sick of my needy husband and kids

[Anonymous]

Before I left for work H told me he was planning his own trip later this week with his friends. He said he needed a break from me. He said I am intolerable to be around and I make him miserable. I told him welcome to my life and the feelings were mutual. I told him to have a wonderful time and to stay gone the rest of the month if he wanted. I smiled and walked away. I said earlier that my marriage probably won't last the summer. I don't think it will make it till the end of the week. I am giddy at the prospect of having him gone. I already planned to take the kids skiing this weekend. I was worried he might want to come. Now he will be gone doing his own thing!! What a lovely way to start off the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I left for work H told me he was planning his own trip later this week with his friends. He said he needed a break from me. He said I am intolerable to be around and I make him miserable. I told him welcome to my life and the feelings were mutual. I told him to have a wonderful time and to stay gone the rest of the month if he wanted. I smiled and walked away. I said earlier that my marriage probably won't last the summer. I don't think it will make it till the end of the week. I am giddy at the prospect of having him gone. I already planned to take the kids skiing this weekend. I was worried he might want to come. Now he will be gone doing his own thing!! What a lovely way to start off the week.

I am truly happy for you.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, and got divorced. The freedom is refreshing, provided you are self sufficient. And when you discipline the kids there is no one there to undermine it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I left for work H told me he was planning his own trip later this week with his friends. He said he needed a break from me. He said I am intolerable to be around and I make him miserable. I told him welcome to my life and the feelings were mutual. I told him to have a wonderful time and to stay gone the rest of the month if he wanted. I smiled and walked away. I said earlier that my marriage probably won't last the summer. I don't think it will make it till the end of the week. I am giddy at the prospect of having him gone. I already planned to take the kids skiing this weekend. I was worried he might want to come. Now he will be gone doing his own thing!! What a lovely way to start off the week.

I very much support the line you drew and getting your kids and husband to work around the house. But do you really want to throw away your marriage with this level of anger and spite? Marriage counseling, whether to fix your marriage or lead to a more peaceful divorce will be a gift to your kids. Divorce will not be pretty if you go into it with this much contempt for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

I am very annoying and now demanding. Slave driver. I am sure my husband and kids can come up with a few more adjectives. I also agree if my husband does not help out move I predict we will be divorced before the year is out. He has this summer when the kids are out of school to step up. If he does not he will be getting divorce papers. He does not know this yet but if we do end up divorcing the kids will be living with him 50% of the time.

OP, why in the world did you marry and have kids? You don't sound resentful about chores. You sound resentful of your family. I'm sorry your life came to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

I am very annoying and now demanding. Slave driver. I am sure my husband and kids can come up with a few more adjectives. I also agree if my husband does not help out move I predict we will be divorced before the year is out. He has this summer when the kids are out of school to step up. If he does not he will be getting divorce papers. He does not know this yet but if we do end up divorcing the kids will be living with him 50% of the time.

OP, why in the world did you marry and have kids? You don't sound resentful about chores. You sound resentful of your family. I'm sorry your life came to this.

Sounds like OP likes her kids just fine. Her husband, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

You've gone too far to the other extreme...not making dinner? C'mon op.
How about you prep dinner (so everyone is actually eating real food) and kids cleanup. Or dh makes dinner on weekends and you clean up. Or so.ethibg along those lines.

Meeting halfway goes over a lot better than all-or-nothing approach.

NOPE, OP is doing exactly the right thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

I am very annoying and now demanding. Slave driver. I am sure my husband and kids can come up with a few more adjectives. I also agree if my husband does not help out move I predict we will be divorced before the year is out. He has this summer when the kids are out of school to step up. If he does not he will be getting divorce papers. He does not know this yet but if we do end up divorcing the kids will be living with him 50% of the time.

OP, why in the world did you marry and have kids? You don't sound resentful about chores. You sound resentful of your family. I'm sorry your life came to this.

Sounds like OP likes her kids just fine. Her husband, not so much.

She wants to dump them on ex after the divorce. Nope, she doesn't like them that much. Maybe she's raising very crappy kids, who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

I am very annoying and now demanding. Slave driver. I am sure my husband and kids can come up with a few more adjectives. I also agree if my husband does not help out move I predict we will be divorced before the year is out. He has this summer when the kids are out of school to step up. If he does not he will be getting divorce papers. He does not know this yet but if we do end up divorcing the kids will be living with him 50% of the time.

OP, why in the world did you marry and have kids? You don't sound resentful about chores. You sound resentful of your family. I'm sorry your life came to this.

Sounds like OP likes her kids just fine. Her husband, not so much.

Not according to thread title "sick of... and kids". pretty dang strong words

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before I left for work H told me he was planning his own trip later this week with his friends. He said he needed a break from me. He said I am intolerable to be around and I make him miserable. I told him welcome to my life and the feelings were mutual. I told him to have a wonderful time and to stay gone the rest of the month if he wanted. I smiled and walked away. I said earlier that my marriage probably won't last the summer. I don't think it will make it till the end of the week. I am giddy at the prospect of having him gone. I already planned to take the kids skiing this weekend. I was worried he might want to come. Now he will be gone doing his own thing!! What a lovely way to start off the week.

I very much support the line you drew and getting your kids and husband to work around the house. But do you really want to throw away your marriage with this level of anger and spite? Marriage counseling, whether to fix your marriage or lead to a more peaceful divorce will be a gift to your kids. Divorce will not be pretty if you go into it with this much contempt for each other.

It's clear that this has been festering for a long time. OP didn't "do everything" for a week, a month, probably even a year. And most likely OP has said things before about her husband and kids helping out more. I see this in older generations in my family. They complain about it endlessly but continue to do everything, so nobody has any motivation to start doing things on their own. Once you're at the point where your husband/kids are entitled, it's very difficult to come back from. I'm not saying OP should absolutely divorce but there's no easy solution.

Moral of the story for everyone else - don't let it get this bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuine concern here: are YOU ok?

I'm kind of getting the feeling you were pushed past your breaking point.

lol. Who would be okay after being treated like a doormat by husband and kids?

OP is to blame for the kids behavior, but she is taking responsibility and turning things around.

As for her husband, he got it coming...

[Anonymous]

I love you!! My Mom did this when I was in HS, and brother in ES. My Dad was an ass and helpless. He hired a maid and a cook. My Mom often had too much on her plate and I think it is why cancer took her very young. Please take care of yourself first. Your kids need you around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear my husband is helpless. My kids are helpless. The sad part is I allowed it go on so long. I do EVERYTHING. I am tired and I am so done. I have nothing left to give. I decided to be selfish for once and go on a long weekend with some friends. First trip like this I have taken in YEARS! Was anyone in my family supportive. NOPE! All they cared about is how it would affect them. My own husband did not want to take care of his kids for 4 days. I told him to get his shit together because I was going. He was moody moving forward till the day I left. In my quiet time I did a lot of thinking on my trip. I decided to make some MAJOR changes when I got home.

I assigned the kids chores. If they don't not do them they were grounded for 1 day for each chore they do not do. I stopped making breakfast. The kids eat cereal now. They complain. I tell them if they want a home cooked breakfast they can make it themselves and they better clean up their mess. The kids now make their own lunches for school. Surprise surprise they can now eat at school even though before they claimed school lunches were crap. For dinner I might cook if I feel like it. Otherwise its sandwiches or something real quick. The only laundry I do is my own. Husband and kids do their own laundry. If they leave their crap in the common areas for an extended period of time into the trash it goes.

Everyone thinks I have gone crazy. I tell my husband I am stepping back to save my sanity. I told him if he wants to save our marriage he better step up. The kids complain to him constantly now thinking he is going to "save" them from chores. The kids asked them to cook and he told them he did not know how to cook. Welcome to parent hood buddy.

The moment you say that, your marriage is over.

Not Op, but I would not want to be married to such a lazy asshole.

Let him divorce. She can find another f*** buddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

I am very annoying and now demanding. Slave driver. I am sure my husband and kids can come up with a few more adjectives. I also agree if my husband does not help out move I predict we will be divorced before the year is out. He has this summer when the kids are out of school to step up. If he does not he will be getting divorce papers. He does not know this yet but if we do end up divorcing the kids will be living with him 50% of the time.

OP, why in the world did you marry and have kids? You don't sound resentful about chores. You sound resentful of your family. I'm sorry your life came to this.

Sounds like OP likes her kids just fine. Her husband, not so much.

She wants to dump them on ex after the divorce. Nope, she doesn't like them that much. Maybe she's raising very crappy kids, who knows.

Not anymore. Not anymore. OP now has her shit together. Her kids will turn out great because she is now teaching them how to be responsible members of a unit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

How would that be a bad thing for the OP?

Why wait? OP, get it over with. Why stay with your miserable kids and DH?

OP is healing from her misery. She is taking appropriate steps to making sure she is not killing herself trying to "serve" her family. Soon enough she will have no reason to be miserable.

She will be just fine. Her husband can divorce if he is miserable though. Or he can step it up and cook, clean and feed himself.