sigh...falling in love with non-Christian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am super catholic...or was. Married a nice catholic guy. And it turned out he didn't even believe in God. He totally lied and was just catholic because that is how he was raised. We got a divorce and I am now married to a good man who is agnostic. He majored in Religion and we are raising our kids catholic and they even go to catholic school. Honestly, I rather have an honest non Christian than a Christian who is lying to himself and you. So stop the hand wringing and go walk a pilgrimage or something to figure yourself out.

How did you not know he wasn’t really Catholic before marriage? This seems like one of those things couples should really dig into before committing their lives to each other in front of god.

PP here. He lied to me that he believed in God. He told me he grew up catholic and was happy being catholic. He ended up having a host of psychological issues. He never remarried and lives alone. I actually feel bad for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to think of the afterlife. How will you enjoy everlasting bliss if your most loved person is in hell for eternity?

Based on what I have been taught, you relationships in the afterlife aren't the same. You won't be "married" to your spouse.

But you will sill still suffer knowing they are suffering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is long. Most people's faith changes as they age. More importantly, people can be happily married and of different beliefs. The key is respect. My DH and I have been married for 30 years. We were both evangelical Christians when we got married at 22. Between us we have been Southern Baptist, Methodist, Buddhist, Catholic, Krishna, Wicca, UU, Unity, and Episcopalian. My DH was Atheist for a while. We grow spiritually when we are willing to be open.

We attend an Episcopal Church - For now.

Yeah I know that people of different religions can "get along", its just that God says no...

Minister here. No. He/she doesn't say that. Not even close.

Hello, Minister -- YOUR interpretation of God doesn't say no, but other interpretations do -- and the concept of God is widely open to interpretation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am super catholic...or was. Married a nice catholic guy. And it turned out he didn't even believe in God. He totally lied and was just catholic because that is how he was raised. We got a divorce and I am now married to a good man who is agnostic. He majored in Religion and we are raising our kids catholic and they even go to catholic school. Honestly, I rather have an honest non Christian than a Christian who is lying to himself and you. So stop the hand wringing and go walk a pilgrimage or something to figure yourself out.

One of these things is not like the other.....

[Anonymous]

My wife is catholic and I’m Jewish. Kids are being raised catholic. She’s never once suggested I convert and if she did I’d feel very disrespected. That said, we often go to church as a family and that is a nice and enjoyable time for the four of us (except that they won’t let me have the crackers and the holy water burns my skin a bit when the priest throws it). I say give the heathen a chance as long as you respect his choices as to belief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am super catholic...or was. Married a nice catholic guy. And it turned out he didn't even believe in God. He totally lied and was just catholic because that is how he was raised. We got a divorce and I am now married to a good man who is agnostic. He majored in Religion and we are raising our kids catholic and they even go to catholic school. Honestly, I rather have an honest non Christian than a Christian who is lying to himself and you. So stop the hand wringing and go walk a pilgrimage or something to figure yourself out.

One of these things is not like the other.....

It is called an annulment. They exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is long. Most people's faith changes as they age. More importantly, people can be happily married and of different beliefs. The key is respect. My DH and I have been married for 30 years. We were both evangelical Christians when we got married at 22. Between us we have been Southern Baptist, Methodist, Buddhist, Catholic, Krishna, Wicca, UU, Unity, and Episcopalian. My DH was Atheist for a while. We grow spiritually when we are willing to be open.

We attend an Episcopal Church - For now.

Yeah I know that people of different religions can "get along", its just that God says no...

Minister here. No. He/she doesn't say that. Not even close.

Hello, Minister -- YOUR interpretation of God doesn't say no, but other interpretations do -- and the concept of God is widely open to interpretation.

I agree that people view God differently. And I think it's awesome. Our relationship with our creator is ours alone. But no where in Christian sacred scripture does God say anything even close to what the OP claims. That is not open to interpretation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is long. Most people's faith changes as they age. More importantly, people can be happily married and of different beliefs. The key is respect. My DH and I have been married for 30 years. We were both evangelical Christians when we got married at 22. Between us we have been Southern Baptist, Methodist, Buddhist, Catholic, Krishna, Wicca, UU, Unity, and Episcopalian. My DH was Atheist for a while. We grow spiritually when we are willing to be open.

We attend an Episcopal Church - For now.

Yeah I know that people of different religions can "get along", its just that God says no...

Minister here. No. He/she doesn't say that. Not even close.

Hello, Minister -- YOUR interpretation of God doesn't say no, but other interpretations do -- and the concept of God is widely open to interpretation.

I agree that people view God differently. And I think it's awesome. Our relationship with our creator is ours alone. But no where in Christian sacred scripture does God say anything even close to what the OP claims. That is not open to interpretation.

2 Corinthians 6: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is long. Most people's faith changes as they age. More importantly, people can be happily married and of different beliefs. The key is respect. My DH and I have been married for 30 years. We were both evangelical Christians when we got married at 22. Between us we have been Southern Baptist, Methodist, Buddhist, Catholic, Krishna, Wicca, UU, Unity, and Episcopalian. My DH was Atheist for a while. We grow spiritually when we are willing to be open.

We attend an Episcopal Church - For now.

Yeah I know that people of different religions can "get along", its just that God says no...

Minister here. No. He/she doesn't say that. Not even close.

Hello, Minister -- YOUR interpretation of God doesn't say no, but other interpretations do -- and the concept of God is widely open to interpretation.

I agree that people view God differently. And I think it's awesome. Our relationship with our creator is ours alone. But no where in Christian sacred scripture does God say anything even close to what the OP claims. That is not open to interpretation.

2 Corinthians 6: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

Didn't you read what the minister said? This is "not even close" to saying that Christians should't marry non-Christians.

[Anonymous]

Years ago, I fell in love with a man. I felt much as you do, that him being Christian was vital for marriage. Talking about religion with him was confusing, but after lengthy discussions, I was assured that he was Christian, he just didn't want to attend church. I married him.

Now, I feel like he misled me for years about his religious beliefs. I honestly don't know what his religious beliefs are today. I only know it's not what I believed it to be when we married. Our life together has fallen apart, and worst of all I have compromised myself and my relationship with God along the way. I do believe the Bible says that Christians should only marry Christians. I think it's wise counsel.

[Anonymous]

Holding out for a Christian man is a recipe for never marrying. Seriously, there are twice as many religious women as men. Men who do go to church are often there for business contacts. If you are going to have high standards, you have to be prepared for the fact that most people can't meet them.

[Anonymous]

Another question is, is your Christianity going to be a deal-breaker for your guy? Not clear how far along the relationship is, but have you discussed the religion issue?

As for whoever posted something suggesting that as a non-Christian the guy can't be moral, that is a load of crap. It's been a loooong time since I had to read the whole Bible in confirmation classes, and I haven't been a Christian for almost as long, but seems to me Paul or something said something about the law being written on people's hearts. I've had evangelicals I know insist that without God "how can you have a moral compass??" Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t accept that his beliefs are equally as valid as yours, then he is too good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt he’ll be interested.

Exactly. You strike me as both extreme and rigid in your beliefs - what makes you think he’d be interested?

[Anonymous]

Religion is the opiate of the masses .

Get over it and yourself if your heart so counsels.