Lonely and bored

[Anonymous]

^^ If he is really interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and I like all the candor in this thread. I think I narrowed down my problem to one of not really knowing what I want -- I like sex but am not willing to wait for The One (and am not keen on marriage, again) and yet, I want the companionship of one great guy, which doesn't happen when your profile is unambiguously inviting NSA sex.

So, I either have to deny my libido, or deny my heart/head, or hope that I fall into bed with the one that has it all -- which is sort of what an earlier poster said was the 20's MO.

I guess I need to get out more to do non-date stuff, which will be better for me anyway and give me more to talk about on dates.....if I ever have them again!!

Yes, I think many of us are in this situation. I think you are clear on what you want, but as a previous poster said, it seems much easier for men to meet many women who fit their criteria and not the same the other way round for us. I just had this play out recently as I mentioned before-met someone I really liked online for the first time ever but I guess had sex too soon (second date). I never ever do that but it felt right on this one occasion because I felt he was different. With retrospect, I should have waited as I obviously got judged for that. Golf and sierra club are maybe the way to go!

"it seems much easier for men to meet many women who fit their criteria and not the same the other way round for us"

Women could try having less than 4,275 criteria for a man they want to date. Just sayin'

That aside, it isn't necessarily true that you had sex "too soon" and got judged for it. Could be any number of other things. Could be as simple as "he's not looking for an LTR, he just wants a series of ONS".

[Anonymous]

Probably that last one. Might be he’s looking for something specific in bed and she said nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and I like all the candor in this thread. I think I narrowed down my problem to one of not really knowing what I want -- I like sex but am not willing to wait for The One (and am not keen on marriage, again) and yet, I want the companionship of one great guy, which doesn't happen when your profile is unambiguously inviting NSA sex.

So, I either have to deny my libido, or deny my heart/head, or hope that I fall into bed with the one that has it all -- which is sort of what an earlier poster said was the 20's MO.

I guess I need to get out more to do non-date stuff, which will be better for me anyway and give me more to talk about on dates.....if I ever have them again!!

You should setup a dcum account. I would hangout with you and if you wanted more than so be it.
Just a thought.

But...you are anonymous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and I like all the candor in this thread. I think I narrowed down my problem to one of not really knowing what I want -- I like sex but am not willing to wait for The One (and am not keen on marriage, again) and yet, I want the companionship of one great guy, which doesn't happen when your profile is unambiguously inviting NSA sex.

So, I either have to deny my libido, or deny my heart/head, or hope that I fall into bed with the one that has it all -- which is sort of what an earlier poster said was the 20's MO.

I guess I need to get out more to do non-date stuff, which will be better for me anyway and give me more to talk about on dates.....if I ever have them again!!

So if I m reading correctly, what you are looking for is a good long term relationship to develop, but while that is happening, you do not want to live as a nun, but you don't want to lay down with anyone who comes along. You want to be attracted and have companionship while you figure out if this is good...

Yes, that's all true, probably....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it all about men? Because you can address “lonely and bored” in a lot of different ways if not.

Relationship forum: for people interested in relationships.

Well, I did set my profile to look at both men and women but in the end, I found I just am not that bicurious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it all about men? Because you can address “lonely and bored” in a lot of different ways if not.

Relationship forum: for people interested in relationships.

But it doesn't have to be monogamous ones, or long ones, or hetero ones. Why are people so certain they have the definitive definition for each forum? Color outside the lines a bit; it won't hurt!

[gentry]

You’re not asking for too much...you’ve just gotta message the right person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh, really? I have no trouble finding guys to go on casual dates and have sex with but that isn't what I want. I want a monogamous relationship. Instead I meet good looking interesting guys who want to take me out to nice places and then have sex within several dates but never commit. Sounds like that is what you want. I am 41 and never been married and don't have kids. Have been primarily dating divorced dads the past year and that is what I get. I'm ok looking but nothing spectacular.

I'm late 30s, and this has been my experience as well down here in Atlanta. This is the worst place for dating. Is DC any better?

Atlanta is a horrible city for women for dating. Most men are lazy and are uncultured. The women are beatutidul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The funny thing about dating...when we are in our teens and 20's, it is much easier for the girls. In the 30's, it is about the same. After forty, advantage man.

If I put up a profile on a dating site, I could have as much action as I can handle. (meaning, things do not rebound as fast as they used too). I could have a date that leads to action nearly every night.

There are two differences between me now (50's, divorced) and me back then (20's): money (I can afford to take someone out) and confidence (if she says no, no big deal, I can take the risk; back then, I was terrified of rejection).

I do not want to bed a different woman each night. I would rather meet one person and get to know her. I want someone who is confident in who she is, is financially independent (does not need my money), and is not crazy. She must be no drugs, no STD's, and no smoking. And she can not support the current administration. She has to be smart. My divorce was because my ex and I could not have a conversation. Oh, and if she has children, they have to come first. Similarly, my dd comes first.

I do not care about race or ethnicity.

And I do not do crazy.

I thought Weiner was in jail.

+1. This guy’s post on conversation is bizarre. It’s so sad he can’t see he has a major problem.

[Anonymous]

When we were dating, I thought we were talking about things, but it turns out, it was more me lecturing on the thoughts. Her world view is so different than mine. I think about the physical sciences. We met under Comet Hale Bopp. I would tell here were to look, etc. She seemed interested. We would talk about the dynamics of the atmosphere, until I realized her interest was more in the personalities at the Weather Channel. She is not capable of a real intellectual discussion. I know this sounds snobby, but I do not find (for example), the Royal Wedding the least bit interesting. She does. She does not find the eruption in Hawaii interesting: I do. I want to know why some people here Laurel and others hear Yanny. She thinks it is stupid.

The low quality of the recording makes it difficult to distinguish high from low pitched sounds. Older people, whose ability to hear higher frequencies degrades over time, tend to hear the word "Laurel", which is stronger in lower frequencies. Younger people tend to hear "Yanny", stronger at higher frequencies. The NYTs made a slider tool where you can change the pitch of the word, thus hearing one vs the other.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/05/16/upshot/audio-clip-yanny-laurel-debate.html

I would hang out with you!

- Single mom of DD who comes first, does not support current administration, is cute, isn't crazy, and likes to nerd out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The funny thing about dating...when we are in our teens and 20's, it is much easier for the girls. In the 30's, it is about the same. After forty, advantage man.

If I put up a profile on a dating site, I could have as much action as I can handle. (meaning, things do not rebound as fast as they used too). I could have a date that leads to action nearly every night.

There are two differences between me now (50's, divorced) and me back then (20's): money (I can afford to take someone out) and confidence (if she says no, no big deal, I can take the risk; back then, I was terrified of rejection).

I do not want to bed a different woman each night. I would rather meet one person and get to know her. I want someone who is confident in who she is, is financially independent (does not need my money), and is not crazy. She must be no drugs, no STD's, and no smoking. And she can not support the current administration. She has to be smart. My divorce was because my ex and I could not have a conversation. Oh, and if she has children, they have to come first. Similarly, my dd comes first.

I do not care about race or ethnicity.



And I do not do crazy.

Was your wife not fluent in English? Otherwise the fact that you divorced over communication is a red flag on you too.

You sound icky. So glad I am married.

[Anonymous]

Why does he sound icky? He wrote that next time he wants better communication and less crazy. Don’t pretend women have no regrets about who they married, the guy’s sanity, and the guy’s willingness to communicate.