Controversial opinion: College and University edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One's college room-mate can make all the difference. DC got a real dud and is depressed and hating school.

A lot of truth to this.

That’s why kids do Greek life. Greek life kids don’t give a sh-t about dorm social life.

Not true, generally. First year is dorm, even for those who later go greek. After that you pick your roommate(s).

But the point is that even if they’re living in the dorm, they don’t give a crap about being buddies with their roommate or kids on their floor. Their social life and friend pool comes from Greek life.

(DD was on the opposite side of this- she was one of the few girls in her dorm who didn’t rush and the girls on her floor didn’t really care about making friends with her.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero college debt is the best financial step-up you can offer your children. It will make their lives less stressful, allow them to look for employment that fits (rather than taking the first thing offered), and allow them to live on the crap wages young people are supposed to make.

It is more important to choose a college you and they can afford than the "best fit." A "good enough fit" and zero debt will serve them better in life.

+1

I was flabbergasted to hear the hosts on a popular parenting podcast (the Slate one) basically pooh-pooh the idea that you should flat-out tell your children how much money there is for college, how much the colleges they are interested in cost, and the ramifications of attending a college you can't afford.

Instead, there were conversations about "considering what's possible" and not ruling anything out ... well, why not? If you already know you aren't going to qualify for significant financial aid, or the living expenses or too great even if tuition is lowered, or if 1/2 price is still more than is reasonable, why not have that conversation with your child?

Unless you're planning to subsidize their post-college life, too, to make sure they never have to make disappointing choices, what is the issue with having a frank financial conversation with them about what an unaffordable college education, no matter how much they reeeeaaaallllyyyy want to go there, would do to their life?

My kid applied to several schools that we couldn't afford. We said, "go ahead and apply. We'll evaluate our options once we see where you've been accepted and what the costs end up being. Know that we may have to make some tough choices based on affordability though." Guess what? She ended up getting a merit scholarship that brought her costs down close to what the other options would cost, and she now attends that school "we couldn't afford." Not applying to a school because of the sticker price is a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One's college room-mate can make all the difference. DC got a real dud and is depressed and hating school.

A lot of truth to this.

That’s why kids do Greek life. Greek life kids don’t give a sh-t about dorm social life.

Not true, generally. First year is dorm, even for those who later go greek. After that you pick your roommate(s).

Huh? My kid did Greek life and it began basically as soon as they got on campus with meet and greets or whatever. Then rush week is like week 3 of the first semester. Greek life kids only shower and sleep in the dorm after that. They couldn’t give a crap if their roommate is weird - they’re rarely in the dorm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One's college room-mate can make all the difference. DC got a real dud and is depressed and hating school.

A lot of truth to this.

That’s why kids do Greek life. Greek life kids don’t give a sh-t about dorm social life.

Not true, generally. First year is dorm, even for those who later go greek. After that you pick your roommate(s).

Huh? My kid did Greek life and it began basically as soon as they got on campus with meet and greets or whatever. Then rush week is like week 3 of the first semester. Greek life kids only shower and sleep in the dorm after that. They couldn’t give a crap if their roommate is weird - they’re rarely in the dorm.

Only big state schools have fall rush for freshman.....such a stupid idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero college debt is the best financial step-up you can offer your children. It will make their lives less stressful, allow them to look for employment that fits (rather than taking the first thing offered), and allow them to live on the crap wages young people are supposed to make.

It is more important to choose a college you and they can afford than the "best fit." A "good enough fit" and zero debt will serve them better in life.

+1

I was flabbergasted to hear the hosts on a popular parenting podcast (the Slate one) basically pooh-pooh the idea that you should flat-out tell your children how much money there is for college, how much the colleges they are interested in cost, and the ramifications of attending a college you can't afford.

Instead, there were conversations about "considering what's possible" and not ruling anything out ... well, why not? If you already know you aren't going to qualify for significant financial aid, or the living expenses or too great even if tuition is lowered, or if 1/2 price is still more than is reasonable, why not have that conversation with your child?

Unless you're planning to subsidize their post-college life, too, to make sure they never have to make disappointing choices, what is the issue with having a frank financial conversation with them about what an unaffordable college education, no matter how much they reeeeaaaallllyyyy want to go there, would do to their life?

My kid applied to several schools that we couldn't afford. We said, "go ahead and apply. We'll evaluate our options once we see where you've been accepted and what the costs end up being. Know that we may have to make some tough choices based on affordability though." Guess what? She ended up getting a merit scholarship that brought her costs down close to what the other options would cost, and she now attends that school "we couldn't afford." Not applying to a school because of the sticker price is a mistake.

We had a similar approach with our kids. We said “we will pay this much for each of you. Make whatever choices you like but we’re giving you this and only this.” We also gave them a debt and loan payment calculating spreadsheet and thereby allowed them to model loan payments. It opened their eyes, though they each picked different places on the debt spectrum.

[Anonymous]

People who continue to cry foul on not be admitted to elite U’s based on merit, will never win because they don’t realize those are not the rules of the game. If you want to win the game, play the game and stop whining.

[Anonymous]

Schools don’t have 25% URM, legacy, or athletes.... so who else is in the bottom quartile?

[Anonymous]

the rest of us wonder why people who are fighting Harvard et al would want to attend a school they thought was racist? They should boycott or start their own school and “show them”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bottom quartile of admitted test scores/grades at elite LACs are comprised mostly of athletes, legacies and URMs.

I would also say that most of the athletes, legacies and URMs are not in the bottom quartile.

Can you figure out how both statements can be true?

[Anonymous]

The college admissions process is an unequitable, racist and unfair process and we are all complicit in this.

For example, the SAT is a racist tool designed to keep "OTHERS" out of top schools. The creator explicitly developed it to keep minorities and immigrants from higher education. And it works. It is quickly becoming a tool being used to keep poor whites out as well.

The vast majority of schools the board deems ok for so-called under-achievers actually SUCK, which is why everyone clamors for the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools don’t have 25% URM, legacy, or athletes.... so who else is in the bottom quartile?

Harvard looked for a “happy bottom quarter” (given that the alternative might be suicidal former-valedictorians). Legacies and kids of wealthy/powerful foreigners were part of it, but so were exceptional kids whose center of gravity just wasn’t academic. Some of those kids were artists or people bent on saving the world. Might not have great test scores or GPAs, but could well be people whom the school would be happy to claim as alumns somewhere down the line.

Personally, I might well admit a “March for our Lives” founder who’d fall in the bottom quarter of admittees over a kid with perfect grades and scores but nothing else to recommend him/herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One's college room-mate can make all the difference. DC got a real dud and is depressed and hating school.

A lot of truth to this.

That’s why kids do Greek life. Greek life kids don’t give a sh-t about dorm social life.

Not true, generally. First year is dorm, even for those who later go greek. After that you pick your roommate(s).

Huh? My kid did Greek life and it began basically as soon as they got on campus with meet and greets or whatever. Then rush week is like week 3 of the first semester. Greek life kids only shower and sleep in the dorm after that. They couldn’t give a crap if their roommate is weird - they’re rarely in the dorm.

Only big state schools have fall rush for freshman.....such a stupid idea.

I don’t think so. I saw photos of my niece - freshman at MIT - at sorority related things this fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools don’t have 25% URM, legacy, or athletes.... so who else is in the bottom quartile?

Some small LACS have over 25% athletes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The college admissions process is an unequitable, racist and unfair process and we are all complicit in this.

Um, what now? I have no control whatsoever over any part of the process. Therefore I am not complicit in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One's college room-mate can make all the difference. DC got a real dud and is depressed and hating school.

A lot of truth to this.

That’s why kids do Greek life. Greek life kids don’t give a sh-t about dorm social life.

Not true, generally. First year is dorm, even for those who later go greek. After that you pick your roommate(s).

Huh? My kid did Greek life and it began basically as soon as they got on campus with meet and greets or whatever. Then rush week is like week 3 of the first semester. Greek life kids only shower and sleep in the dorm after that. They couldn’t give a crap if their roommate is weird - they’re rarely in the dorm.

Only big state schools have fall rush for freshman.....such a stupid idea.

I don’t think so. I saw photos of my niece - freshman at MIT - at sorority related things this fall.

Yeah but pledges don’t normally just hang out in the fraternity/sorority all the time freshman year. They are still largely creatures of the dorms.