Sleepovers-anyone else refuse to host or let their kids go to one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am more willing to host than I am to let my daughters attend. Sorry, I don't know those family members.

Why should they trust you when you don’t extend them the same courtesy? “Larla can come to our house, but no way am I sending Susie to your den of freaks and abusers!” I’m sure that goes over well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally for a kinder (and younger) or maybe a 1st grader you stay for the first, possibly the 2nd, play date so that you can see how the other parent is handling supervision, how the kids are getting along, the rooms your kid is playing in and whether or not your kid is being a good guest.

Once you feel comfortable with the other parent, you do drop offs. If the other parent is a friend you may hang around to chat - not because you have to for supervision purposes but because you want to hang out with your friend.

Sleepovers....have never been my fave thing, tbh. But we allowed them on occasion - our kids slept over at friends' houses and we allowed their friends to sleep over at our house. I never really relaxed when my kids were out of the house or they had friends over. But they loved them...

I could never understand the parents who want to do play dates every single weekend. That would wear me out. Plus, I would miss our family time together.

Parents either want to dump their kids on someone or have kids play with other kids so they don't have to play with them.

Since when is it a parents job to play with their kids/keep them entertained? I don’t like this whole paradigm shift. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally for a kinder (and younger) or maybe a 1st grader you stay for the first, possibly the 2nd, play date so that you can see how the other parent is handling supervision, how the kids are getting along, the rooms your kid is playing in and whether or not your kid is being a good guest.

Once you feel comfortable with the other parent, you do drop offs. If the other parent is a friend you may hang around to chat - not because you have to for supervision purposes but because you want to hang out with your friend.

Sleepovers....have never been my fave thing, tbh. But we allowed them on occasion - our kids slept over at friends' houses and we allowed their friends to sleep over at our house. I never really relaxed when my kids were out of the house or they had friends over. But they loved them...

I could never understand the parents who want to do play dates every single weekend. That would wear me out. Plus, I would miss our family time together.

Parents either want to dump their kids on someone or have kids play with other kids so they don't have to play with them.

Or maybe, parents just want their kids to...wait for it...have fun.

And sleepivers are lots of fun.

Sleepovers are fun for the kids. I wouldn't say that they are necessarily fun for the parents, though. They are work and you host them because you want the kids to have fun but I can not imagine this being an every weekend thing. Quarterly is about the most I can do.

Yes, quarterly is about all we can handle. Only with families we know well. But the kids do love them, wonderful as an occasional treat. I'll be a little more anxious about them when the kids are in MS and HS in terms off internet access, maturity differences, and so on.

[Anonymous]

I allow sleepovers with a small, select group of people. Most of them are people we have known for 20+ years. I don't do school friend sleepovers, and probably never will.

[Anonymous]

Sleepovers were a great way for me, as a child, to learn how other families worked, how people dealt with siblings (I was an only child), how to eat food I was unfamiliar with, how to be away from my parents and my own home, how to tough out feelings of homesickness, how to enjoy new things and how to say "no" to things I felt uncomfortable with, what to do when other people went to bed earlier than me (I packed books and frequently read after the other kid had fallen asleep) and, ultimately, that staying up as late as I wanted made me feel like crap the next day. All, I would argue, lessons that served me later on in life.
Hell yeah, I'm letting my child do sleepovers -- with families I know and with whom I feel comfortable. And, just like when I was a kid, I'll give her a lecture about what to do if she feels unsafe and wants to come home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally for a kinder (and younger) or maybe a 1st grader you stay for the first, possibly the 2nd, play date so that you can see how the other parent is handling supervision, how the kids are getting along, the rooms your kid is playing in and whether or not your kid is being a good guest.

Once you feel comfortable with the other parent, you do drop offs. If the other parent is a friend you may hang around to chat - not because you have to for supervision purposes but because you want to hang out with your friend.

Sleepovers....have never been my fave thing, tbh. But we allowed them on occasion - our kids slept over at friends' houses and we allowed their friends to sleep over at our house. I never really relaxed when my kids were out of the house or they had friends over. But they loved them...

I could never understand the parents who want to do play dates every single weekend. That would wear me out. Plus, I would miss our family time together.

Parents either want to dump their kids on someone or have kids play with other kids so they don't have to play with them.

Since when is it a parents job to play with their kids/keep them entertained? I don’t like this whole paradigm shift. At all.

I agree. I can’t relate at all to people who think children playing with other children is somehow lazy parenting because the parents are...what? Supposed to play w the kid all day all weekend long? Doesn’t your kid like playing with their friends? Didn’t you when you were little? My kid is 5 and still LOVES playing with us. But if we are playing and the neighbor knocks on the door and asks him to play he is out of there. No one’s dumping anyone on anyone. Socializing is good for kids.

[Anonymous]

There are so many socially awkward people in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am more willing to host than I am to let my daughters attend. Sorry, I don't know those family members.

Why should they trust you when you don’t extend them the same courtesy? “Larla can come to our house, but no way am I sending Susie to your den of freaks and abusers!” I’m sure that goes over well.

They don't have to. Sleepovers at my house aren't like a requirement for my happiness lol. If they want to protect their kid and keep her home, by all means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally for a kinder (and younger) or maybe a 1st grader you stay for the first, possibly the 2nd, play date so that you can see how the other parent is handling supervision, how the kids are getting along, the rooms your kid is playing in and whether or not your kid is being a good guest.

Once you feel comfortable with the other parent, you do drop offs. If the other parent is a friend you may hang around to chat - not because you have to for supervision purposes but because you want to hang out with your friend.

Sleepovers....have never been my fave thing, tbh. But we allowed them on occasion - our kids slept over at friends' houses and we allowed their friends to sleep over at our house. I never really relaxed when my kids were out of the house or they had friends over. But they loved them...

I could never understand the parents who want to do play dates every single weekend. That would wear me out. Plus, I would miss our family time together.

Parents either want to dump their kids on someone or have kids play with other kids so they don't have to play with them.

Since when is it a parents job to play with their kids/keep them entertained? I don’t like this whole paradigm shift. At all.

Seriously! Who the hell plays with their elementary kids? Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers were a great way for me, as a child, to learn how other families worked, how people dealt with siblings (I was an only child), how to eat food I was unfamiliar with, how to be away from my parents and my own home, how to tough out feelings of homesickness, how to enjoy new things and how to say "no" to things I felt uncomfortable with, what to do when other people went to bed earlier than me (I packed books and frequently read after the other kid had fallen asleep) and, ultimately, that staying up as late as I wanted made me feel like crap the next day. All, I would argue, lessons that served me later on in life.
Hell yeah, I'm letting my child do sleepovers -- with families I know and with whom I feel comfortable. And, just like when I was a kid, I'll give her a lecture about what to do if she feels unsafe and wants to come home.

I like all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers were a great way for me, as a child, to learn how other families worked, how people dealt with siblings (I was an only child), how to eat food I was unfamiliar with, how to be away from my parents and my own home, how to tough out feelings of homesickness, how to enjoy new things and how to say "no" to things I felt uncomfortable with, what to do when other people went to bed earlier than me (I packed books and frequently read after the other kid had fallen asleep) and, ultimately, that staying up as late as I wanted made me feel like crap the next day. All, I would argue, lessons that served me later on in life.
Hell yeah, I'm letting my child do sleepovers -- with families I know and with whom I feel comfortable. And, just like when I was a kid, I'll give her a lecture about what to do if she feels unsafe and wants to come home.

+1

To the parents who don't allow sleepovers, is that going to be the rule until your child is 18? Some of my happiest memories from high school are from sleepovers with a group of close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers were a great way for me, as a child, to learn how other families worked, how people dealt with siblings (I was an only child), how to eat food I was unfamiliar with, how to be away from my parents and my own home, how to tough out feelings of homesickness, how to enjoy new things and how to say "no" to things I felt uncomfortable with, what to do when other people went to bed earlier than me (I packed books and frequently read after the other kid had fallen asleep) and, ultimately, that staying up as late as I wanted made me feel like crap the next day. All, I would argue, lessons that served me later on in life.
Hell yeah, I'm letting my child do sleepovers -- with families I know and with whom I feel comfortable. And, just like when I was a kid, I'll give her a lecture about what to do if she feels unsafe and wants to come home.

+1

To the parents who don't allow sleepovers, is that going to be the rule until your child is 18? Some of my happiest memories from high school are from sleepovers with a group of close friends.

Op here. No. Once they get to high school I think it's fine. I have 2 boys so I doubt it will be a regular thing like it might be with girls. I don't think it's as big of a deal in high school when they are fully able to detect when things are unsafe/don't feel right and are not afraid to say something.

[Anonymous]

The parents who won’t let their kids go to a sleep over but will host ...why do you feel you should be trusted and not the other way round ? If your argument is you don’t know the members of the family why should others who don’t your family members trust them ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are mot a chill parent. No play dates without their parents? How old are the children?

I was thinking the same thing.

OP, you are NOT the chill parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents who won’t let their kids go to a sleep over but will host ...why do you feel you should be trusted and not the other way round ? If your argument is you don’t know the members of the family why should others who don’t your family members trust them ?

I'm really don't care if they do or not. Just saying, if my kids want to host one I am not opposed but they don't go to them yet. If a kid is invited to ours and declines I don't think twice about the why's and how's.