Anyone else still drinking?

[Anonymous]

The thing is, IF you choose to engage in the occasional drink during pregnancy (...and I agree you referring to it as "still drinking" is a red flag), you unequivocally should not be drinking enough that you feel its effects, at all. So your purported excuse of using it to self-medicate for anxiety is concerning for multiple reasons.

Agree your husband's attitude sounds seriously worrisome. And I don't think your approach to drinking sounds healthy or normal, either. Fwiw I will have the occasional small drink here and there, although I personally wouldn't do it until the second tri.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, IF you choose to engage in the occasional drink during pregnancy (...and I agree you referring to it as "still drinking" is a red flag), you unequivocally should not be drinking enough that you feel its effects, at all. So your purported excuse of using it to self-medicate for anxiety is concerning for multiple reasons.

Agree your husband's attitude sounds seriously worrisome. And I don't think your approach to drinking sounds healthy or normal, either. Fwiw I will have the occasional small drink here and there, although I personally wouldn't do it until the second tri.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. I agree my DH has some issues with drinking. He doesn't get drunk but drinks more often than most do. We have a 1 year old already. I drank occasionally with her too. 1 serving to me is 12 oz of 5% beer, 5 oz of 11% wine, 1 shot of 40% spirits, etc.

Will he get help for this?

[Anonymous]

I wanted to drink so badly but I couldn’t do it. No judgement but for me it made me feel weak. Like if I could sacrifice this one unnecessary thing for my child then what could I do? That said, I don’t know how people can consistently drink with young kids at the house. I’m always afraid of being drunk when they wake up in the middle of the night etc.

[Anonymous]

I cut alcohol and caffeine, but re-introduce some coffee after the 1st tri as pregnancy makes me so tired at work. I had so many issues sleeping after my first was born (and continued waking every 3 hrs until 1yo).that I can't do any coffee or alcohol postpartum. I think it's worth adjusting to the post-baby life now as much as possible. If I were you
I would not drink at all, esp. if I planned to breastfeed. However, my OB said the occasional drink was fine after 1st tri.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wouldn't be that concerned about you having a drink occasionally if you said you just wanted to have a few sips of wine when you go out with your friends once a month or something. It's not recommended and not something I would do, but I don't think it's a major red flag.

What concerns me is that you say you do it because you're high-strung and stressed. That's not a reason to drink -- that sounds like someone "self medicating" with alcohol. If you're stressed to a level you can't handle, then you should go talk to a therapist or your OB and see about anxiety meds. They are safe to use during pregnancy if you use the right ones (safer than alcohol), and they can help you with this feeling. What you're describing sounds like a really unhealthy relationship with alcohol -- both for you and your DH. I would seriously look at whether there is alcoholism involved for both of you.

[Anonymous]

I’m really surprised by those of you saying it helps you sleep. I sleep terribly after drinking any amount of alcohol. It helps me fall asleep, but my sleep quality is terrible and I’m never well rested the next day. I enjoy wine, but have mostly stopped drinking it because it ruins my sleep.

[Anonymous]

If you met my friend's (adopted) son with FAS and saw the effects it has on her family you'd grow up and stop drinking. Selfish cow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you met my friend's (adopted) son with FAS and saw the effects it has on her family you'd grow up and stop drinking. Selfish cow.

Honestly, +1. FAS is heartbreaking (and, very often, family-breaking)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, IF you choose to engage in the occasional drink during pregnancy (...and I agree you referring to it as "still drinking" is a red flag), you unequivocally should not be drinking enough that you feel its effects, at all. So your purported excuse of using it to self-medicate for anxiety is concerning for multiple reasons.

Agree your husband's attitude sounds seriously worrisome. And I don't think your approach to drinking sounds healthy or normal, either. Fwiw I will have the occasional small drink here and there, although I personally wouldn't do it until the second tri.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

They'll draw your blood post delivery, and if they find alcohol in you or the baby the hospital social worker will pay you a visit and determine if it warrants investigation. Fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They'll draw your blood post delivery, and if they find alcohol in you or the baby the hospital social worker will pay you a visit and determine if it warrants investigation. Fact.

I didn’t drink during any of my pregnancies but I also know this is a lie. Nobody took my blood post-delivery.

[Anonymous]

I’ll have a sip of DH’s beer/wine, especially if he’s trying something new. Otherwise just waiting and stashed away my favorite pumpkin beer for after I give birth in December! It’s funny because this is my second pregnancy and in some ways I’m more stressed than my first, but also more tired. Although I don’t think an occasional drink is a big deal, it would probably put me straight to sleep and maybe that’s why I don’t feel the need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They'll draw your blood post delivery, and if they find alcohol in you or the baby the hospital social worker will pay you a visit and determine if it warrants investigation. Fact.

I didn’t drink during any of my pregnancies but I also know this is a lie. Nobody took my blood post-delivery.

Also who on earth drinks during labor? The hospital would only let me have ice chips and before I got the epidural I was so nauseous I never would have been able to keep anything down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't be that concerned about you having a drink occasionally if you said you just wanted to have a few sips of wine when you go out with your friends once a month or something. It's not recommended and not something I would do, but I don't think it's a major red flag.

What concerns me is that you say you do it because you're high-strung and stressed. That's not a reason to drink -- that sounds like someone "self medicating" with alcohol. If you're stressed to a level you can't handle, then you should go talk to a therapist or your OB and see about anxiety meds. They are safe to use during pregnancy if you use the right ones (safer than alcohol), and they can help you with this feeling. What you're describing sounds like a really unhealthy relationship with alcohol -- both for you and your DH. I would seriously look at whether there is alcoholism involved for both of you.

+1. Something just seems really off here.