Drama with my neighbor due to her obvious interest in my husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust your instincts. Divorced woman who is way too friendly with your husband and actively asks about him, seeks him out, and offers him rides in the mornings isn't a good sign.

Just tell her this and get it over with. Perhaps she just doesn’t understand boundaries.
Really though it would be a way worse sign if this was going on behind your back. I think that she’s harmless. Harmless and lonely.

Lonely, yes. Probably harmless. But i think you should trust your gut and keep an eye on her. But I wouldn't stop being her friend if I otherwise liked her. And I wouldn't be outright rude like you were at the park. A woman (friend of a friend) I got to know behaved like this with my husband. I was an idiot. While I noticed it, and I didn't like it, I ignored her behavior and told myself to get over it. Years later, my husband told me she did try to put the moves on him one night at our own house after I went to bed (big party, only 3 or 4 guests left when I turned in). I should have confronted her her previously, when I saw what she was doing.

It was very much like you describe, op: always asking about him in a way that was just disconcerting, like I'd say hi to her, and she'd respond "is Larlo here?" She mentioned a group beach vacation with our mutual friends. I told her we were already invited, but declined due to my work schedule. She said "Oh that's too bad. Larlo could go, though, right? It's just a couple days, you'd be working anyway, you wouldn't miss him."

Ugh. Op, just tell her she's being inappropriate. If she truly didn't realize it, she'd back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound immature. So my response is if your bedroom game is on point, you have nothing to worry about. If nothing I time to up your game. Make live to prevent war/divorce.

I hate people that think like this. A man can have a perfect wife that gives it up daily and still cheat.

If she's -giving it up- I propose that she isn't actually into it. Starfish sex.

[Anonymous]

None of my female friends ever asks where my husband is.

That’s weird.

Hey Mrs. Larla. Blah blah blargh. Chit chat. Ho hum. Oh, where’s Mr. Larlo?

And the driving him to work thing? Why? Was his car broken down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. This is weird. OP should trust her instincts

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. This is weird. OP should trust her instincts

+1

+2

Even if you are not worried about your DH, OP - keep her at arm's length. Even married women think they are "trading up" when another man pays any attention. Truth is, your DH could be the worst DH in the world, but women like this have blinders on - she could be trying to get out of a really bad home situation, and to her, your DH (or any man who looks her way, for that matter) might be the answer. No one knows what really goes on behind closed doors - this applies to both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound immature. So my response is if your bedroom game is on point, you have nothing to worry about. If nothing I time to up your game. Make live to prevent war/divorce.

I hate people that think like this. A man can have a perfect wife that gives it up daily and still cheat.

If she's -giving it up- I propose that she isn't actually into it. Starfish sex.

Again. Op is not the one getting a divorce nor is she the one overly interested in someone else's husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust your instincts. Divorced woman who is way too friendly with your husband and actively asks about him, seeks him out, and offers him rides in the mornings isn't a good sign.

Just tell her this and get it over with. Perhaps she just doesn’t understand boundaries.
Really though it would be a way worse sign if this was going on behind your back. I think that she’s harmless. Harmless and lonely.

Lonely, yes. Probably harmless. But i think you should trust your gut and keep an eye on her. But I wouldn't stop being her friend if I otherwise liked her. And I wouldn't be outright rude like you were at the park. A woman (friend of a friend) I got to know behaved like this with my husband. I was an idiot. While I noticed it, and I didn't like it, I ignored her behavior and told myself to get over it. Years later, my husband told me she did try to put the moves on him one night at our own house after I went to bed (big party, only 3 or 4 guests left when I turned in). I should have confronted her her previously, when I saw what she was doing.

It was very much like you describe, op: always asking about him in a way that was just disconcerting, like I'd say hi to her, and she'd respond "is Larlo here?" She mentioned a group beach vacation with our mutual friends. I told her we were already invited, but declined due to my work schedule. She said "Oh that's too bad. Larlo could go, though, right? It's just a couple days, you'd be working anyway, you wouldn't miss him."

Ugh. Op, just tell her she's being inappropriate. If she truly didn't realize it, she'd back off.

Yep - this is what she's up to and boy is it obvious and desperate of her. It's o.k. to be a little rude to her actually because she isn't being nice and respectful to you and your marriage. She isn't your "friend", Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. This is weird. OP should trust her instincts

+1

+2

Even if you are not worried about your DH, OP - keep her at arm's length. Even married women think they are "trading up" when another man pays any attention. Truth is, your DH could be the worst DH in the world, but women like this have blinders on - she could be trying to get out of a really bad home situation, and to her, your DH (or any man who looks her way, for that matter) might be the answer. No one knows what really goes on behind closed doors - this applies to both sides.

+3 She's trying to make her problem your problem.

[Anonymous]

I had a neighbor like that (a guy). I was clueless first until my husband pointed out that he is hitting on me. And then I start noticing that it is always him who bring a kid to our house and pick up from the play dates and sleep over. Then there were few more signs, including car rides. I occasionally take a bus to metro, mostly walk. He is driving to metro. He saw me once at the bus stop and gave me a ride. Then it happened twice more on the same week. I think he figured out which bus i am taking and began to leave the house at the same time (we leave few house down, not next door).

I just ignored him, stopped taking morning bus and tried not to stay anywhere along with him.

It is up to your husband to cut those advanced or to act on it. You know who you married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust your instincts. Divorced woman who is way too friendly with your husband and actively asks about him, seeks him out, and offers him rides in the mornings isn't a good sign.

Just tell her this and get it over with. Perhaps she just doesn’t understand boundaries.
Really though it would be a way worse sign if this was going on behind your back. I think that she’s harmless. Harmless and lonely.

Lonely, yes. Probably harmless. But i think you should trust your gut and keep an eye on her. But I wouldn't stop being her friend if I otherwise liked her. And I wouldn't be outright rude like you were at the park. A woman (friend of a friend) I got to know behaved like this with my husband. I was an idiot. While I noticed it, and I didn't like it, I ignored her behavior and told myself to get over it. Years later, my husband told me she did try to put the moves on him one night at our own house after I went to bed (big party, only 3 or 4 guests left when I turned in). I should have confronted her her previously, when I saw what she was doing.

It was very much like you describe, op: always asking about him in a way that was just disconcerting, like I'd say hi to her, and she'd respond "is Larlo here?" She mentioned a group beach vacation with our mutual friends. I told her we were already invited, but declined due to my work schedule. She said "Oh that's too bad. Larlo could go, though, right? It's just a couple days, you'd be working anyway, you wouldn't miss him."

Ugh. Op, just tell her she's being inappropriate. If she truly didn't realize it, she'd back off.

Before telling her she’s being inappropriate and escalating things into a more uncomfortable situation, could you make a joke about her interest in your husband, OP? Responding with humor would also show that you aren’t threatened and that your relationship with your husband is strong. Any suggestions from people on what a funny, light-hearted response could be that would also get the point across?

[Anonymous]

If she was after your husband, why was she so upset with you leaving in the park?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. This is weird. OP should trust her instincts

+1

+2

Even if you are not worried about your DH, OP - keep her at arm's length. Even married women think they are "trading up" when another man pays any attention. Truth is, your DH could be the worst DH in the world, but women like this have blinders on - she could be trying to get out of a really bad home situation, and to her, your DH (or any man who looks her way, for that matter) might be the answer. No one knows what really goes on behind closed doors - this applies to both sides.

+3 She's trying to make her problem your problem.

+4

BINGO.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound immature. So my response is if your bedroom game is on point, you have nothing to worry about. If nothing I time to up your game. Make live to prevent war/divorce.

I hate people that think like this. A man can have a perfect wife that gives it up daily and still cheat.

If she's -giving it up- I propose that she isn't actually into it. Starfish sex.

Again. Op is not the one getting a divorce nor is she the one overly interested in someone else's husband.

+1

You can tell which posters are on which side, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust your instincts. Divorced woman who is way too friendly with your husband and actively asks about him, seeks him out, and offers him rides in the mornings isn't a good sign.

Just tell her this and get it over with. Perhaps she just doesn’t understand boundaries.
Really though it would be a way worse sign if this was going on behind your back. I think that she’s harmless. Harmless and lonely.

Lonely, yes. Probably harmless. But i think you should trust your gut and keep an eye on her. But I wouldn't stop being her friend if I otherwise liked her. And I wouldn't be outright rude like you were at the park. A woman (friend of a friend) I got to know behaved like this with my husband. I was an idiot. While I noticed it, and I didn't like it, I ignored her behavior and told myself to get over it. Years later, my husband told me she did try to put the moves on him one night at our own house after I went to bed (big party, only 3 or 4 guests left when I turned in). I should have confronted her her previously, when I saw what she was doing.

It was very much like you describe, op: always asking about him in a way that was just disconcerting, like I'd say hi to her, and she'd respond "is Larlo here?" She mentioned a group beach vacation with our mutual friends. I told her we were already invited, but declined due to my work schedule. She said "Oh that's too bad. Larlo could go, though, right? It's just a couple days, you'd be working anyway, you wouldn't miss him."

Ugh. Op, just tell her she's being inappropriate. If she truly didn't realize it, she'd back off.

Yep - this is what she's up to and boy is it obvious and desperate of her. It's o.k. to be a little rude to her actually because she isn't being nice and respectful to you and your marriage. She isn't your "friend", Op.

+1

[Anonymous]

Trust your gut, op