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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a kid at TJ. An academically successful kid in a school full of academically successful kids.  I will be satisfied with a college that is a good fit for my particular child, both socially and academicly. If in April of next year, he has 2-3 colleges to choose from that he is excited about the possibility of attending and that have a good track record with things like undergrad research, internships and placement in PhD programs in his particular area of interest, I will be thrilled.  And PhD feeder colleges are not always the ones people on DCUM must get their kid into.  For my DC, being able to choose between Oberlin and Grinnell, his top 2, with some merit aid, and getting into WM, his in state match would be a great college result.

http://www.thecollegesolution.com/the-colleges-where-phds-get-their-start/

And BTW, a successful college process means different things to my different kids.  DC1 wants a small LAC, small classes, interdisciplinary learning, strong physical sciences, good music program, TJ type nerdy social scene, no Greeks.  DC2 wants a very strong engineering program, the ability to minimize humanities classes, a connection to NASA for college internships, and to stretch their wings a plane ride away.  She is dreaming about Cal Tech. But on the,realistic side, looking at a couple UCs, UT Austin and UMD-CP, with the Goddard connection.   Trying to put both of these kids into the same college would be ridiculous.

I will add that like a lot of NoVa, we hit the college donut hole. We can full pay in state, plus some.  We cannot full pay most private schools.  We will not qualify for financial aid.   If one of my kids goes out of state, they will need some merit aid. And I am not allowing my kids or us to take out undergrad loans. I fully expect them to go on to grad school, where paying for the very best is more worthwhile.  And I do not want grad school choices or career choices to be limited by large undergrad debt.

So maybe I just don’t get it. Because my kids cannot apply to the very top SLACs or Ivy’s because they are priced out.   But I think focusing on the name that impresses people to put on the sticker on your car is silly. Look for the college where your specific kid will thrive socially and academically. And where they will have good reasearch, mentorship, internship, and ultimately grad school opportunities in their field.  That is how I define successful in college admissions.

Is Penn a good match for your friends kid?  Does she like the school and the type of kids who go there?  Is she excited about attending? Is Penn strong in her DD’s academic area?  If so, congrats— her daughter has successfully found a good college.  If your friend is too shortsighted to see that, then  that is not your fault.

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Your kids sound awesome, and you have the right approach to selecting a college. I will just add that the most graduate programs offer funding. At least the ones worth going to do, so you shouldn’t need to take that into account for finances. Unless its professional degrees like med school or law school, that’s a different story.[/quote]

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