making it work because our local public was not. I would prefer not to spend the $$$$ but it’s either this or move, and moving would be a last resort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

Well, my personally opinion about private schools such as big 3 or those that cost over 43K/yr look for:

- full pay students

- some slots for students with exceptional academic but can't pay full. They will get FA depend on HHI. Low income family will get full FA

- some slots for recruited athletes. Some might qualify for FA. Those that are low income will get full FA.

- a few slots for exceptional athletes or extremely talented musicians, those students that the school really wants. They don't have to pay anything even when the family can easily afford the tuition. Those students bring exposure to the schools and bragging rights.

My nephews, an exceptional athlete and violinist, attended one of the big 3s for free even when my brother HHI is 1.5M/yr. Go figure.

If this is true, I'd be extremely upset and would no longer make donations to the scholarship fund. Anyone with a HHI of that much should be embarrassed to take FA away from the type of student it was designed to serve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

Well, my personally opinion about private schools such as big 3 or those that cost over 43K/yr look for:

- full pay students

- some slots for students with exceptional academic but can't pay full. They will get FA depend on HHI. Low income family will get full FA

- some slots for recruited athletes. Some might qualify for FA. Those that are low income will get full FA.

- a few slots for exceptional athletes or extremely talented musicians, those students that the school really wants. They don't have to pay anything even when the family can easily afford the tuition. Those students bring exposure to the schools and bragging rights.

My nephews, an exceptional athlete and violinist, attended one of the big 3s for free even when my brother HHI is 1.5M/yr. Go figure.

If this is true, I'd be extremely upset and would no longer make donations to the scholarship fund. Anyone with a HHI of that much should be embarrassed to take FA away from the type of student it was designed to serve.

Schools compete for truly exceptional students. If three good privates really want a standout student, the winner is going to offer more than just admission. If you were to stop making donations it would hurt the kids who need FA, not the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FA isn’t just about SES. I’ve literally been told by a school - in writing no less - that their FA was intended to diversify the school, which we don’t do. Admitted, yes. Being white meant no FA.

Weird. I wonder if your income was just too high. We just moved our child from public to private. One of the first families we met was a white family who talked openly about needing financial aid to send their several children there.

[Anonymous]

I am very skeptical of the idea that the schools give full rides to rich people because of the so-called exceptional student talent/athlete/musician etc. It comes up all the time on these boards and yet I have never heard a whiff of it IRL at various DC privates. Despite having friends with kids for years at all the Big 3s, no one has ever heard of it. (and many of these people would be outraged if it did happen so they would have no reason/interest in covering it up). I absolutely know that it does not happen at the school my DC is currently at (not a "Big 3") but even when I have had kids at those schools it does not seem to be in play. I strongly suspect this is just a DCUM myth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

Well, my personally opinion about private schools such as big 3 or those that cost over 43K/yr look for:

- full pay students

- some slots for students with exceptional academic but can't pay full. They will get FA depend on HHI. Low income family will get full FA

- some slots for recruited athletes. Some might qualify for FA. Those that are low income will get full FA.

- a few slots for exceptional athletes or extremely talented musicians, those students that the school really wants. They don't have to pay anything even when the family can easily afford the tuition. Those students bring exposure to the schools and bragging rights.

My nephews, an exceptional athlete and violinist, attended one of the big 3s for free even when my brother HHI is 1.5M/yr. Go figure.

If this is true, I'd be extremely upset and would no longer make donations to the scholarship fund. Anyone with a HHI of that much should be embarrassed to take FA away from the type of student it was designed to serve.

Schools compete for truly exceptional students. If three good privates really want a standout student, the winner is going to offer more than just admission. If you were to stop making donations it would hurt the kids who need FA, not the school.

They should compete for that student, who will want for nothing in life by virtue of being rich and talented, by offering a truly exceptional school experience, not by taking money away from kids who need it. I hope my kids' school doesn't want a family that is that wealthy but not willing willing to pay tuition because they think their kid is so great she should go to the highest bidder. Not great values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we are blessed with many very high quality public schools.

What are the specific "very high quality public schools" that a lower middle class family can access?

Pretty much any FCPS school in the middle class areas of Fairfax County. The tradeoff is the commute, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess we would be the nearly destitute people you mention OP (at least in this area we are). My DS was accepted to some independent schools but since we required too much FA, he couldn’t accept. How many really “poor” students attend these schools?

Well, my personally opinion about private schools such as big 3 or those that cost over 43K/yr look for:

- full pay students

- some slots for students with exceptional academic but can't pay full. They will get FA depend on HHI. Low income family will get full FA

- some slots for recruited athletes. Some might qualify for FA. Those that are low income will get full FA.

- a few slots for exceptional athletes or extremely talented musicians, those students that the school really wants. They don't have to pay anything even when the family can easily afford the tuition. Those students bring exposure to the schools and bragging rights.

My nephews, an exceptional athlete and violinist, attended one of the big 3s for free even when my brother HHI is 1.5M/yr. Go figure.

If this is true, I'd be extremely upset and would no longer make donations to the scholarship fund. Anyone with a HHI of that much should be embarrassed to take FA away from the type of student it was designed to serve.

Schools compete for truly exceptional students. If three good privates really want a standout student, the winner is going to offer more than just admission. If you were to stop making donations it would hurt the kids who need FA, not the school.

They should compete for that student, who will want for nothing in life by virtue of being rich and talented, by offering a truly exceptional school experience, not by taking money away from kids who need it. I hope my kids' school doesn't want a family that is that wealthy but not willing willing to pay tuition because they think their kid is so great she should go to the highest bidder. Not great values.

No one said that the family was seeking this. But if they had acceptances at three equivalent schools and one school really wanted the student and offered a free ride, then it’s a win-win for both student and school to accept the offer. Happy wealthy parents potentially mean large donations to the school, so it’s hard to see a loser in this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They should compete for that student, who will want for nothing in life by virtue of being rich and talented, by offering a truly exceptional school experience, not by taking money away from kids who need it. I hope my kids' school doesn't want a family that is that wealthy but not willing willing to pay tuition because they think their kid is so great she should go to the highest bidder. Not great values.

No one said that the family was seeking this. But if they had acceptances at three equivalent schools and one school really wanted the student and offered a free ride, then it’s a win-win for both student and school to accept the offer. Happy wealthy parents potentially mean large donations to the school, so it’s hard to see a loser in this scenario.

+1

The best academic students, athletes, musicians and artists will bring a lot of attention to the school. For example, I think everyone knows where Katie Ledecky went to high school. She attended public school but I am sure had she wanted to go to Sidwell, it would have been free for her.

The publicity/exposure for the school is worth more than 4 years of tuition.

[Anonymous]

OP assuming you live in close in VA, MD or in NW DC, you live among the best public high school options in the country. I would think you should worry less about the school you can afford and more about the woe is me attitude projected by your post and most likely modeled in your home. Kids need resilience, as the saying goes, and if your DC is experiencing your negativity about the public options, it is unclear how he/she will build resilience and then confidence from success. I hope you get hope with this - not even the best private school can help you model a good attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should compete for that student, who will want for nothing in life by virtue of being rich and talented, by offering a truly exceptional school experience, not by taking money away from kids who need it. I hope my kids' school doesn't want a family that is that wealthy but not willing willing to pay tuition because they think their kid is so great she should go to the highest bidder. Not great values.

No one said that the family was seeking this. But if they had acceptances at three equivalent schools and one school really wanted the student and offered a free ride, then it’s a win-win for both student and school to accept the offer. Happy wealthy parents potentially mean large donations to the school, so it’s hard to see a loser in this scenario.

+1

The best academic students, athletes, musicians and artists will bring a lot of attention to the school. For example, I think everyone knows where Katie Ledecky went to high school. She attended public school but I am sure had she wanted to go to Sidwell, it would have been free for her.

The publicity/exposure for the school is worth more than 4 years of tuition.

That is a really shallow way to look at education. No one thinks the superstar is super because of their high school. Still, if the parents are going to donate a ton anyway, then why not give the financial aid to a student who needs financial aid? And you don't see the loser in this situation because the "loser" had to turn down the offer of admission because they didn't get enough financial aid to attend. It happens every year.

BTW since you got KL's school wrong, you kind of disprove your point.