S/O what do you consider “haves”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

PP here. No my kids aren’t bilingual (white Americans) but they do have daily foreign language instruction in their top private.

As for Machu Pichu, yes we have been but we took the train.

Nothing in that post says “have” to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

Is hiking the Inca trail that impressive? I thought every college kid did that.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

Is hiking the Inca trail that impressive? I thought every college kid did that.

I find it hard to believe you have even traveled, due to how blatently ignorant you are.

Exhibit C for why Trump is our president. A nation of ifiots like the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 12:40 and mistyped - meant I was a NP (not “no”). I don’t think it is the norm to make high salaries and have both parents home by 5pm. If there is one SAHP in this scenario, it usually means other parent is working late or has frequent travel. One parent could be home, but both?

I’m a SAHM and my husband works from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

My kids have all this too and I don’t consider them “haves.”

Personally, I think to be in “have” territory, it’s because you know your kids will be inheriting a 20M + trust fund at age 25. What you’re describing is normal UMC lifestyle. The world has gotten MUCH more competitive since the 80s and 90s. Even with everything you and I give our kids, we can’t guarantee their future success. It’s money and (big) trust funds that can.

You people are ridiculous with your insistence on parsing every nuance of social class.

Why don’t you just admit that the haves vs. have nots refer to hundred millionaires/billionaires vs. everyone else.

There are “haves”, “have mores”, and “have it alls”. You and your family are “haves” ( at least), the ones with $20m are have-it-all’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

Is hiking the Inca trail that impressive? I thought every college kid did that.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

Is hiking the Inca trail that impressive? I thought every college kid did that.

I find it hard to believe you have even traveled, due to how blatently ignorant you are.

Exhibit C for why Trump is our president. A nation of ifiots like the above.

I’m confused. Can you please explain why you believe that post was “blatently” ignorant, or why it has anything to do with Trump?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No - It’s not unique to have two parents home at 5pm every night and have home-cooked meals all together at the dinner table every night? Plus the money for college/first home, EC music lessons, expensive sport, tutors...that’s what most people have?

If that is not unique it is news to most of America.

Wait how do you get both parents home by 5?? That alone is really really hard if you also have decent income.

We are both in technology sales and when not seeing customers WFH ( we both work for SFO companies). Both of us never make appointments after 3pm and besides, customers never want to meet late. Furthermore rules disallow us to take customers out, so that eliminates all evening events/dinners.

Combine income varies widely. Bad year is 440k, average 600k, great year 900k.

Sorry you are a have not. Sucks.

[Anonymous]

You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

I see sick kids day in and day out and these kids by the grace of generosity get to stay for free at the children's Inn, these are "normal" families who don't have the money for weeks at a motel, let alone the Inca Trail.

You need to travel to my home country, India and wake the f%ck up. Yes, even my kids, with a woefully funded 529, family trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and the luxury of clean water, medical care and a safe home are haves.

Americans sometimes really disgust me with their ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

I see sick kids day in and day out and these kids by the grace of generosity get to stay for free at the children's Inn, these are "normal" families who don't have the money for weeks at a motel, let alone the Inca Trail.

You need to travel to my home country, India and wake the f%ck up. Yes, even my kids, with a woefully funded 529, family trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and the luxury of clean water, medical care and a safe home are haves.

Americans sometimes really disgust me with their ignorance.

Wow, what a crazy rant. Do you lecture people like this in your “home country” too?

[Anonymous]

My kids are now adults and when they were growing up they had everything they needed but far less then they wanted even though we could have afforded just about anything. It was all about teaching them values plus them hearing the word "no". Now they all have successful careers but they really know the value of money, the importance of saving and being thrifty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

Is hiking the Inca trail that impressive? I thought every college kid did that.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

Is hiking the Inca trail that impressive? I thought every college kid did that.

I find it hard to believe you have even traveled, due to how blatently ignorant you are.

Exhibit C for why Trump is our president. A nation of ifiots like the above.

I’m confused. Can you please explain why you believe that post was “blatently” ignorant, or why it has anything to do with Trump?

Bless your heart. You poor thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

I see sick kids day in and day out and these kids by the grace of generosity get to stay for free at the children's Inn, these are "normal" families who don't have the money for weeks at a motel, let alone the Inca Trail.

You need to travel to my home country, India and wake the f%ck up. Yes, even my kids, with a woefully funded 529, family trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and the luxury of clean water, medical care and a safe home are haves.

Americans sometimes really disgust me with their ignorance.

Wow, what a crazy rant. Do you lecture people like this in your “home country” too?

I 100% agree with this and I'm definitely a have not and a 27yr old American who has only traveled to Canada.. There is a huge disconnect from people like you and people like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

My kids have all this too and I don’t consider them “haves.”

Personally, I think to be in “have” territory, it’s because you know your kids will be inheriting a 20M + trust fund at age 25. What you’re describing is normal UMC lifestyle. The world has gotten MUCH more competitive since the 80s and 90s. Even with everything you and I give our kids, we can’t guarantee their future success. It’s money and (big) trust funds that can.

+1

Most people with decent incomes (500k +) do everything the quoted PP does, it’s called good parenting.

Wow, now we have to make 500k to consider it a “decent” income.

[Anonymous]

The poster saying traveling the inca trail is standard is in a little bubble and woefully out of touch. Most Americans haven’t even been out of the US before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

I see sick kids day in and day out and these kids by the grace of generosity get to stay for free at the children's Inn, these are "normal" families who don't have the money for weeks at a motel, let alone the Inca Trail.

You need to travel to my home country, India and wake the f%ck up. Yes, even my kids, with a woefully funded 529, family trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and the luxury of clean water, medical care and a safe home are haves.

Americans sometimes really disgust me with their ignorance.

From one Indian-American to another, you are being purposely obtuse when you go all SJW on “ignorant” Americans while ignoring the EXTREME income and class inequality in India. Yeah there’s poor people who live in slums but there’s also a huge middle class and ultra rich class that have everything and much more than you. They don’t even treat the poor like humans, let alone sympathize and contemplate what it’s like to be a “have not.” There’s a lot of striving and loss of perspective around the world, not just in America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

I see sick kids day in and day out and these kids by the grace of generosity get to stay for free at the children's Inn, these are "normal" families who don't have the money for weeks at a motel, let alone the Inca Trail.

You need to travel to my home country, India and wake the f%ck up. Yes, even my kids, with a woefully funded 529, family trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and the luxury of clean water, medical care and a safe home are haves.

Americans sometimes really disgust me with their ignorance.

If you re two researchers at NIH, what is going on that you cannot afford camps.