Man wanting to dance with daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And maybe I missed it but I don’t remember OP saying he pushed the guy to the ground. I remember him saying it was a forceful push away from his dd.

Yes, you missed it.

Ok, well I also remember that he said the guy was drunk and crouching over her. It probably wouldn’t have taken much to topple someone who’s drunk and in an awkward position.

I doubt that’s what PP meant by “stand up for me,” and just wanted her parents not to make her dance with an old man to make him feel good when it made her uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

They never found this girl after the neighborhood Christmas party :

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Melissa_Brannen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was about 16 years old I was with my parents when some old guy (like 70 years) asked me to dance. I think my parents vaguely knew him. Anyway, I said no, but they made me dance with him, “c’mon, we are right here. It’s ok!” I think I even started crying. I wish they had stood up for me like you did for your daughter.

By pushing a 70yo man to the ground for trying to get you to dance? You wish that?

She said "stood up" for her, not "pushing the guy" to the ground. You have problem with reading comprehension?

See 11/02/2018 @ 07:23.

And I have fewer problems with reading comprehension than you do with indefinite articles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was about 16 years old I was with my parents when some old guy (like 70 years) asked me to dance. I think my parents vaguely knew him. Anyway, I said no, but they made me dance with him, “c’mon, we are right here. It’s ok!” I think I even started crying. I wish they had stood up for me like you did for your daughter.

By pushing a 70yo man to the ground for trying to get you to dance? You wish that?

YES! Repeat after me: being drunk does not give people the right to touch other people without consent. Being old does not give people the right to touch other people without consent.

Someone being on their phone does not mean that they have to touch or dance with or sleep with someone when they don't want to. Being a teen does not mean that someone has to touch or dance with or sleep with someone when they don't want to. Wearing a short skirt of a tight sweater or short shorts or a skimpy dress does not mean that someone has to allow anyone else to touch them, dance with them or assault them. If you don't get this, then you don't understand consent, and you are part of the problem.

If a random creepy 70 year old man paws an 11 year old, he deserves what he gets. I'm an older man, and I can assure you that it would never occur to me to paw at a child and demand that she dance with me.

[Anonymous]

Let's say his intentions were pure. He has kids/nieces/nephews and wanted to include your DD since she was on her phone while everyone was dancing. Once she said "no" he should have backed away. What he did afterward was not ok.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the posts but I wouldn't have overreacted, but that is just my personality. I'm not judging you btw, I understand why this made you angry, It would have angered me too. I would have walked to the man, said in an strong, but not screaming voice, "please let go of my daughter." When he let go, I would have said something like: "Next time, when someone says "no" it means "no", you are an adult and should know better. Please do not approach my child again."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the posts but I wouldn't have overreacted, but that is just my personality. I'm not judging you btw, I understand why this made you angry, It would have angered me too. I would have walked to the man, said in an strong, but not screaming voice, "please let go of my daughter." When he let go, I would have said something like: "Next time, when someone says "no" it means "no", you are an adult and should know better. Please do not approach my child again."

And that would have been the correct way to handle this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the posts but I wouldn't have overreacted, but that is just my personality. I'm not judging you btw, I understand why this made you angry, It would have angered me too. I would have walked to the man, said in an strong, but not screaming voice, "please let go of my daughter." When he let go, I would have said something like: "Next time, when someone says "no" it means "no", you are an adult and should know better. Please do not approach my child again."

Sure. Hindsight is 20/20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the posts but I wouldn't have overreacted, but that is just my personality. I'm not judging you btw, I understand why this made you angry, It would have angered me too. I would have walked to the man, said in an strong, but not screaming voice, "please let go of my daughter." When he let go, I would have said something like: "Next time, when someone says "no" it means "no", you are an adult and should know better. Please do not approach my child again."

Sure. Hindsight is 20/20.

Yep. OP was fine. This mom's approach also fine. My dh would have pushed the guy too. Once he became physical by grabbing the child, all bets were off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the posts but I wouldn't have overreacted, but that is just my personality. I'm not judging you btw, I understand why this made you angry, It would have angered me too. I would have walked to the man, said in an strong, but not screaming voice, "please let go of my daughter." When he let go, I would have said something like: "Next time, when someone says "no" it means "no", you are an adult and should know better. Please do not approach my child again."

And that would have been the correct way to handle this situation.

NP here. I would not tell someone to “please” stop harassing or touching or assaulting me. The rest is ok though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the posts but I wouldn't have overreacted, but that is just my personality. I'm not judging you btw, I understand why this made you angry, It would have angered me too. I would have walked to the man, said in an strong, but not screaming voice, "please let go of my daughter." When he let go, I would have said something like: "Next time, when someone says "no" it means "no", you are an adult and should know better. Please do not approach my child again."

And that would have been the correct way to handle this situation.

There are more than one correct/right way to react/respond in this case. The woman's way of talking to the guy is fine. The man's way of pushing him off is also OK.

From a man's point of view, when we saw our daughters were in distress (poor little girl must had been frighten when a total stranger physically restrained her and told her to do what he wishes), our parental instinct was to get her away from that situation immediately. Talking to the guy does not guarantee that he will release her arm, and it just prolongs her duress.

Note that the OP did not move when the guy accosted her and asked her to dance. He only reacted when the guy got physical with her.

[Anonymous]

You do not have to be polite and the “nice girl” when someone is harassing you or your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not have to be polite and the “nice girl” when someone is harassing you or your child.

OP is the dad, not the mom. No one is saying OP had to be the "nice girl."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was about 16 years old I was with my parents when some old guy (like 70 years) asked me to dance. I think my parents vaguely knew him. Anyway, I said no, but they made me dance with him, “c’mon, we are right here. It’s ok!” I think I even started crying. I wish they had stood up for me like you did for your daughter.

By pushing a 70yo man to the ground for trying to get you to dance? You wish that?

YES! Repeat after me: being drunk does not give people the right to touch other people without consent. Being old does not give people the right to touch other people without consent.

Someone being on their phone does not mean that they have to touch or dance with or sleep with someone when they don't want to. Being a teen does not mean that someone has to touch or dance with or sleep with someone when they don't want to. Wearing a short skirt of a tight sweater or short shorts or a skimpy dress does not mean that someone has to allow anyone else to touch them, dance with them or assault them. If you don't get this, then you don't understand consent, and you are part of the problem.

If a random creepy 70 year old man paws an 11 year old, he deserves what he gets. I'm an older man, and I can assure you that it would never occur to me to paw at a child and demand that she dance with me.

I don't remember the OP saying the guy was a 70 yo man. That was another poster.

[Anonymous]

So trashy to shove him to the ground and make a scene