Afraid to be a "mom"

[Anonymous]

Have kids or don't, either way you are not cool anymore. Time to grow up.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you're uncomfortable with any change. You're going to get old regardless, and your identity will be challenged as you hit middle age/ menopause and step into a caretaking role for your parents, retire, face health issues, etc. Younger people will think you're boring, unhip, and frumpy whether you do or don't have kids.

True but it's not anymore reason to have kids. I'm a CBFC woman.

WTF is that?

I think this person mangled "Child free by choice" maybe?

OP, I think you may have posted this for trolling purposes, but honestly as a mom I don't find this upsetting I just feel sorry for you. Like everyone else said, you're going to get old regardless. Some of the most accomplished and put together women I know are moms and I know some non moms that are total frumps. I personally wear a size 4 and get compliments on my clothes at work pretty frequently, so I feel like I'm doing alright. And of course I have this delightful little child, so there is that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

Don’t have children. I mean this, OP. Losing your cool quotient is the least of the things you are going to lose.

[Anonymous]

Also OP, I highly, HIGHLY doubt that you are as chic and put together as you think.

[Anonymous]

So moms are all frumpy and childless women are all stylish? Where do you live op? And where are all these childless put together 35 year olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt this way too but 1) you don’t look back after your kid is like 3-4 yrs old and 2) honestly you’re already old and uncool being 40 and childless doesn’t make you young or cool you’re just old.

True story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

Don’t have children. I mean this, OP. Losing your cool quotient is the least of the things you are going to lose.

Plus a million.

Op, you’re way too shallow to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

Then don’t have kids, OP. It’s pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

"the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman"? really, op??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

Why do you look at yourself as part of a group rather than as a dynamic and full individual?

Do you look upon your mother so unfavorably? Do you have a positive relationship with her?

I don't think you are mom material. And that's totally ok. Many wonderful people are purposefully childless.

[Anonymous]

The food news is u will be so impossibly tired and/or dealing with it high needs kids that I won't have e much time to care. Or are anyone who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

I understand what you’re going through, OP. I struggle with this too. What’s helped me is:

1. Realizing that all those young, hip 20-somethings that are so “cool”- they are actually jealous of me. I remember when I was in my 20s, all that my friends and I ever wanted was marriage and children. When I’m out with my family I see young women stare longingly at us. We all tend to romanticize what we want but don’t have; I want to be young and hot again, but many young, hot women want to be frumpy moms.

2. The only people who really value young, cool women are young guys and a handful of creepy older men. I’m not really interested in what those demographics think of me. I know people say men like young women because they are fertile, but I don’t know any men over the age of 29/30 that want a young women. They recognize it’s way too much drama.

3. The most popular porn in the US is MILF porn. ‘Nuff said.

[Anonymous]

I'm the above poster. That is 'good news'(not food news)

[Anonymous]

You sound way too self involved to procreate.