Afraid to be a "mom"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's with all this assuming you can't be skinny after having kids? I have 3, I am 5'7, and I weigh 117 lbs. I don't even work out that much, just walk 5 miles a couple times a week.

I wear make up, form fitting clothing, and I get my hair done every 2 weeks.

Yet I also have 3 kids who are the light of my life.

Not all moms are over weight???

Agree! I'm a mom and my body is fantastic - ditto for many (many) of my friends. It's more about whether you take care of yourself or not...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with all this assuming you can't be skinny after having kids? I have 3, I am 5'7, and I weigh 117 lbs. I don't even work out that much, just walk 5 miles a couple times a week.

I wear make up, form fitting clothing, and I get my hair done every 2 weeks.

Yet I also have 3 kids who are the light of my life.

Not all moms are over weight???

Agree! I'm a mom and my body is fantastic - ditto for many (many) of my friends. It's more about whether you take care of yourself or not...

about a half of working victoria's secret models are moms.

as several people pointed out, OP simply assumes that when a woman is overweight and poorly dressed she is a mom, and vice versa. perhaps there is some correlation but it's nowhere as strong as OP assumes it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with all this assuming you can't be skinny after having kids? I have 3, I am 5'7, and I weigh 117 lbs. I don't even work out that much, just walk 5 miles a couple times a week.

I wear make up, form fitting clothing, and I get my hair done every 2 weeks.

Yet I also have 3 kids who are the light of my life.

Not all moms are over weight???

Agree! I'm a mom and my body is fantastic - ditto for many (many) of my friends. It's more about whether you take care of yourself or not...

about a half of working victoria's secret models are moms.

as several people pointed out, OP simply assumes that when a woman is overweight and poorly dressed she is a mom, and vice versa. perhaps there is some correlation but it's nowhere as strong as OP assumes it is.

Right! OP, do you think you are hotter than Giselle Bunchen and the rest of the victorias secret model moms? Or Blake Lively? Or Beyonce? Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with all this assuming you can't be skinny after having kids? I have 3, I am 5'7, and I weigh 117 lbs. I don't even work out that much, just walk 5 miles a couple times a week.

I wear make up, form fitting clothing, and I get my hair done every 2 weeks.

Yet I also have 3 kids who are the light of my life.

Not all moms are over weight???

Agree! I'm a mom and my body is fantastic - ditto for many (many) of my friends. It's more about whether you take care of yourself or not...

about a half of working victoria's secret models are moms.

as several people pointed out, OP simply assumes that when a woman is overweight and poorly dressed she is a mom, and vice versa. perhaps there is some correlation but it's nowhere as strong as OP assumes it is.

Right! OP, do you think you are hotter than Giselle Bunchen and the rest of the victorias secret model moms? Or Blake Lively? Or Beyonce? Seriously.

a majority of A list actresses are moms too... from audrey hepburn, briget bardot to gwyneth paltrow, angelina jolie etc. rachel weiz had her second child at 48!

jennifer aniston isn't and for the past 10 she had to fight against the rumor that brad pitt left her because she didn't want to have children at the time and that she couldn't find a man in time to get pregnant. similar for cameron diaz. at no point did either of them come to say that they didn't want children, much less because they wanted to remain cool. even if true, that would be devastating for their reputations. i an]m not saying that this is fair or appropriate, just pointing out that even widely attractive and successful women are assumed to have remained childless involuntarily.

[Anonymous]

LOL. Cut to you, alone at 50, thinking you’re still cool and trying to drum up happy hours with your 20s/30s coworkers who have one drink with you, then text about where to meet up after they ditch you.

[Anonymous]

OP, life is going to force you into groups that don’t have “positive associations”, if it hasn’t already. You’ll be old, you will have disabilities (temporary or permanent), you’ll handle those things with more or less grace.

If you want the experience of parenting, no one will force it on you; you have to choose it. But don’t imagine that you are saving yourself from being in a group with negative connotations “as far as being a woman goes” by choosing not to parent. You aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I felt this way too but 1) you don’t look back after your kid is like 3-4 yrs old and 2) honestly you’re already old and uncool being 40 and childless doesn’t make you young or cool you’re just old.

OP here. This is true. But the childless older women I know seem to have managed to retain a sense of cool or sophistication. They do not have the mom cuts or unflattering suits or stressed out harried look about them. They're composed, stylish and have many interests...I think being a mother takes that away from you...or so it appears from the outside.

I am a mom (of middle schoolers no less!) and I am none of those things. But I only work very part time and spend the rest of the time taking care of myself (gym, hair/clothes) , attending cultural events, staying plugged in and, frankly, chilling out! I think it depends more how cool you were before you had kids. Most of the grumpy, boring moms were that way in their 20s, too!

lololol so basically marry someone rich and don't work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not mean to offend anyone. I was simply expressing my hesitance to become part of a social group that generally isn't perceived in the most flattering light when it comes to being a woman. Moms work so hard and yet seem to be so undervalued. Everything they do is "uncool" or "embarrassing." I think there's something about being a youngish, in-the-know childless woman where people treat you better. That's what I am afraid of losing.

Society views moms as sexless frumpy and lame. I do a hobby where I hang out with millennials a lot and it is shocking how they perceive older women and especially moms. Even very feminist young women fall prey to thinking about moms in this stereotypical way. As if women are stripped of any value or creativity or interest once they have kids. It’s ridiculous.

Err, what? Millennial checking in, who definitely does not think this.

Ok #notallmilennials

Also, a lot of millennials now are moms.
- a milennial mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's with all this assuming you can't be skinny after having kids? I have 3, I am 5'7, and I weigh 117 lbs. I don't even work out that much, just walk 5 miles a couple times a week.

I wear make up, form fitting clothing, and I get my hair done every 2 weeks.

Yet I also have 3 kids who are the light of my life.

Not all moms are over weight???

Agree! I'm a mom and my body is fantastic - ditto for many (many) of my friends. It's more about whether you take care of yourself or not...

about a half of working victoria's secret models are moms.

as several people pointed out, OP simply assumes that when a woman is overweight and poorly dressed she is a mom, and vice versa. perhaps there is some correlation but it's nowhere as strong as OP assumes it is.

It’s a pretty darn strong correlation.