What college will make you be disappointed ?
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Anonymous
Seems like every single person on this thread besides you and the dimwit first PP understood what OP was asking. If you can't figure it out, it's highly unlikely you are going to have anything useful to add to the thread. |
Anonymous
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Its not college that will make me disappointed. It is the major. I am an Asian-American parent of students who have gone through MCPS magnet programs. I would be satisfied with them beginning a STEM major in a community college and transferring to a state college, rather than a women's studies major from Harvard.
My kids need to have skills that will get them a job in the global market with a high barrier to entry. They are not Trust Fund babies. |
Anonymous
| Your friend is nuts. Penn is actually a better school than HYPS. |
Anonymous
Hope you aren't implying that SAHMs are failures. As a SAHM who went to Stanford, I would take offense. I use my education and experience every day to contribute to lives all around me. The CFOs and doctors are not more important or successful. Just a reminder... |
Anonymous
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I have a kid at TJ. An academically successful kid in a school full of academically successful kids. I will be satisfied with a college that is a good fit for my particular child, both socially and academicly. If in April of next year, he has 2-3 colleges to choose from that he is excited about the possibility of attending and that have a good track record with things like undergrad research, internships and placement in PhD programs in his particular area of interest, I will be thrilled. And PhD feeder colleges are not always the ones people on DCUM must get their kid into. For my DC, being able to choose between Oberlin and Grinnell, his top 2, with some merit aid, and getting into WM, his in state match would be a great college result.
http://www.thecollegesolution.com/the-colleges-where-phds-get-their-start/ And BTW, a successful college process means different things to my different kids. DC1 wants a small LAC, small classes, interdisciplinary learning, strong physical sciences, good music program, TJ type nerdy social scene, no Greeks. DC2 wants a very strong engineering program, the ability to minimize humanities classes, a connection to NASA for college internships, and to stretch their wings a plane ride away. She is dreaming about Cal Tech. But on the,realistic side, looking at a couple UCs, UT Austin and UMD-CP, with the Goddard connection. Trying to put both of these kids into the same college would be ridiculous. I will add that like a lot of NoVa, we hit the college donut hole. We can full pay in state, plus some. We cannot full pay most private schools. We will not qualify for financial aid. If one of my kids goes out of state, they will need some merit aid. And I am not allowing my kids or us to take out undergrad loans. I fully expect them to go on to grad school, where paying for the very best is more worthwhile. And I do not want grad school choices or career choices to be limited by large undergrad debt. So maybe I just don’t get it. Because my kids cannot apply to the very top SLACs or Ivy’s because they are priced out. But I think focusing on the name that impresses people to put on the sticker on your car is silly. Look for the college where your specific kid will thrive socially and academically. And where they will have good reasearch, mentorship, internship, and ultimately grad school opportunities in their field. That is how I define successful in college admissions. Is Penn a good match for your friends kid? Does she like the school and the type of kids who go there? Is she excited about attending? Is Penn strong in her DD’s academic area? If so, congrats— her daughter has successfully found a good college. If your friend is too shortsighted to see that, then that is not your fault. |
Anonymous
+1. Give it a rest. We all knew what PP talking about. There are some small grammatical glitches. It is not unreadable. You get to criticize OP when you can do better than she did in your second or third language. Go be a #MAGAtt somewhere else. OP has an interesting question. Let the rest of us discuss it. |
Anonymous
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"Its not college that will make me disappointed. It is the major. I am an Asian-American parent of students who have gone through MCPS magnet programs. I would be satisfied with them beginning a STEM major in a community college and transferring to a state college, rather than a women's studies major from Harvard.
My kids need to have skills that will get them a job in the global market with a high barrier to entry. They are not Trust Fund babies." As someone else said, you might want to consider the plan and not just the major. A women's studies major from Harvard, with maybe a secondary field of government, for students that want to go to Law School is a fine plan. My DD, a Blair SMAC grad, would tell you that a SMAC grad that can write English will get paid much more than one that can only write code. |
Anonymous
| Is your friend Korean? I’ve noticed an attachment to Harvard and “Harvard or bust” approach to colleges with the many Korean families I know. UPenn is a huge accomplishment and I would be delighted if DC went to UPenn. |
Anonymous
| Your friend should be happy with Penn. At least it wasn't Chicago. |
Anonymous
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OP - She's upset and blindly hitting out. Unfortunately after she calms down, she may be too embarrassed to reach out but she will need you. I would send her a note letting her know that your heart hurts too for her and her kid, not because you don't think Penn is a great school but because you know how hard disappointment can be. Let her know that you'll be there when she's ready.
Friends reaching out to acknowledge and commiserate with the feeling can be the most healing thing anyone can do. She is surrounded by people telling her that she's wrong to feel the way she does which just adds misery to misery. A year from now this will all be over when she sees how well her son is doing at Penn. But now is the time to be generous even though you did nothing wrong. Good friendships are too precious to throw away on who's right or wrong. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
Thank you for sharing all your caring, insightful, wise thoughts. I am happy since I felt it was the right place to ask this. Where should I get these all insightful advice? . It was time for me to look back my thought ,too. I thought I was humble my college admission however I noticed that I was still arrogant. I understood as a parent, we have to support and cheer up our kids at any chance. I didn't think of sending her daughter a card and a gift . I didn't think of showing my heart to her. I only concentrated my feeling that her feeling was too much. Thank you again all you Dc moms here. Even with a lot of grammatical and spelling errors, it is very appreciated to understand me. |
Anonymous
Op still 
Now I understand we all have our own timers. Some people need more time than others. My friend may be one of them who need more time to clam down. I will show her my heart and wait until she calms down. |
Anonymous
DP - Your DD may be a Blair SMAC grad but that doesn't mean she knows well enough to issue such a blanket statement. As for you, you either don't know what STEM stands for (it is much more than writing only code!) or so blinded by your negative feelings about Asian-Americans that you think all they do is only write code and don't know how to write English. |
Anonymous
| I think a lot of parents who are new to our system of higher education think you have to major in STEM or pre-med to go to med school. In this country if you take the required courses and do well on the entrance test (MCAT) you can go to medical school if you are a women's studies major. My kids friend is majoring in French and plans to go to medical school. |
Anonymous
| OP, your self reflection and openness to advice touched my heart to read. Thank you for showing us your heart. |