Unsolicited Negative Feedback about College

[Anonymous]

My favorite is when someone asks where DD has applied, and when I give them a couple of names, they say, "Oh, well, what about X or Y?" Like my answer doesn't meet some standard they have for my kid. Grrrrr. (And yes, I'm working on answers that dodge the question.)

[Anonymous]

University of Mary Washington? "Oh, I understand it has a lovely campus." That is what I say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One response is to say “ they are all party schools” or “ what college isn’t” with a smile — because they are!

Then move on to he/she is really happy there/thriving/loves her classes/environment,..... So happy he/she found a school that fits her. End of.

We get a bit of that as one dc not at a top-ranked state or Slac but, you know what, she’s a great kid who was born average, had a few challenges, and is exceeding our expectations. I wish people in the DMV would let kids grow, develop, evolve at their own pace. And, pick schools that are good for them!!!

Amen. When another parent tells me where their child is going to college, a make a point of saying, "I've heard such great things about that school!" No matter what school it is. I appreciate it when other parents do the same to me, upon hearing where my kids are going. Only positive comments, people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:University of Mary Washington? "Oh, I understand it has a lovely campus." That is what I say.

Yes, it does. And it's also a good school so, bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any person that makes negative comments about another person's childs school is "more to be pitied than censured." How pathetic that someone has such poor social skills that they'd say something negative (including a school is a party school). Anyone with any decency just says, "congratulations" or "thats great, I hope Larla enjoys her new school." Just blow it off, OP. Be proud of your child. There are many wonderful schools and life is too short to be bothered by petty, socially inept people.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:University of Mary Washington? "Oh, I understand it has a lovely campus." That is what I say.

Yes, it does. And it's also a good school so, bonus.

It *is* a beautiful campus.


Really saying anything negative is so rude and tactless. If I said “oh we just bought a condo in Fairy Tale Woods” would people make disparaging comments? It’s the same thing. Regarding food I heard someone say “don’t yuck somebodies yum” in reference to getting their children not to act rude when presented with foods they don’t like. Same concept here.

[Anonymous]

^ c'mon. "Disparaging would be "is that the best she could get into?" Nothing negative or disparaging about "it has a lovely campus."
CNU has nice dorms from what I hear and has gotten quite popular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:University of Mary Washington? "Oh, I understand it has a lovely campus." That is what I say.

Yes, it does. And it's also a good school so, bonus.

I also agree it has a lovely campus and it isn't distracted by research and graduate study like many schools (even those with good names).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:University of Mary Washington? "Oh, I understand it has a lovely campus." That is what I say.

Yes, it does. And it's also a good school so, bonus.

I also agree it has a lovely campus and it isn't distracted by research and graduate study like many schools (even those with good names).

[Anonymous]

My son got a free ride to college by virtue of his test scores and grades. I had a “friend” remark that this college hands out scholarships freely and how another University was better in ranking and shit. Why do people indulge in disparaging remarks like these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems everyone has an opinion. How do you respond when someone says something negative about your child's college choice or a college that your child applied to. In the last week I have had two people say DDs college is a party school. I just say not really, it takes really high stats to get in. Another knocked one of the schools DS got in and was excited about by saying in a derogatory way "of course he got in"

Wait, what is negative about these comments?

Saying a school is a party school, when it indeed is, is not an insult. There are many party schools that are elite. UVA for example. I don't think the person was trying to insult your child with this comment, but it might be borderline insult for some who have insecurity issues.

The second comment is just not an insult, I am sorry. If someone says "of course he got in," I would take that to mean that he is a good candidate. I am still in the waiting stages for my kid's decisions, and one of his schools is a top 20 which is his #1 choice. One person pretty much said the same thing...something like, "why wouldn't he get in?" I guess some may consider this an insult if they had a thin skin or severe insecurities, but I took it to mean that DS is a great candidate (which he is!).

Come on OP, there are a lot worse things people can say. I think you need to get a thicker skin and stop being so insecure and sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son got a free ride to college by virtue of his test scores and grades. I had a “friend” remark that this college hands out scholarships freely and how another University was better in ranking and shit. Why do people indulge in disparaging remarks like these.

just say "yeah, but it's a FREE ride." Makes perfect sense that most anyone would agree with.

[Anonymous]

I went to a friend's son's graduation a few years ago and I asked where her son was going. This was before I was in the thick of college admissions (DS was only a freshman). When I asked her where he was going, she said Wash U in St. Louis. I said, oh, there is one of those in St. Louis? I truly knew nothing of this school. I am sure she felt insulted, but I am sorry, many people outside of the college world know nothing of that school, as great as it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a friend's son's graduation a few years ago and I asked where her son was going. This was before I was in the thick of college admissions (DS was only a freshman). When I asked her where he was going, she said Wash U in St. Louis. I said, oh, there is one of those in St. Louis? I truly knew nothing of this school. I am sure she felt insulted, but I am sorry, many people outside of the college world know nothing of that school, as great as it is.

people often tell me they have never heard of DC's college, a top 10 LAC. I really don't take offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, if the shoe fits, wear it:

Princeton Review's top 20 party schools:

1. University of Deleware

2. West Virginia

3. Tulane University

4. Syracuse University

5. Bucknell University

6. Lehigh University

7. UC Santa Barbara

8. University of Wisconsin

9. Colgate University

10. University of Rhode Island

11. University of Alabama

12. University of Vermont

13. Providence College

14. Wake Forest University

15. Union College

16. University of Maine

17. University of Illinois

18. University of Florida

19. Florida State University

20. Sonoma State University

surprised U of Georgia fell off the list

This list is so stupid. They just rotate the names around every year, add a few- drop off a few. Kids party more at Lehigh than Arizona and Wake Forest more than ECU - right.