Tipping/Gratuity on Restaurant tab - FIL tipped 11-12%!

[Anonymous]

Former Philadelphia mayor John Street was locally infamous for going into restaurants with his large entourage, bullying his way to a table even if there was a long wait, running the waitstaff ragged, and tipping peanuts. Like the LeBron story, why would he DO that?? Shouldn't a politician be buying goodwill any way he could get it?

[Anonymous]

when i worked in a restaurant as a hostess, servers constantly requested not to be seated with:

black people
families with small children
senior citizens

the ones who made the most "no black people" demands were the black servers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had a wonderful multi-course dinner, excellent, attentive service at a nice restaurant - entrees $20-30, bottle of wine, etc. -with husband and inlaws. All around pleasant experience. But, I was kind of flabbergasted to see the miserly tip that FIL wrote in as we all left the table...I was really mortified, actually kind of shocked. I haven't said anything to husband (and probably won't) but I feel really bad for waitstaff (totally been there!). I kind of wish I didn't know. But, then I think it's better I do know FIL is stingy tipper. I don't ever want to go out to eat with FIL unless 1.) it's clear we are treating or 2.) it's a big enough party the restaurant automatically tabulates the gratuity. Thanks for allowing me to vent here!

OP, check your math.
Did you calculate the 12% tip based on AFTER TAX amount ? It maybe closer to 15% BEFORE TAX depending on the tax rate. I think DC is around 10%.

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself OP. The dinner was a TREAT to you and your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have been following this forum for three months and always some one raises their ugly head and make their bigotry known. If it is not the Jews, its the Blacks, if it is not the Blacks it is the Catholics, if not the Catholics the Latinos. Oh, and how could I forget about the "two many Asians" in the school. When I became a parent, this group was recommended to obtain some supposed valuable inforation, NOT. It is full of angry, bitter women who feel empowered when denigrating others. Yikes. WTF.

I agree all the way. I'm usually the only one calling people out for the generalizations and stereotypes about Black people. People on this board only get upset if they feel like you're slighting Jews. In those cases they are quick to bust out the bigot word. Nice to know I'm not the only one that notices how all the trash talking about Blacks is ok on here. Not enough of us on here to call people out on it though.
Also, I think it's hilarious that people would see me walk into a restaurant and ask not to have me seated in their section. My friends constantly tell me I'm crazy for the amount I tip. I tip 20% at a minimum. I don't really care what the service is like (unless it was horrific, which doesn't ever happen). Those servers can generalize themselves out of a big tip. And the ones that would jump to serve someone like OP's family will feel like idiots when they get that small tip. But they would still jump to serve them next time. Funny how receiving a big tip from a Black person or a small tip from non-blacks wouldn't stop someone from believing these stupid generalizations.

[Anonymous]

The average person who CHOOSES to go to a restaurant probably doesn't realize that servers are paid less then minimum wage with the assumption that tips make up the difference. Servers are then legally required to declare a certain percentage of their food (and alcohol sales) and are taxed on that declaration. A 15% tip would be considered on the low side and I'm talking twenty years ago. Also, servers are often penalized for things beyond their control (food not cooked properly, long wait for a table, large parties dividing a check, etc.). Bad service should not be rewarded but people have to recognize that when they choose to dine in a restaurant, the tip is really part of the bill. And, again, when I waitressed twenty years ago for a ten year period, my experience was that black people tipped very low or not at all, and Europeans did the same. As servers, we did acknowledge the fact the most Europeans were used to the tip being built into the bill(which doesn't make it excusable)and as for black people I have no idea. This is not a racist statement, just an observation made over a very long period of time. I think the PP who stated that even black servers didn't want to wait on black people shows this. I've since been out to dinner with bad tippers and I have to admit, because of my past experience, I was VERY embarrased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The average person who CHOOSES to go to a restaurant probably doesn't realize that servers are paid less then minimum wage with the assumption that tips make up the difference. Servers are then legally required to declare a certain percentage of their food (and alcohol sales) and are taxed on that declaration. A 15% tip would be considered on the low side and I'm talking twenty years ago. Also, servers are often penalized for things beyond their control (food not cooked properly, long wait for a table, large parties dividing a check, etc.). Bad service should not be rewarded but people have to recognize that when they choose to dine in a restaurant, the tip is really part of the bill. And, again, when I waitressed twenty years ago for a ten year period, my experience was that black people tipped very low or not at all, and Europeans did the same. As servers, we did acknowledge the fact the most Europeans were used to the tip being built into the bill(which doesn't make it excusable)and as for black people I have no idea. This is not a racist statement, just an observation made over a very long period of time. I think the PP who stated that even black servers didn't want to wait on black people shows this. I've since been out to dinner with bad tippers and I have to admit, because of my past experience, I was VERY embarrased.

So the bad tippers you went out to dinner with were black as well? Because otherwise they wouldn't tip badly right? I've been out with Asian, White, and Hispanic friends that tip badly, but for some reason it didn't become my "observation" that everyone that is Asian, White or Hispanic tips badly. Just those particular people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as for me, I don't belive EVERY study I read but I consider the source and check out the methodology. And if I am making generalizations, I will try to be clear that it is based on my personal observations. Not really a big deal.

I'm more interested in the WHY than the WHAT. Find it interesting. I read in the Post about about a server who waited on LeBron James a year or two back at some nice restaurant in DC. Check was crazy high, in the thousands, and I think he left $100 - which was less than 3%. Taking race completely out of the equation, why would he do that? Did he not know any better? Obviously the money wasnt a factor. Could LeBron be the OP's father in law?

Yeah, and I read most recently that actress Jane Adams first skipped out on her bill. Later, after the waiter twitted about her skipping out, her manager returned to the restaurant and paid the bill minus any tip. So, I guess by your definition Jane Adams is representative of the quintessential white female, bill skipper. As I have true girlfriends who are White, I know this not to be true.

Many years ago, it was reported that Tom Cruise and his then entourage left a ten dollar tip on a two-hundred dollar tab. Is he your poster child for what is representative of what all white men would do.

If you want to justify your racist stereotypical beliefs, you can find any example to help you believe what you choose to believe.
Detria

[Anonymous]

my grandmother is a terrible tipper. she's also 80. and i don't think she has any idea.

when we've been out, i either excuse myself to the bathroom and find the waitress afterward, or "forget" something at the table to go back and drop an extra $5 or $10 or whatever is needed to make it right.

[Anonymous]

No, I've been with a few people who tipped poorly that didn't fit into the above catagories. However, when you waitress for many years in a row and a certain group of people almost exclusively tip badly, you come to some unpleasant conclusions. Whether you like it or not, the truth and 'pretty' don't always make compatible bedfellows. It is what it is. The fact that you are the one in a hundred doesn't change that-sorry.

[Anonymous]

NP here, and I agree that 20% is definitely not "correct: or the "standard." I have no problem tipping 20% (pre-tax) for outstanding service, but my regular tip for regular service is 15%, 10% for poor service. I agree with the PP who said that one shouldn't penalize the waiter/waitress for things outside his/her control. In those cases, I would usually say something to the manager instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The average person who CHOOSES to go to a restaurant probably doesn't realize that servers are paid less then minimum wage with the assumption that tips make up the difference. Servers are then legally required to declare a certain percentage of their food (and alcohol sales) and are taxed on that declaration. A 15% tip would be considered on the low side and I'm talking twenty years ago. Also, servers are often penalized for things beyond their control (food not cooked properly, long wait for a table, large parties dividing a check, etc.). Bad service should not be rewarded but people have to recognize that when they choose to dine in a restaurant, the tip is really part of the bill. And, again, when I waitressed twenty years ago for a ten year period, my experience was that black people tipped very low or not at all, and Europeans did the same. As servers, we did acknowledge the fact the most Europeans were used to the tip being built into the bill(which doesn't make it excusable)and as for black people I have no idea. This is not a racist statement, just an observation made over a very long period of time. I think the PP who stated that even black servers didn't want to wait on black people shows this. I've since been out to dinner with bad tippers and I have to admit, because of my past experience, I was VERY embarrased.

Wow. I am speechless.

I'm just wondering if you kept a little list of all the African Americans who entered your restaurant and how much they tipped? Or maybe you're just very ignorant and made huge sweeping generalizations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well I suppose that inspite of the boxes checked as Black/African-American, I must be a White person. Oh Dear, I guess I had better conform to the master's stereotypes and stop tipping the way I do (15-20% after tax). This DCUrban Moms forum contains a hateful, hateful group of people. I have been following this forum for three months and always some one raises their ugly head and make their bigotry known. If it is not the Jews, its the Blacks, if it is not the Blacks it is the Catholics, if not the Catholics the Latinos. Oh, and how could I forget about the "two many Asians" in the school. When I became a parent, this group was recommended to obtain some supposed valuable inforation, NOT. It is full of angry, bitter women who feel empowered when denigrating others. Yikes. WTF.

I'm veering wildly off-topic here, but I really think you misunderstand this forum. It's not that there are lots and lots of hateful people here. It's just an incredibly honest group, expressing things that I think are prevalent throughout society. True, it's not always great to see the masks (and gloves) totally off, but I'd rather know than be deluded. I also find it comforting that most people I interact with in "real life" are able to hide the parts of themselves they show here. I like it here because I see, with some glaring exceptions, honest exchanges, not prettied up for social acceptability.

I much prefer the open and honest racist, sexist, anti-semetic, blah, blah blah individual. At least I know the type of individual I am dealing. I cprefer to see the knife coming, instead of feeling the thrust of the knife plunged and twisted in my back. This forum is made up of cowards however, and I understand why everyone wants to remain anonymous.

Detria

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my grandmother is a terrible tipper. she's also 80. and i don't think she has any idea.

when we've been out, i either excuse myself to the bathroom and find the waitress afterward, or "forget" something at the table to go back and drop an extra $5 or $10 or whatever is needed to make it right.

why is your 80 yo grandmother paying when you go out to dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my grandmother is a terrible tipper. she's also 80. and i don't think she has any idea.

when we've been out, i either excuse myself to the bathroom and find the waitress afterward, or "forget" something at the table to go back and drop an extra $5 or $10 or whatever is needed to make it right.

why is your 80 yo grandmother paying when you go out to dinner?

Not pp, but why not? If she has the money for it...why not?