What college will make you be disappointed ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid at TJ. An academically successful kid in a school full of academically successful kids. I will be satisfied with a college that is a good fit for my particular child, both socially and academicly. If in April of next year, he has 2-3 colleges to choose from that he is excited about the possibility of attending and that have a good track record with things like undergrad research, internships and placement in PhD programs in his particular area of interest, I will be thrilled. And PhD feeder colleges are not always the ones people on DCUM must get their kid into. For my DC, being able to choose between Oberlin and Grinnell, his top 2, with some merit aid, and getting into WM, his in state match would be a great college result.

http://www.thecollegesolution.com/the-colleges-where-phds-get-their-start/

And BTW, a successful college process means different things to my different kids. DC1 wants a small LAC, small classes, interdisciplinary learning, strong physical sciences, good music program, TJ type nerdy social scene, no Greeks. DC2 wants a very strong engineering program, the ability to minimize humanities classes, a connection to NASA for college internships, and to stretch their wings a plane ride away. She is dreaming about Cal Tech. But on the,realistic side, looking at a couple UCs, UT Austin and UMD-CP, with the Goddard connection. Trying to put both of these kids into the same college would be ridiculous.

I will add that like a lot of NoVa, we hit the college donut hole. We can full pay in state, plus some. We cannot full pay most private schools. We will not qualify for financial aid. If one of my kids goes out of state, they will need some merit aid. And I am not allowing my kids or us to take out undergrad loans. I fully expect them to go on to grad school, where paying for the very best is more worthwhile. And I do not want grad school choices or career choices to be limited by large undergrad debt.

So maybe I just don’t get it. Because my kids cannot apply to the very top SLACs or Ivy’s because they are priced out. But I think focusing on the name that impresses people to put on the sticker on your car is silly. Look for the college where your specific kid will thrive socially and academically. And where they will have good reasearch, mentorship, internship, and ultimately grad school opportunities in their field. That is how I define successful in college admissions.

Is Penn a good match for your friends kid? Does she like the school and the type of kids who go there? Is she excited about attending? Is Penn strong in her DD’s academic area? If so, congrats— her daughter has successfully found a good college. If your friend is too shortsighted to see that, then that is not your fault.

Your kids sound awesome, and you have the right approach to selecting a college. I will just add that the most graduate programs offer funding. At least the ones worth going to do, so you shouldn’t need to take that into account for finances. Unless its professional degrees like med school or law school, that’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

I know people who went to UVA at Wise who have very good jobs and who are quite happy with where they are headed. Your friend needs to get over herself.

[Anonymous]

By the time your kid is midway through junior year, you should have a fairly good idea about what is attainable and what isn't.

Some part of me is certainly disappointed that my kid didn't turn out to be an elite student instead of just a very, very good one. But that is about me and not him.

So what would have disappointed me? If he didn't get into his preferred schools from the list of schools that matched his record and his aspirations.

Applying to Cornell would have been a waste of money, rather than a disappointment. Not getting into some very fine state flagships would have been the disappointment.

[Anonymous]

"DP - Your DD may be a Blair SMAC grad but that doesn't mean she knows well enough to issue such a blanket statement. As for you, you either don't know what STEM stands for (it is much more than writing only code!) or so blinded by your negative feelings about Asian-Americans that you think all they do is only write code and don't know how to write English."

The one issuing the blanket statement was the person claiming that a degree in Women's studies from Harvard was ALWAYS a bad idea.

They claimed a STEM path through community college was better. This is laughable and indicates that they value neither writing skills nor the other skills necessary to finish any degree at Harvard.

https://oue.fas.harvard.edu/distribution-requirement

I am sorry that you have gone through the persecution you must have gone through to be able to write your second sentence.

Thinking about it, I can see where my use of symmetry (writing English and writing code) might get you thinking that way.

Actually, my comment is living proof that having 20 years experience as a Principle Investigator in chemistry and biophysics and even knowing how to write about them is not enough to write about the difficult and personal subjects that you would learn to write about in a Women's Studies at Harvard.

As I sat here this morning trying to come up with a reply, it became even more obvious that learning how to communicate about subjects that provoke feelings is worthwhile for those who want to pursue it even if I never would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know women who went to Harvard and Yale who are SAHMs now, and women who went to state colleges who are CFOs and business owners and doctors. Where someone went to college is not everything.

Hope you aren't implying that SAHMs are failures. As a SAHM who went to Stanford, I would take offense. I use my education and experience every day to contribute to lives all around me. The CFOs and doctors are not more important or successful. Just a reminder...

Thank you.