Is it okay that I don't have an ounce of empathy for the OW

[Anonymous]

I don't have empathy for the man who murdered my daughter but I work every day on trying to forgive him. He is in prison and will be for the rest of his life. I do have empathy for his parents. Yes, I think they could have done a better job with him -- maybe seen the warning signs more clearly -- but I know they are suffering.

So, I will go against the grain here, OP, and tell you to try to have empathy for this woman. She has issues and problems that you don't know about and has been hurt by the same troubled man who hurt you years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have empathy for the man who murdered my daughter but I work every day on trying to forgive him. He is in prison and will be for the rest of his life. I do have empathy for his parents. Yes, I think they could have done a better job with him -- maybe seen the warning signs more clearly -- but I know they are suffering.

So, I will go against the grain here, OP, and tell you to try to have empathy for this woman. She has issues and problems that you don't know about and has been hurt by the same troubled man who hurt you years ago.

Yeah, but, you're way on the other side of the spectrum looking through the lens of extreme pain and needing to forgive him to minimize that pain (and I'm reaching here, because I don't know you, and if you want to flame me, I probably deserve it).

What happened to you is unimaginable for most people and nearly unsurvivable. We're talking about a dirty-dog-dh here and a woman who foofed him knowing he was married. Who cares what her history is. She chose to knowingly foof another gal's dh (and they had kids presumably). She wasn't thinking about anyone but herself when OP's dh's dick was in her puss. She didn't care about OP or her kids. Or the consequences of it. Who cares what her stupid little life challenges were/are.

Life, the universe, whatever you want to call it ..... doesn't care whether or not she has empathy. Life is a brutal hell for most people in the world. If it makes OP feel better that this bitch had it coming, then good for her. If OP saw fit to have empathy for the woman, same thing, good for her. Everyone copes in their own way, and it means nothing in the scope of human life, whichever way you choose to see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have empathy for the man who murdered my daughter but I work every day on trying to forgive him. He is in prison and will be for the rest of his life. I do have empathy for his parents. Yes, I think they could have done a better job with him -- maybe seen the warning signs more clearly -- but I know they are suffering.

So, I will go against the grain here, OP, and tell you to try to have empathy for this woman. She has issues and problems that you don't know about and has been hurt by the same troubled man who hurt you years ago.

I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter. I can't blame you for never forgiving the man that took her life. I don't think that you should blame his family for his actions though. If you had no idea this could happen, they almost certainly didn't either. I can totally understand how you would not be able to be near the people who raised the killer of your own child though. Again, I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

But the OW in Op's situation was an active accomplice in cheating with Op's (now ex) husband. This woman played a very direct role in hurting Op so seeing this woman now being cheated on by that very same man is a bit of poetic justice. That woman walked right into that....I don't think Op is wrong for feeling little sympathy for her.

[Anonymous]

I’m generally in the empathetic camp, but you specifically don’t need to have positive feelings towards this woman. However, take the high road and say nothing and don’t take any opportunity to rub it in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m generally in the empathetic camp, but you specifically don’t need to have positive feelings towards this woman. However, take the high road and say nothing and don’t take any opportunity to rub it in.

+1 Stay the heck out of it

(but quietly prepare the popcorn and watch how it goes with woman #3)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have empathy for the man who murdered my daughter but I work every day on trying to forgive him. He is in prison and will be for the rest of his life. I do have empathy for his parents. Yes, I think they could have done a better job with him -- maybe seen the warning signs more clearly -- but I know they are suffering.

So, I will go against the grain here, OP, and tell you to try to have empathy for this woman. She has issues and problems that you don't know about and has been hurt by the same troubled man who hurt you years ago.

I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter. I can't blame you for never forgiving the man that took her life. I don't think that you should blame his family for his actions though. If you had no idea this could happen, they almost certainly didn't either. I can totally understand how you would not be able to be near the people who raised the killer of your own child though. Again, I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

But the OW in Op's situation was an active accomplice in cheating with Op's (now ex) husband. This woman played a very direct role in hurting Op so seeing this woman now being cheated on by that very same man is a bit of poetic justice. That woman walked right into that....I don't think Op is wrong for feeling little sympathy for her.

Just to clarify, my daughter was murdered by a complete stranger. Thank you for your condolences.

[Anonymous]

I used to have a recurring dream where I went to their house and when the OW opened the front door I shot her in the chest and watched her die on the foyer floor. And I don't even own a gun!

Everybody says you should direct your rage toward your spouse who cheated and not the OW. Logically that makes sense, but to me it's about like what if your kid died of a drug overdose. You'd blame your kid, but you might want to kill the jerk who sold it to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have empathy for the man who murdered my daughter but I work every day on trying to forgive him. He is in prison and will be for the rest of his life. I do have empathy for his parents. Yes, I think they could have done a better job with him -- maybe seen the warning signs more clearly -- but I know they are suffering.

So, I will go against the grain here, OP, and tell you to try to have empathy for this woman. She has issues and problems that you don't know about and has been hurt by the same troubled man who hurt you years ago.

I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter. I can't blame you for never forgiving the man that took her life. I don't think that you should blame his family for his actions though. If you had no idea this could happen, they almost certainly didn't either. I can totally understand how you would not be able to be near the people who raised the killer of your own child though. Again, I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

But the OW in Op's situation was an active accomplice in cheating with Op's (now ex) husband. This woman played a very direct role in hurting Op so seeing this woman now being cheated on by that very same man is a bit of poetic justice. That woman walked right into that....I don't think Op is wrong for feeling little sympathy for her.

Just to clarify, my daughter was murdered by a complete stranger. Thank you for your condolences.

Again, I am so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to have a recurring dream where I went to their house and when the OW opened the front door I shot her in the chest and watched her die on the foyer floor. And I don't even own a gun!

Everybody says you should direct your rage toward your spouse who cheated and not the OW. Logically that makes sense, but to me it's about like what if your kid died of a drug overdose. You'd blame your kid, but you might want to kill the jerk who sold it to him.

The drug analogy doesn't work, because the seller's intention isn't to kill the kid. The other woman's intentions - and she's working very hard for this - is to extract dh from his home life and create a new home with her. Every move is calculative, unlike a drug dealer, who is merely looking to stuff his/her pockets with cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to have a recurring dream where I went to their house and when the OW opened the front door I shot her in the chest and watched her die on the foyer floor. And I don't even own a gun!

Everybody says you should direct your rage toward your spouse who cheated and not the OW. Logically that makes sense, but to me it's about like what if your kid died of a drug overdose. You'd blame your kid, but you might want to kill the jerk who sold it to him.

The drug analogy doesn't work, because the seller's intention isn't to kill the kid. The other woman's intentions - and she's working very hard for this - is to extract dh from his home life and create a new home with her. Every move is calculative, unlike a drug dealer, who is merely looking to stuff his/her pockets with cash.

The OW's intention is probably to stuff her pockets with cash too, at least it was in my case. Wrecking the lives of others is just a bonus!

Not only that, but a drug dealer knows they could easily kill someone in the process of stuffing their pockets with cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to have a recurring dream where I went to their house and when the OW opened the front door I shot her in the chest and watched her die on the foyer floor. And I don't even own a gun!

Everybody says you should direct your rage toward your spouse who cheated and not the OW. Logically that makes sense, but to me it's about like what if your kid died of a drug overdose. You'd blame your kid, but you might want to kill the jerk who sold it to him.

The drug analogy doesn't work, because the seller's intention isn't to kill the kid. The other woman's intentions - and she's working very hard for this - is to extract dh from his home life and create a new home with her. Every move is calculative, unlike a drug dealer, who is merely looking to stuff his/her pockets with cash.

The OW's intention is probably to stuff her pockets with cash too, at least it was in my case. Wrecking the lives of others is just a bonus!

Not only that, but a drug dealer knows they could easily kill someone in the process of stuffing their pockets with cash.

Maybe. But maybe she felt he would be easy to extract from his family and make him all hers, because he's the only one she believed who'd ever love her.

Drug dealers want to keep their customers alive. What good are they dead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The drug analogy doesn't work, because the seller's intention isn't to kill the kid. The other woman's intentions - and she's working very hard for this - is to extract dh from his home life and create a new home with her. Every move is calculative, unlike a drug dealer, who is merely looking to stuff his/her pockets with cash.

Eh, please know that is not always the case. I'm an OW and I love our situation. I don't need a man for financial support and I don't want kids. I like alone time. I like having my own home I can decorate however I want without his bad taste imposing on mine. I like not having to share my closet. I can travel whenever I want based on my own schedule. I could go on and on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The drug analogy doesn't work, because the seller's intention isn't to kill the kid. The other woman's intentions - and she's working very hard for this - is to extract dh from his home life and create a new home with her. Every move is calculative, unlike a drug dealer, who is merely looking to stuff his/her pockets with cash.

Eh, please know that is not always the case. I'm an OW and I love our situation. I don't need a man for financial support and I don't want kids. I like alone time. I like having my own home I can decorate however I want without his bad taste imposing on mine. I like not having to share my closet. I can travel whenever I want based on my own schedule. I could go on and on...

You're still an a**hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP. Karma got her, and it served her exactly right.

Exactly right! Karma is a bitch and I’m happy the bill came due in this case!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The drug analogy doesn't work, because the seller's intention isn't to kill the kid. The other woman's intentions - and she's working very hard for this - is to extract dh from his home life and create a new home with her. Every move is calculative, unlike a drug dealer, who is merely looking to stuff his/her pockets with cash.

Eh, please know that is not always the case. I'm an OW and I love our situation. I don't need a man for financial support and I don't want kids. I like alone time. I like having my own home I can decorate however I want without his bad taste imposing on mine. I like not having to share my closet. I can travel whenever I want based on my own schedule. I could go on and on...

You’re a ho’ and a terrible person. Karma will find you some day. Enjoy your conscious and your miserable life (no matter how “happy” you say you are, you are miserable)