I think we have been dropped from playgroup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since it is the spring break holidays, the mother who has a weekly playgroup one afternoon a week, switched to mornings, 10 to 12, even though she knows my DD naps at 11AM. The host mother texted me about the switch and I responded that we couldn't make it because of DD's nap and she just texted back that her daughter will miss my daughter. There are generally five to six kids, all around 2.5, who participate. I'd posted once before that I didn't think the host mother liked my DD (who is spirited and more active than the other kids including the boys). I guess I will wait to see if she moves playgroup back to the afternoons after this week but I really feel bad about this.

I’m curious what you’re actually feeling bad about - that your kid was grabbing toys and being annoying and generally not fitting with all the other kids and instead of addressing it yourself by finding a more suitable group of wilder kids, you evidently caused them enough stress and negative feelings for so long that you made them come up with an excuse to not have you attend anymore... or simply that your kid is missing host’s child as you said in a later post and you don’t know how to make her feel better. They’re really two different issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She totally moved it to that time to kick you out. How wonderfully passive aggressive of this woman!

Wow - you have definite issues, PP. There is nothing passive-aggressive about this mother's behavior. She changed the time of the playgroup that she hosts at her house for any number of reasons. If it is to get away from OP's kid - that is not passive aggressive, it is kind to OP. Passive but not aggressive. More like Passive Kind.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you send DD to daycare or camps over the summer? It could be a couple of times a week for a few hours, depending on what's available. You're acting like that playgroup is the only chance your child has to socialize. Get out and see what else is there. There is not point in clinging to company if you feel unwelcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since it is the spring break holidays, the mother who has a weekly playgroup one afternoon a week, switched to mornings, 10 to 12, even though she knows my DD naps at 11AM. The host mother texted me about the switch and I responded that we couldn't make it because of DD's nap and she just texted back that her daughter will miss my daughter. There are generally five to six kids, all around 2.5, who participate. I'd posted once before that I didn't think the host mother liked my DD (who is spirited and more active than the other kids including the boys). I guess I will wait to see if she moves playgroup back to the afternoons after this week but I really feel bad about this.

I’m curious what you’re actually feeling bad about - that your kid was grabbing toys and being annoying and generally not fitting with all the other kids and instead of addressing it yourself by finding a more suitable group of wilder kids, you evidently caused them enough stress and negative feelings for so long that you made them come up with an excuse to not have you attend anymore... or simply that your kid is missing host’s child as you said in a later post and you don’t know how to make her feel better. They’re really two different issues.

Both. And there is no more suitable group that I have ever found.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She totally moved it to that time to kick you out. How wonderfully passive aggressive of this woman!

Nobody is entitled to entry into someone else’s home, even if they weren’t grabbing toys from the homeowner’s child, etc. She gave her a chance, and even that wasn’t something OP was entitled to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you send DD to daycare or camps over the summer? It could be a couple of times a week for a few hours, depending on what's available. You're acting like that playgroup is the only chance your child has to socialize. Get out and see what else is there. There is not point in clinging to company if you feel unwelcome.

We cannot afford it right now and DD would do terribly. She cannot even sit though one 3 minute storytime in a gym class.

[Anonymous]

I can't see into the heart of this playgroup mom, but I have a child of a similar age, and an afternoon playgroup would be too difficult for us at this point due to nap time variability etc.

AM playgroup time makes way more sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She totally moved it to that time to kick you out. How wonderfully passive aggressive of this woman!

Nobody is entitled to entry into someone else’s home, even if they weren’t grabbing toys from the homeowner’s child, etc. She gave her a chance, and even that wasn’t something OP was entitled to.

Agree. OP, you are doing neither your DD nor yourself any favors by continuing your pity party. Find other ways to engage with kids. The weather is getting better so larger playgrounds will have many kids, lots of whom are "spirited" too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since it is the spring break holidays, the mother who has a weekly playgroup one afternoon a week, switched to mornings, 10 to 12, even though she knows my DD naps at 11AM. The host mother texted me about the switch and I responded that we couldn't make it because of DD's nap and she just texted back that her daughter will miss my daughter. There are generally five to six kids, all around 2.5, who participate. I'd posted once before that I didn't think the host mother liked my DD (who is spirited and more active than the other kids including the boys). I guess I will wait to see if she moves playgroup back to the afternoons after this week but I really feel bad about this.

I’m curious what you’re actually feeling bad about - that your kid was grabbing toys and being annoying and generally not fitting with all the other kids and instead of addressing it yourself by finding a more suitable group of wilder kids, you evidently caused them enough stress and negative feelings for so long that you made them come up with an excuse to not have you attend anymore... or simply that your kid is missing host’s child as you said in a later post and you don’t know how to make her feel better. They’re really two different issues.

Both. And there is no more suitable group that I have ever found.

You need to make a group yourself then. Have it in a park or even rent an indoor space once you have enough people. Call it playgroup for spirited children, no rules, kids are still learning (or whatever it is that you believe). It’s not something that I’d be interested in personally even with my very active 2.5 yo boy, since I’ve been teaching him to behave and expect good behavior to be modeled by the other children too, but there are tons of parents even on this board who would be happy to go somewhere their kids can run wild and not be judged. Specicially mention that ADHD is welcome and I really think you’ll have a packed group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your child would be better behaved at a morning playdate. You should try it out.

I agree with this. Maybe your child's behavior issues are because of the weird nap time combined with late afternoon crankiness that a lot of kids who don't get enough sleep have.

+2 consider this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you have an afternoon playgroup for 2.5 year olds? Aren’t they napping? Or was it very late afternoon? All of the playgroups we participated in were in the morning. I think that it makes sense to do what is best for the majority.

It used to be 3 to 5. Yeah, some of the kids came later due to naps but the host DD naps from 1 to 3 and was always up or just getting up when we arrived.

3 to 5 is a terrible time for playgroup. It's getting into dinner time, everyone is cranky.

+1. If this was a different time, I'd be more inclined to say she dropped you. But 3:00-5:00 is not a good time for 2.5 year olds. Mine naps 1:30-3:30, then is cranky for at least half an hour after waking up. 10:00-12:00 is just a better time.

[Anonymous]

Most county rec departments have low cost gymnastics, swim and other classes. Most 2 year olds nap in the PM and only one nap. You are unreasonable to expect a mid-day or PM if all the other kids nap in the PM. Host your own group.

[Anonymous]

The playgroup is ALWAYS at the host mother's house, and nobody ever takes turns hosting? Or only the OP doesn't host?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound difficult

+1

And you wonder why you were dropped...?

I renew er you from a previous post - Yes, I'm not surprised you were dropped and the change from afternoon to morning playgroup time was a win-win for all.

[Anonymous]

You're so self-pitying, OP. I say this in the nicest way, buck up, stop wallowing, and do something!

Doesn't matter if you have a condo. Clean up your living room and invite 2 other moms and their kids over one day. Maybe your daughter will act differently when it's her own house and her own toys. You are in charge of your own happiness, so if you want to be a part of a playgroup, make one