Lonely and bored

[Anonymous]

Single, divorced mom. I don't want a monogamous relationship but I also don't want to hook up with sex addicts or guys I am not attracted to (either friends or from dating apps). I like doing stuff -- sex and not sex -- but I have no social life unless I plan everything and even then, the guy friends I have tend to back out. I'm not fat, ugly, needy, etc. I am just feeling lonely -- like when you moved to a new neighborhood as a kid and didn't have any friends yet. I'm on Tinder but for chrisssakes, half of the profiles seem like they are built for other men -- unless you want to bring them on a date, just crop out the fish/bro/bike, etc.

How do other women in my situation get a satisfying social life? Are you being less picky about looks? Contacting the guys who didn't write anything? Sleeping with the players or the in-town-on-business men? Did you sign up for sport clubs or join a running group?

[Anonymous]

Idk. I'm looking for sex, like a guy in my bed from whenever I go to sleep until after morning sex. Not sure how to find that either.

[Anonymous]

That would also be awesome, PP. It so hard to find the right guy, though. I'm thinking the in-town-on-biz guys. They won't be clingy, or even back

Lots on Tinder.

[Anonymous]

Huh, really? I have no trouble finding guys to go on casual dates and have sex with but that isn't what I want. I want a monogamous relationship. Instead I meet good looking interesting guys who want to take me out to nice places and then have sex within several dates but never commit. Sounds like that is what you want. I am 41 and never been married and don't have kids. Have been primarily dating divorced dads the past year and that is what I get. I'm ok looking but nothing spectacular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh, really? I have no trouble finding guys to go on casual dates and have sex with but that isn't what I want. I want a monogamous relationship. Instead I meet good looking interesting guys who want to take me out to nice places and then have sex within several dates but never commit. Sounds like that is what you want. I am 41 and never been married and don't have kids. Have been primarily dating divorced dads the past year and that is what I get. I'm ok looking but nothing spectacular.

I should add I am on okcupid.

[Anonymous]

You really have to keep going with the dating thing. I am in the same boat but i am tired of the online game.

[Anonymous]

Is your kid in the house when you do all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your kid in the house when you do all this?

Yes, they get to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your kid in the house when you do all this?

Yes, they get to watch.

Lol!

[Anonymous]

Guy here. The funny thing about dating...when we are in our teens and 20's, it is much easier for the girls. In the 30's, it is about the same. After forty, advantage man.

If I put up a profile on a dating site, I could have as much action as I can handle. (meaning, things do not rebound as fast as they used too). I could have a date that leads to action nearly every night.

There are two differences between me now (50's, divorced) and me back then (20's): money (I can afford to take someone out) and confidence (if she says no, no big deal, I can take the risk; back then, I was terrified of rejection).

I do not want to bed a different woman each night. I would rather meet one person and get to know her. I want someone who is confident in who she is, is financially independent (does not need my money), and is not crazy. She must be no drugs, no STD's, and no smoking. And she can not support the current administration. She has to be smart. My divorce was because my ex and I could not have a conversation. Oh, and if she has children, they have to come first. Similarly, my dd comes first.

I do not care about race or ethnicity.

And I do not do crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The funny thing about dating...when we are in our teens and 20's, it is much easier for the girls. In the 30's, it is about the same. After forty, advantage man.

If I put up a profile on a dating site, I could have as much action as I can handle. (meaning, things do not rebound as fast as they used too). I could have a date that leads to action nearly every night.

There are two differences between me now (50's, divorced) and me back then (20's): money (I can afford to take someone out) and confidence (if she says no, no big deal, I can take the risk; back then, I was terrified of rejection).

I do not want to bed a different woman each night. I would rather meet one person and get to know her. I want someone who is confident in who she is, is financially independent (does not need my money), and is not crazy. She must be no drugs, no STD's, and no smoking. And she can not support the current administration. She has to be smart. My divorce was because my ex and I could not have a conversation. Oh, and if she has children, they have to come first. Similarly, my dd comes first.

I do not care about race or ethnicity.

And I do not do crazy.

Curious. Why couldn't you have a conversation. Isn't that the basis of attraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. The funny thing about dating...when we are in our teens and 20's, it is much easier for the girls. In the 30's, it is about the same. After forty, advantage man.

If I put up a profile on a dating site, I could have as much action as I can handle. (meaning, things do not rebound as fast as they used too). I could have a date that leads to action nearly every night.

There are two differences between me now (50's, divorced) and me back then (20's): money (I can afford to take someone out) and confidence (if she says no, no big deal, I can take the risk; back then, I was terrified of rejection).

I do not want to bed a different woman each night. I would rather meet one person and get to know her. I want someone who is confident in who she is, is financially independent (does not need my money), and is not crazy. She must be no drugs, no STD's, and no smoking. And she can not support the current administration. She has to be smart. My divorce was because my ex and I could not have a conversation. Oh, and if she has children, they have to come first. Similarly, my dd comes first.

I do not care about race or ethnicity.

And I do not do crazy.

Curious. Why couldn't you have a conversation. Isn't that the basis of attraction.

When we were dating, I thought we were talking about things, but it turns out, it was more me lecturing on the thoughts. Her world view is so different than mine. I think about the physical sciences. We met under Comet Hale Bopp. I would tell here were to look, etc. She seemed interested. We would talk about the dynamics of the atmosphere, until I realized her interest was more in the personalities at the Weather Channel. She is not capable of a real intellectual discussion. I know this sounds snobby, but I do not find (for example), the Royal Wedding the least bit interesting. She does. She does not find the eruption in Hawaii interesting: I do. I want to know why some people here Laurel and others hear Yanny. She thinks it is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Curious. Why couldn't you have a conversation. Isn't that the basis of attraction

Sex is a prerequisite for a relationship. It’s also worth doing in and of itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh, really? I have no trouble finding guys to go on casual dates and have sex with but that isn't what I want. I want a monogamous relationship. Instead I meet good looking interesting guys who want to take me out to nice places and then have sex within several dates but never commit. Sounds like that is what you want. I am 41 and never been married and don't have kids. Have been primarily dating divorced dads the past year and that is what I get. I'm ok looking but nothing spectacular.

I'm late 30s, and this has been my experience as well down here in Atlanta. This is the worst place for dating. Is DC any better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh, really? I have no trouble finding guys to go on casual dates and have sex with but that isn't what I want. I want a monogamous relationship. Instead I meet good looking interesting guys who want to take me out to nice places and then have sex within several dates but never commit. Sounds like that is what you want. I am 41 and never been married and don't have kids. Have been primarily dating divorced dads the past year and that is what I get. I'm ok looking but nothing spectacular.

I'm late 30s, and this has been my experience as well down here in Atlanta. This is the worst place for dating. Is DC any better?

DC. Honestly, I was in a long term relationship for a while and just re entered the dating scene a couple years ago. Before I did not have this experience. I really think dating apps are making it easier for guys to be noncommittal and just sleep around. Women need to wise up and date men for longer and Ashli r exclusivity/commitment before sleeping with men. I used to sleep with men pretty early on in dating and it worked out, but now I think it's riskier so I hold out.