Is it okay that I don't have an ounce of empathy for the OW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You're still an a**hole.

Anonymous wrote:
You’re a ho’ and a terrible person. Karma will find you some day. Enjoy your conscious and your miserable life (no matter how “happy” you say you are, you are miserable)

Do you feel better about yourselves now? Like you're sticking it to your husband's mistress?

I'm glad you got that out of your systems.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think being a decent person requires feeling sympathy for the OW in this circumstance. She is now the ex of an ex and the best way to move forward is probably to deliberately never think about her again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to be sorry for her, BUT you do be considerate and empathetic about her relationship with your son (or rather his relationship with her). You didn't say how old he is, but I'm sure it will be difficult for him that someone who clearly cared about him and he cares about is about to be removed from his life.

She’s not going to be fully removed from his life. She’s the mother of his half sister. They will always be peripherally in each other’s lives.

[Anonymous]

Ditch that friend! Any good friend would be on your side in this. You have taken the high road and continue to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ditch that friend! Any good friend would be on your side in this. You have taken the high road and continue to do so.

I agree. Your friend shouldn't be trying to make you feel bad about this, and it's really strange that she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The drug analogy doesn't work, because the seller's intention isn't to kill the kid. The other woman's intentions - and she's working very hard for this - is to extract dh from his home life and create a new home with her. Every move is calculative, unlike a drug dealer, who is merely looking to stuff his/her pockets with cash.

Eh, please know that is not always the case. I'm an OW and I love our situation. I don't need a man for financial support and I don't want kids. I like alone time. I like having my own home I can decorate however I want without his bad taste imposing on mine. I like not having to share my closet. I can travel whenever I want based on my own schedule. I could go on and on...

Let me guess...you have this guy around because you can't stand being alone with yourself. Yet, you are too selfish to have a real relationship, so this married guy is the best you can do?

Sorry, I call em like I see em. This is nothing to brag about, hon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditch that friend! Any good friend would be on your side in this. You have taken the high road and continue to do so.

I agree. Your friend shouldn't be trying to make you feel bad about this, and it's really strange that she is.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditch that friend! Any good friend would be on your side in this. You have taken the high road and continue to do so.

I agree. Your friend shouldn't be trying to make you feel bad about this, and it's really strange that she is.

My guess the friend has or is involved in an affair and is scared she'll get her comeuppance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.

Eh, please know that is not always the case. I'm an OW and I love our situation. I don't need a man for financial support and I don't want kids. I like alone time. I like having my own home I can decorate however I want without his bad taste imposing on mine. I like not having to share my closet. I can travel whenever I want based on my own schedule. I could go on and on...

Wow. I definitely don't feel like the OP should have empathy for the OW. Irony is, after reading this post, I honestly feel really, really bad for you PP. The mental gymnastics you do to justify your immoral life...knowing your actions are hurting people and boasting about your independence?? It really just is so sad. I'm.not trying to be snarky. I really mean it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditch that friend! Any good friend would be on your side in this. You have taken the high road and continue to do so.

I agree. Your friend shouldn't be trying to make you feel bad about this, and it's really strange that she is.

I agree.

Agree. If OP came from a faith tradition that required her to forgive (I know some people who have experienced this) and no forgiving was tearing her up, yeah then maybe working toward forgiveness would be helpful. I think most of us who have been in this position are okay with feeling angry. I know my anger is definitely less visceral, but I wouldn't waste my forgiveness energy on the OW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You're still an a**hole.

Anonymous wrote:
You’re a ho’ and a terrible person. Karma will find you some day. Enjoy your conscious and your miserable life (no matter how “happy” you say you are, you are miserable)

Do you feel better about yourselves now? Like you're sticking it to your husband's mistress?

I'm glad you got that out of your systems.

The mistress is complicit in the whole deal. That makes her even worse than the husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You're still an a**hole.

Anonymous wrote:
You’re a ho’ and a terrible person. Karma will find you some day. Enjoy your conscious and your miserable life (no matter how “happy” you say you are, you are miserable)

Do you feel better about yourselves now? Like you're sticking it to your husband's mistress?

I'm glad you got that out of your systems.

The mistress is complicit in the whole deal. That makes her even worse than the husband.

DP, in no universe is the mistress worse than the husband, you know the guy who actually knows you, is supposed to love you, made a vow to you, and is breaking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You're still an a**hole.

Anonymous wrote:
You’re a ho’ and a terrible person. Karma will find you some day. Enjoy your conscious and your miserable life (no matter how “happy” you say you are, you are miserable)

Do you feel better about yourselves now? Like you're sticking it to your husband's mistress?

I'm glad you got that out of your systems.

The mistress is complicit in the whole deal. That makes her even worse than the husband.

DP, in no universe is the mistress worse than the husband, you know the guy who actually knows you, is supposed to love you, made a vow to you, and is breaking it.

Maybe not worse but in this case she's just as bad considering she mocked OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5 years ago my ex left me for a woman he met at work. At the time I was devastated, but realize now it was a blessing in disguise for me ad our son.

Fast forward to now and history has been repeated and ex is leaving the woman he left me for another woman.

My friend basically scolded me for having a karma suck attitude. Saying she thought I'd be more empathetic because I can relate to the situation being cheated on with a young child etc. That I shouldn't be angry with her just my ex.

I told her our situations were nothing alike she took up with and had a child with someone who was willing to cheat and leave a family. I was also angry with my ex at the time, I've moved beyond him and frankly am not surprised because this is who he is.

This woman also did her best to "out mom" me when they got together bragging about all the things she did with my son during his visits with dad. Would make digs about being a super mama because she breastfed to 2, coslept and had her daughter trained by 2 years old where as I formula fed and my son was in diapers until 4. the list goes on and on about her trying to get under my skin.

I don't wish her ill and hope she eventually figures it out if for no other reason than she has a kid. But I don't feel sorry for her on any mom to mom woman to woman sympathy. Is that a bad thing?

What? In what world does the OW deserve your sympathy? She doesn't deserve any of your emotions expended onto her. She is no one, and she's about to vanish from your life for good. You've moved on, so bye.

I don't understand the implied duty to support or feel empathy for everyone who has lady parts. Like, we both have a uterus. Does this make us BFFs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing about karma.. it’s. It a one way street to punishment, like everyone thinks it is. It’s a two way street with kindness. You may be eventually hoping for forgiveness or kindness from someone you hurt because of your actions.

So while no, I wouldn’t expect you to feel sympathy, I would hope you can feel empathy and find a way to understand that sometimes human beings screw up colossally, but they are only human beings - just like you.

M+1 lovely