Man wanting to dance with daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine to protect your daughter from an adult man who was trying to get her to dance. You haven’t answered the question on what type of dance. Was he trying to get her to join everyone in a group electric slide? Chicken dance? This is different than trying to dance with her one on one.

This was definitely a one on one dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whether you acted appropriately of course depends on what precisely you did. All the people saying you were fine are making a lot of assumptions. That you may have lost friends indicates that you may have overreacted. Frankly, the absence of details in your post also suggests that you think you overreacted.

I don’t think I did... Let me just come out and say it. I basically pushed the guy away from her forcefully and said are you nuts?

Once again, OP, you’re being pretty vague. There’s a lot loaded in that “basically” - why don’t you just describe precisely what you said, what you did, and what happened afterwards?

It’s probably fictional, that’s why.

What happened afterwards..

Well, the guests immediately intervened and we were separated. The guy got up... (yeah I really pushed him). I was stiill pissed directly afterwards but I talked it out with the friends that I didn’t plan to take this further. I apologized. I think the guy expressed apologies but not directly to us. My daughter said she wanted to leave and we left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was totally out of bounds. I'm Team OP. You don't lay your hands on another person like that ever, but particularly not a child, and particularly not an adult man on a girl. I mean seriously, how dare he think he has the right to physically force your daughter like that. Disgusting. As for your former friends, good riddance.

+1

[Anonymous]

Are you a woman? And did you push him so hard he fell onto the ground? That’s a lot of force.

But generally the guy was out of line and deserved to be yelled at. Just not sure about thrown to the ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a woman? And did you push him so hard he fell onto the ground? That’s a lot of force.

But generally the guy was out of line and deserved to be yelled at. Just not sure about thrown to the ground.

Yeah, this whole thread it has been assumed that I was a woman but I’m definitely a guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm in the minority, but I do think you overreacted a bit. Sounds like he was drunk and being foolish/overly friendly. I would have simply placed myself between him and her, and said she doesn't want to dance, thanks anyway. If he didn't back off at that point, I might have pushed him though!

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whether you acted appropriately of course depends on what precisely you did. All the people saying you were fine are making a lot of assumptions. That you may have lost friends indicates that you may have overreacted. Frankly, the absence of details in your post also suggests that you think you overreacted.

I don’t think I did... Let me just come out and say it. I basically pushed the guy away from her forcefully and said are you nuts?

Once again, OP, you’re being pretty vague. There’s a lot loaded in that “basically” - why don’t you just describe precisely what you said, what you did, and what happened afterwards?

It’s probably fictional, that’s why.

What happened afterwards..

Well, the guests immediately intervened and we were separated. The guy got up... (yeah I really pushed him). I was stiill pissed directly afterwards but I talked it out with the friends that I didn’t plan to take this further. I apologized. I think the guy expressed apologies but not directly to us. My daughter said she wanted to leave and we left.

Of course she wanted to leave, you made a huge spectacle and embarrassed her. Probably frightened her too.

Overreaction. Why didn’t you just step up and say, “hey, knock it off, she doesn’t want to dance.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm in the minority, but I do think you overreacted a bit. Sounds like he was drunk and being foolish/overly friendly. I would have simply placed myself between him and her, and said she doesn't want to dance, thanks anyway. If he didn't back off at that point, I might have pushed him though!

This.

Op here I would’ve have gladly placed myself between them if it was physically possible. She was in a soft arm chair curled up and he was literally crouched down on top of her both hands grabbing her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm in the minority, but I do think you overreacted a bit. Sounds like he was drunk and being foolish/overly friendly. I would have simply placed myself between him and her, and said she doesn't want to dance, thanks anyway. If he didn't back off at that point, I might have pushed him though!

If she were older like 16 or 17 I could see this. I think the fact the dd is just 11 led her to respond the way she did.

I'd be more concerned if it were a 16 or 17 year old. I could see an overly friendly drunk guy thinking the 11 year old wasn't having fun at an adult party and trying to make her dance to have fun. Still completely inappropriate to grab her, but it could have been misguided trying to make her have fun. Maybe the other people at the party saw this was the situation and thought OP was getting caught up in the #METOO movement and overreacting. That could be the explanation of why she would lose friends. Having said that, OP, it's your daughter and you can protect her as you see fit.

Team OP. It is not a strange drunk man's responsibility to get a young tween girl to dance. It's none of his business. If my DD doesn't want to dance she is not going to placate some drunken fool so all the grown ups get to have fun and she doesnt. Mom taught DD No means no and the incredible strength of daring to go against the crowd/mood. I could care less about the poor adult male's hungover feelings the next day. Sure he meant no harm but Mom went with her gut instinct. Kudos to Mom.

[Anonymous]

There could possibly be lawsuits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm in the minority, but I do think you overreacted a bit. Sounds like he was drunk and being foolish/overly friendly. I would have simply placed myself between him and her, and said she doesn't want to dance, thanks anyway. If he didn't back off at that point, I might have pushed him though!

I agree with you. I think OP over reacted. Pushing him and yelling at him? Way to cause a scene and probably not be invited to future parties.

Who cares about future parties?

The drunk guy didn’t take no for an answer. He stepped over the line when he grabbed the child’s arm. How, exactly, is that EVER okay?

It’s not and I can’t believe that anyone is defending him.

[Anonymous]

Kudos to Dad it looks like. Even better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There could possibly be lawsuits.

Good lord, only in DC. Go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whether you acted appropriately of course depends on what precisely you did. All the people saying you were fine are making a lot of assumptions. That you may have lost friends indicates that you may have overreacted. Frankly, the absence of details in your post also suggests that you think you overreacted.

That is the part that concerns me, too.

Or it says that her friends don’t recognize inappropriate behavior and put their own friends’ comfort and fun above kids’ safety, which is a problem.

[Anonymous]

How many drinks did you have, OP?