What college will make you be disappointed ?

[Anonymous]

I think this subject looks weird. However I am wondering.
I have 2 best friends whose DD are HS seniors now. As you know, all college admission results came out. One of my friends got satisfied results the other didn't. I understand her feeling so I deeply feel sorry ,too . She blamed everything including me ( the reason is I should advised her to apply less competitive major in HYPS, But I am not her consultant nor her advisor. I am a just one of her best friend.) I thought she was shocked with results so I tried to understand her feeling.
But it passes almost a month. She is still in the same mode. She disconnected me and other friends too.
At this point, I am asking to DC moms. If your DD is a very competitive student in competitive private high school, What colleges will you be satisfied?
Her DD is going to UPenn. Do you guys think it is too low to be satisfied ? I don't think so.
All students can't go to HYPS, but I guess she thinks her daughter has to go to HYPS as of right. Yes, Mine and the other friend's DD admitted HYPS . ( mine is a freshman now)
But If I were her, I absolutely would be satisfied with UPenn too. Does her reaction come out because of my DD and other friend's DD's results? What do you think?
Frankly speaking, I can't understand her. I think her reaction is too much.
Could you share your idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this subject looks weird. However I am wondering.
I have 2 best friends whose DD are HS seniors now. As you know, all college admission results came out. One of my friends got satisfied results the other didn't. I understand her feeling so I deeply feel sorry ,too . She blamed everything including me ( the reason is I should advised her to apply less competitive major in HYPS, But I am not her consultant nor her advisor. I am a just one of her best friend.) I thought she was shocked with results so I tried to understand her feeling.
But it passes almost a month. She is still in the same mode. She disconnected me and other friends too.
At this point, I am asking to DC moms. If your DD is a very competitive student in competitive private high school, What colleges will you be satisfied?
Her DD is going to UPenn. Do you guys think it is too low to be satisfied ? I don't think so.
All students can't go to HYPS, but I guess she thinks her daughter has to go to HYPS as of right. Yes, Mine and the other friend's DD admitted HYPS . ( mine is a freshman now)
But If I were her, I absolutely would be satisfied with UPenn too. Does her reaction come out because of my DD and other friend's DD's results? What do you think?
Frankly speaking, I can't understand her. I think her reaction is too much.

You are not a native English speaker? Or are you just completely insane?
Could you share your idea?

[Anonymous]

Im in my late 40s and know that everything happens for a reason. I remind my kids that there are kids that would KILL to go to community college and to leave the snotty attitude at the door. I also tell them my own educational experiences highs and lows. Like I failed the bar exam the first time and other disappointments. First choice is just that, first choice. But just like there isn't one soulmate out there thats the love of your life there isn't just one university that will make your dreams come true.

[Anonymous]

She’s crazy. Her poor daughter. I hope her dd is happy with UPenn. It’s a wonderful school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this subject looks weird. However I am wondering.
I have 2 best friends whose DD are HS seniors now. As you know, all college admission results came out. One of my friends got satisfied results the other didn't. I understand her feeling so I deeply feel sorry ,too . She blamed everything including me ( the reason is I should advised her to apply less competitive major in HYPS, But I am not her consultant nor her advisor. I am a just one of her best friend.) I thought she was shocked with results so I tried to understand her feeling.
But it passes almost a month. She is still in the same mode. She disconnected me and other friends too.
At this point, I am asking to DC moms. If your DD is a very competitive student in competitive private high school, What colleges will you be satisfied?
Her DD is going to UPenn. Do you guys think it is too low to be satisfied ? I don't think so.
All students can't go to HYPS, but I guess she thinks her daughter has to go to HYPS as of right. Yes, Mine and the other friend's DD admitted HYPS . ( mine is a freshman now)
But If I were her, I absolutely would be satisfied with UPenn too. Does her reaction come out because of my DD and other friend's DD's results? What do you think?
Frankly speaking, I can't understand her. I think her reaction is too much.

You are not a native English speaker? Or are you just completely insane?
Could you share your idea?

I am not a native English speaker. I am so serious. We have had a good relationship more than 10 years but it breaks after the results came out.
Her daughter is a very competitive student. But no one can guarantee the results. So I understand her feeling in the beginning. However times goes, it becomes worse.
Yesterday, I found her blocked me from her contact list too.
I feel it is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s crazy. Her poor daughter. I hope her dd is happy with UPenn. It’s a wonderful school.

Yes, her daughter is satisfied with her school . I heard this from the other friend's son. They attend the same high school.
I am so frustrated about the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I bet she felt like you had inside knowledge of how to get her kid into the same type of school since your kid got in and is a freshman there now (if I read that correctly). Even though you had nothing to do with the decision process, she feels like you let them down.

It's crazy but that's what I'm understanding from this.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend whose parents were pissed that she went to UPenn instead of HYPS. They were disappointed again when she went to a great but non-HYS law school. She has an awesome career in her early 30s. She's loved where she went to school and has no regrets there. She only regrets that her parents couldn't be happy for her and proud of her accomplishments. It still hurts and has harmed her relationship with her parents.

Your friend needs to get over herself.

[Anonymous]

Your English is just fine, OP. It's sure better than I could do in any other language.

Your friend is wrong to cut you off. Because you've had a good, long friendship I would give her the time and space to cool down.

I know women who went to Harvard and Yale who are SAHMs now, and women who went to state colleges who are CFOs and business owners and doctors. Where someone went to college is not everything.

[Anonymous]

Is she also not a native of the US? Is it possible she had only heard of HYPS, and so feels like UPenn is just one of the no-name schools?

I mean, I do understand: it always feels better to be the rejectee (either by not applying or not enrolling) than to be rejected. But, if her daughter is over it, she should be, too. Penn is a wonderful school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet she felt like you had inside knowledge of how to get her kid into the same type of school since your kid got in and is a freshman there now (if I read that correctly). Even though you had nothing to do with the decision process, she feels like you let them down.

It's crazy but that's what I'm understanding from this.

Well, I opened everything, I told her everything what I knew. One think I concerned is Her DD was very strong at science and math, wanted to apply pre med program. Her DD applied science major. She (my friend) told me her dd would apply science major. I said " She is very strong at science ,I think it is a good idea".
Shouldn't I mention this ? I am so frustrated. Should I wait until her feeling comes down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet she felt like you had inside knowledge of how to get her kid into the same type of school since your kid got in and is a freshman there now (if I read that correctly). Even though you had nothing to do with the decision process, she feels like you let them down.

It's crazy but that's what I'm understanding from this.

Well, I opened everything, I told her everything what I knew. One think I concerned is Her DD was very strong at science and math, wanted to apply pre med program. Her DD applied science major. She (my friend) told me her dd would apply science major. I said " She is very strong at science ,I think it is a good idea".
Shouldn't I mention this ? I am so frustrated. Should I wait until her feeling comes down?

You're not a guidance counselor! Of course you can say this and normal people will take it for exactly what it's worth: a friend agreeing with her friend about something.

She's mad at herself for somehow not better gaming the system. She probably thought there were steps that would guarantee a HYPS entry, and she's discovering that there's no such set of steps; some kids get in, and many, many very qualified kids do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im in my late 40s and know that everything happens for a reason. I remind my kids that there are kids that would KILL to go to community college and to leave the snotty attitude at the door. I also tell them my own educational experiences highs and lows. Like I failed the bar exam the first time and other disappointments. First choice is just that, first choice. But just like there isn't one soulmate out there thats the love of your life there isn't just one university that will make your dreams come true.

Thank you for sharing your idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet she felt like you had inside knowledge of how to get her kid into the same type of school since your kid got in and is a freshman there now (if I read that correctly). Even though you had nothing to do with the decision process, she feels like you let them down.

It's crazy but that's what I'm understanding from this.

Well, I opened everything, I told her everything what I knew. One think I concerned is Her DD was very strong at science and math, wanted to apply pre med program. Her DD applied science major. She (my friend) told me her dd would apply science major. I said " She is very strong at science ,I think it is a good idea".
Shouldn't I mention this ? I am so frustrated. Should I wait until her feeling comes down?

NO, do not apologize. For ANYTHING. Because you have done NOTHING wrong. This was not in your control. You are not the head of the admissions department. Wait until she calms down, and let her come to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet she felt like you had inside knowledge of how to get her kid into the same type of school since your kid got in and is a freshman there now (if I read that correctly). Even though you had nothing to do with the decision process, she feels like you let them down.

It's crazy but that's what I'm understanding from this.

Well, I opened everything, I told her everything what I knew. One think I concerned is Her DD was very strong at science and math, wanted to apply pre med program. Her DD applied science major. She (my friend) told me her dd would apply science major. I said " She is very strong at science ,I think it is a good idea".
Shouldn't I mention this ? I am so frustrated. Should I wait until her feeling comes down?

You apply to HYP overall, not to a science major. You don't apply to a premed program either. It sounds like neither you nor your friend really understand the admissions process (or you are a troll), but luckily your children did.