sick of my needy husband and kids

[Anonymous]

I swear my husband is helpless. My kids are helpless. The sad part is I allowed it go on so long. I do EVERYTHING. I am tired and I am so done. I have nothing left to give. I decided to be selfish for once and go on a long weekend with some friends. First trip like this I have taken in YEARS! Was anyone in my family supportive. NOPE! All they cared about is how it would affect them. My own husband did not want to take care of his kids for 4 days. I told him to get his shit together because I was going. He was moody moving forward till the day I left. In my quiet time I did a lot of thinking on my trip. I decided to make some MAJOR changes when I got home.

I assigned the kids chores. If they don't not do them they were grounded for 1 day for each chore they do not do. I stopped making breakfast. The kids eat cereal now. They complain. I tell them if they want a home cooked breakfast they can make it themselves and they better clean up their mess. The kids now make their own lunches for school. Surprise surprise they can now eat at school even though before they claimed school lunches were crap. For dinner I might cook if I feel like it. Otherwise its sandwiches or something real quick. The only laundry I do is my own. Husband and kids do their own laundry. If they leave their crap in the common areas for an extended period of time into the trash it goes.

Everyone thinks I have gone crazy. I tell my husband I am stepping back to save my sanity. I told him if he wants to save our marriage he better step up. The kids complain to him constantly now thinking he is going to "save" them from chores. The kids asked them to cook and he told them he did not know how to cook. Welcome to parent hood buddy.

[Anonymous]

WOW.

I might implement that.

[Anonymous]

You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

[Anonymous]

Op, sent them to cooking school, done and done!


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I can't do it, can't stand mess or things that are just out of place like books, clothes or mail on the dining room table. It drives me more nuts then doing cleaning up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

I am very annoying and now demanding. Slave driver. I am sure my husband and kids can come up with a few more adjectives. I also agree if my husband does not help out move I predict we will be divorced before the year is out. He has this summer when the kids are out of school to step up. If he does not he will be getting divorce papers. He does not know this yet but if we do end up divorcing the kids will be living with him 50% of the time.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids?

You've gone too far to the other extreme...not making dinner? C'mon op.
How about you prep dinner (so everyone is actually eating real food) and kids cleanup. Or dh makes dinner on weekends and you clean up. Or so.ethibg along those lines.

Meeting halfway goes over a lot better than all-or-nothing approach.

[Anonymous]

I just got done reading this on Yahoo News:

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/mom-two-writes-dear-husband-letter-asking-parenting-help-super-relatable-012124601.html

[Anonymous]

Team OP
You go hon
Remember we are raising adults and you don’t want your Dc to end up like your dh

[Anonymous]

Lots of crabby posters on here!

Well done, OP. The transition is always rough, but in a while when you feel they've understood the message, you can perhaps mellow a little bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.

Then, she'll be the lucky one.

[Anonymous]

It would be nice if you taught them to cook.

Do you work outside the home?

[Anonymous]

How the hell does he think YOU learned to cook? He can learn to cook too.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? You could do this gradually and not shock everyone. My kids are 8 and 10. First I transitioned to them making their own breakfast in the morning. We talked about what they would eat and made sure we bought the right groceries. Next we transitioned to them making their own lunches with some advanced planning on what they will need to pack. I just started teaching my 10 year old how to do his own laundry. They have other chores like taking out the trash and putting the dishes away.

I understand your frustration but you could give them time to adjust to things and ease into it!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How the hell does he think YOU learned to cook? He can learn to cook too.

+1

Is he illiterate or a moron? Recipes literally tell you exactly what to do.

[Anonymous]

Sounds reasonable to me. I’m older, and have found myself and many friends are burned out on being caretakers, mothers to retired husbands and grown children. I’ve stepped back entirely; for the first time in my life I put myself first and do not engage in trying to solve other’s problems. Nobody helps me when I am ill or worried; it’s a chronic one way street. I’m happier, and the world has not ended. I just do what everyone else was doing, what makes me happy. Don’t have to be unkind or hurtful about it - I’m just honest with myself now and act in my own best interests. It’s a good thing to have some self esteem; you may find people around you treat you better because you no longer are a doormat, just there to serve their purposes, make their lives better. It’s good for your children to learn to be responsible for reasonable tasks and contributing to the family functioning and chores. Don’t look on it as revenge or punishment; rather you are doing good parenting by teaching them autonomy and responsibility.