Sleepovers-anyone else refuse to host or let their kids go to one?

[Anonymous]

We haven't allowed our kids (ages 7 and 9) to go on sleepovers except at their cousins house. We have had kids of our very close friends over to spend the night because they had a very early event the following day.
We go on vacation with a couple of other families and they get to experience sleep overs some then.

[Anonymous]

My DH prosecutes sex offenders. He has seen a lot of cases of things happening at sleepovers, so we don't do them. I also have to say that I remember a friend's older brother coming and messing with me when I was sleeping at her house in HS. So I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally for a kinder (and younger) or maybe a 1st grader you stay for the first, possibly the 2nd, play date so that you can see how the other parent is handling supervision, how the kids are getting along, the rooms your kid is playing in and whether or not your kid is being a good guest.

Once you feel comfortable with the other parent, you do drop offs. If the other parent is a friend you may hang around to chat - not because you have to for supervision purposes but because you want to hang out with your friend.

Sleepovers....have never been my fave thing, tbh. But we allowed them on occasion - our kids slept over at friends' houses and we allowed their friends to sleep over at our house. I never really relaxed when my kids were out of the house or they had friends over. But they loved them...

I could never understand the parents who want to do play dates every single weekend. That would wear me out. Plus, I would miss our family time together.

Parents either want to dump their kids on someone or have kids play with other kids so they don't have to play with them.

Or maybe, parents just want their kids to...wait for it...have fun.

And sleepivers are lots of fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally for a kinder (and younger) or maybe a 1st grader you stay for the first, possibly the 2nd, play date so that you can see how the other parent is handling supervision, how the kids are getting along, the rooms your kid is playing in and whether or not your kid is being a good guest.

Once you feel comfortable with the other parent, you do drop offs. If the other parent is a friend you may hang around to chat - not because you have to for supervision purposes but because you want to hang out with your friend.

Sleepovers....have never been my fave thing, tbh. But we allowed them on occasion - our kids slept over at friends' houses and we allowed their friends to sleep over at our house. I never really relaxed when my kids were out of the house or they had friends over. But they loved them...

I could never understand the parents who want to do play dates every single weekend. That would wear me out. Plus, I would miss our family time together.

Parents either want to dump their kids on someone or have kids play with other kids so they don't have to play with them.

Or maybe, parents just want their kids to...wait for it...have fun.

And sleepivers are lots of fun.

Sleepovers are fun for the kids. I wouldn't say that they are necessarily fun for the parents, though. They are work and you host them because you want the kids to have fun but I can not imagine this being an every weekend thing. Quarterly is about the most I can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a delight. Very chill. No play dates without a parent?

Yeah, that's weird. I had a parent do that recently; our kids are in third grade! I had made pretty clear in the invite that it would be dropoff (I didn't even think it needed specifying at this age) and she came and she stayed. There was zero reason to -- the kids ran off and played and we didn't see them except when they came out for a snack. Yet I had to entertain this woman and make small talk for almost four hours, and I had planned to be getting stuff done while the kids played. It annoyed me so much.

[Anonymous]

I try to avoid sleepovers because my kids are so miserable the next day and sometimes for a few days after if they can’t catch up on sleep. My rule is you can go/host a sleepover but if you are whining, miserable, or not able to handle the lack of sleep then no more sleepovers for 4 months. My kids were finally able to manage this by middle school so they were given more opportunities at that point but I only had to deal with it quarterly in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH prosecutes sex offenders. He has seen a lot of cases of things happening at sleepovers, so we don't do them. I also have to say that I remember a friend's older brother coming and messing with me when I was sleeping at her house in HS. So I agree with this.

Exactly this. It takes one incident to change their lives forever. Why risk it?

[Anonymous]

My kids are older and I'm generally not a huge fan due to sleep deprivation. But of course, they do them. In fact my 13 year old has a friend sleeping over tonight. - It's definitely better than picking him up at someone's house late at night. When they are done occasionally, it is fine. I was more skeptical when they were younger and started out only doing them with people I knew and it developed gradually.

It's very good for for the middle school crew that is too young to go anywhere alone and wants to hang out for longer than a 2 hour playdate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH prosecutes sex offenders. He has seen a lot of cases of things happening at sleepovers, so we don't do them. I also have to say that I remember a friend's older brother coming and messing with me when I was sleeping at her house in HS. So I agree with this.

"Lots of things happening at sleepovers." Another person with a weak to non-existent understanding of statistics.

But hey, if it makes you feel safer..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am PARANOID about sleepovers. For these reasons:

1. Having someone else's kid getting hurt at my house. My kids have play dates but a parent always stays (because we are friends too) and I feel comfortable with that but I would never let another kid spend the night because it freaks me out. What if the kid has some kid of allergic reaction etc...

2. Lice. I mean a sleepover just seems like a great way to get/have it spread.

3. I always thought the whole concept was weird.

I am a pretty chill parent in most other ways but sleepovers are non negotiable. Anyone else?

"I am a pretty chill parent."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH prosecutes sex offenders. He has seen a lot of cases of things happening at sleepovers, so we don't do them. I also have to say that I remember a friend's older brother coming and messing with me when I was sleeping at her house in HS. So I agree with this.

+1 and this includes sleepovers at family member's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH prosecutes sex offenders. He has seen a lot of cases of things happening at sleepovers, so we don't do them. I also have to say that I remember a friend's older brother coming and messing with me when I was sleeping at her house in HS. So I agree with this.

+1 and this includes sleepovers at family member's.

Op here-yes I forgot to mention that this is our other concern. Mainly because at a sleepover you don't know if a "cousin" or "uncle" will be staying at their house too. Honestly there are just too many variables.

I honestly don't think a sleepover is that big of a deal. I had a couple when i was young and I had fun but it wasn't life shaping or anything.

[Anonymous]

I am more willing to host than I am to let my daughters attend. Sorry, I don't know those family members.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to ever allow sleepovers and that’s fine. But your son is 7.5 and I certainly hope you let him play at friends houses during the day without you being there. You said you like to socialize with parents during play dates but very soon he will make his own friends and you may not be friends with the parents. I’m surprised that hasn’t happened yet. I have a 7 yo and I don’t want to entertain her friends parents during play dates.

[Anonymous]

On the lice thing, learn how to lice comb and just do it the day after a sleepover. A few lice — not a big deal and you can be rid of them on a combing of two. It is when you do t realize your kid has it for a few weeks and it gets BAD that it is a real pain.