Is it okay that I don't have an ounce of empathy for the OW

[Anonymous]

What did she expect after what she did? Did she not realize that if he did that to you, fast forward a few years and she'd be in the same boat? I wouldn't give either of them a second thought, but would go on with my life as usual. As for your friend, if she feels like offering sympathy, that's her business. Tell her you are entitled to your opinion and she's entitled to hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no need to have empathy but take the high road. It always works out better in the end.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people often say you shouldn’t have ill feelings towards the OW because they weren’t your spouse and owed you nothing.

I think that also applies in reverse- the OW is not your spouse and you owe her nothing, including feelings of sympathy.

Your friend sucks. If you were my friend, we’d split a bottle of wine while laughing over what a train wreck exDH, OW, and new OW all are.

Agree wholeheartedly with all of this.

This.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have any sympathy either. I would let the kids maintain contact if they are 1/2 siblings but I would not provide any support or empathy either. Once a cheater, alway a cheater. Sad thing is if you get child support, she will probably get very little for her child so he basically get away/out very easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know people often say you shouldn’t have ill feelings towards the OW because they weren’t your spouse and owed you nothing.

I think that also applies in reverse- the OW is not your spouse and you owe her nothing, including feelings of sympathy.

Your friend sucks. If you were my friend, we’d split a bottle of wine while laughing over what a train wreck exDH, OW, and new OW all are.

Never understood this...
Regarding"owing you nothing", does the OW not owe the wife and children basic human decency? Would you enter a relationship with someone who was married to their kid's parent? If not, you should be able to concede there is something the OW is doing to these people that is not right.

[Anonymous]

Eh no need to feel sorry for her. She knew what she had. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.

[Anonymous]

Here’s the thing about karma.. it’s. It a one way street to punishment, like everyone thinks it is. It’s a two way street with kindness. You may be eventually hoping for forgiveness or kindness from someone you hurt because of your actions.

So while no, I wouldn’t expect you to feel sympathy, I would hope you can feel empathy and find a way to understand that sometimes human beings screw up colossally, but they are only human beings - just like you.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if your friend was also effing your ex. Sounds like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing about karma.. it’s. It a one way street to punishment, like everyone thinks it is. It’s a two way street with kindness. You may be eventually hoping for forgiveness or kindness from someone you hurt because of your actions.

So while no, I wouldn’t expect you to feel sympathy, I would hope you can feel empathy and find a way to understand that sometimes human beings screw up colossally, but they are only human beings - just like you.

If you want people to be nice to you don't sleep with their husbands. It really is that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to be sorry for her, BUT you do be considerate and empathetic about her relationship with your son (or rather his relationship with her). You didn't say how old he is, but I'm sure it will be difficult for him that someone who clearly cared about him and he cares about is about to be removed from his life.

I doubt her child cares very much about a lady he probably only sees on weekends and every other holiday if that. When he still hs his actual mom. That's Op's ex's job to worry about that and the relationship with the half sibling too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to be sorry for her, BUT you do be considerate and empathetic about her relationship with your son (or rather his relationship with her). You didn't say how old he is, but I'm sure it will be difficult for him that someone who clearly cared about him and he cares about is about to be removed from his life.

Wait what? A woman who chooses to have an affair with a man who has a family "clearly cares about" the kids in the family?

With friends like you, PP, I'm not sure I'd need any enemies...

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have any sympathy for her...at least in her case she knew what type of man she was getting involved with, right?

I would stay the heck out of it, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to be sorry for her, BUT you do be considerate and empathetic about her relationship with your son (or rather his relationship with her). You didn't say how old he is, but I'm sure it will be difficult for him that someone who clearly cared about him and he cares about is about to be removed from his life.

Wait what? A woman who chooses to have an affair with a man who has a family "clearly cares about" the kids in the family?

With friends like you, PP, I'm not sure I'd need any enemies...

+1. People who care about a kid don’t break up their family and talk poorly about their mother.

And how much will OP’s son even see her anyway? She doesn’t get visitation rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure this is worth any of your energy, much less empathy.

+1. Why do you care and how does it affect you? You’re not responsible for any of it so I’m not sure why you’d need to have feelings toward her or it either way. It’s not your business to begin with at this point. Your child’s father can manage his relationships moving forward however stupidly he chooses to do so.

[Anonymous]

Karma.
But, that doesn't mean you have to see her or interact with her.

Your son will figure out it's his Dad's fault sooner or later, so I would take the high road. His dad will probably he having lots of other kids with other women.