joint custody schedule with little kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going through a separation and wonder what has worked for folks when separating with little kids ( 2 kids, youngest is 3). We plan on doing joint custody, living very close to each other. Is moving them back and forth often better or worse for little people? As the mother i'm the default parent, but they are also attached to dad. Please no advice on sanctity of marriage, therapy, counseling, religion, etc. Been there done that.

I think think this sentence is kind of a poisonous attitude

- person who's parents were divorced

Do you know what "default parent" means? There is a poisonous attitude involved, but it's usually not the default parent's.

Yes I know what default parent means. 'They are also attached to dad' is a crazily dismissive statement. And it sounds like she will foster side picking between the parents, which is bad regardless of whether or not one parent is doing more work.

you people need to lighten up just a tad bit. 'default' in my book means that the 3 yr old always prefers to go with me, the mom. because of attachment. but dad is a good dad and they also have a good time with him and he does his share of work. what 'poison' are you talking about???... good grief... just ask next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do:
Sunday am-Friday afterschool=Mom’s house
Friday afterschool-Sunday AM=Dad’s house

And Dad takes them out to dinner every Tuesday.

For us this was a good balance. Kids have a consistent home base during the schoolweek, each parent has one weekend day to plan fun stuff and they don’t go more than a few days without seeing either parents.

For school age kids I think a consistent home base during the school week is vital. Otherwise the kids will have to schlep massive amounts of stuff to school with them when parent B is picking up

My kids do not take anything extra to school on days when they switch. I pack a suitcase and their dad picks it up at the house. He drops it off after he drops them at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do:
Sunday am-Friday afterschool=Mom’s house
Friday afterschool-Sunday AM=Dad’s house

And Dad takes them out to dinner every Tuesday.

For us this was a good balance. Kids have a consistent home base during the schoolweek, each parent has one weekend day to plan fun stuff and they don’t go more than a few days without seeing either parents.

For school age kids I think a consistent home base during the school week is vital. Otherwise the kids will have to schlep massive amounts of stuff to school with them when parent B is picking up

My kids do not take anything extra to school on days when they switch. I pack a suitcase and their dad picks it up at the house. He drops it off after he drops them at school.

Why not leave clothing at Dad's house? How sad for the kids they only get Dad as a "parent" on the weekends and not the opportunity to be with him during the week. Usually it is because the primary parent wants more child support or wants to hurt the other parent by using the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going through a separation and wonder what has worked for folks when separating with little kids ( 2 kids, youngest is 3). We plan on doing joint custody, living very close to each other. Is moving them back and forth often better or worse for little people? As the mother i'm the default parent, but they are also attached to dad. Please no advice on sanctity of marriage, therapy, counseling, religion, etc. Been there done that.

I think think this sentence is kind of a poisonous attitude

- person who's parents were divorced

Do you know what "default parent" means? There is a poisonous attitude involved, but it's usually not the default parent's.

Yes I know what default parent means. 'They are also attached to dad' is a crazily dismissive statement. And it sounds like she will foster side picking between the parents, which is bad regardless of whether or not one parent is doing more work.

you people need to lighten up just a tad bit. 'default' in my book means that the 3 yr old always prefers to go with me, the mom. because of attachment. but dad is a good dad and they also have a good time with him and he does his share of work. what 'poison' are you talking about???... good grief... just ask next time.

Oh please, you probably behave in a way that makes the child feel that way and encourage it by claiming attachment. If Dad had equal time, they'd be equally attached. Most kids cycle through having a favorite parent. That's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going through a separation and wonder what has worked for folks when separating with little kids ( 2 kids, youngest is 3). We plan on doing joint custody, living very close to each other. Is moving them back and forth often better or worse for little people? As the mother i'm the default parent, but they are also attached to dad. Please no advice on sanctity of marriage, therapy, counseling, religion, etc. Been there done that.

I think think this sentence is kind of a poisonous attitude

- person who's parents were divorced

Do you know what "default parent" means? There is a poisonous attitude involved, but it's usually not the default parent's.

Yes I know what default parent means. 'They are also attached to dad' is a crazily dismissive statement. And it sounds like she will foster side picking between the parents, which is bad regardless of whether or not one parent is doing more work.

you people need to lighten up just a tad bit. 'default' in my book means that the 3 yr old always prefers to go with me, the mom. because of attachment. but dad is a good dad and they also have a good time with him and he does his share of work. what 'poison' are you talking about???... good grief... just ask next time.

Oh please, you probably behave in a way that makes the child feel that way and encourage it by claiming attachment. If Dad had equal time, they'd be equally attached. Most kids cycle through having a favorite parent. That's normal.

You're really a piece of work. OP has said NOTHING that suggests she's trying to limit her childrens' contact with their father. She's describing an exceedingly normal situation where the woman does more childcare.

[Anonymous]

My ex was and is a workaholic so didn't want the kids or the stress of picking them up or the mindshare of doing 50% of any planning, shopping, appointments, teaching, etc. Nor did he when we were married.

He loves doing the focused Disney Dad thing Friday even through Sunday breakfast out. Works well for his attention deficit disorder too, knows to hyper focus on the kids those days and continues his alway-hyper focus on office work the rest of his life.

[jsteele]

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