No card, no flowers, no candy from long distance boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gave flowers, candy, but was called out for no card. OK, makes me a bad person, and I didn't really expect anything in return, though I helped to the tune of $13K for repairs and dental work. I guess I should have remembered the card.

Yeah, and you put up with it because folks always want the ones who don't want them. It's like the Ansari situation. If he had been a 53yo Pakistani cab driver there is no way that girl would even have shaken hands with him, much less let him paw her and push her head in his crotch. She put up with the BS for the chance to hang out with a celeb. Why are you putting up with the BS? OP needs someone like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I do know he made it this morning because Spotify puts the date created on the playlist. So he made it at work this morning. That’s the thing, it doesn’t feel like an ultra curated thoughtful thing, but an oh crap last minute effort with kind of a romantic facade. Which I could be or likely am projecting onto it. But the bolded is completely true and I need to keep that perspective.

so do you know how much time he spent picking the songs, which includes listening to maybe 2 x as many songs on the actual playlist? In reality, he most likely spent more time in finding the songs than you spent maknig his card. the fact he pulled it together this morning means nothing in terms of the thought, time and effort he probably put into it.

JFC, men just cannot win.

I’m laughing because you’re giving him way too much credit. I love the guy, but I know he didn’t spend a ton of time on this, he didnt listen to every song before putting it on on the playlist (obviously at some point he’s listened to all the songs), much less listening to two times as many songs. Come on.

It takes less time to order your candy and flowers. Do you prefer this
https://www.proflowers.com/product/-30250933?cobrand=PFC&REF=PFCFeedGooglePLA_PID_30250933&cvosrc=pla.google.30250933&CAWELAID=130004200000049498

[Anonymous]

I'm so glad I'm not a dude. Women be crazy.

[Anonymous]

Dump him! He’s just not that into you. Tell him it’s just nott working out for you- rip the bandaid off. Do you enjoy being unhappy?

[Anonymous]

I would have liked a card and/or flowers as well, but if the Spotify playlist songs have a ton of thought in them, then that would be pretty awesome as well.

I love gifts that include a lot of thought vs. a lot of money.

Really!

[Anonymous]

While your listening to the Spotify. His side action. Or more likely real action is giving him his valentines gift.

Long distance fool. Move on.

[Anonymous]

This poor guy.

[Anonymous]

OP, i think you are obtuse to not understand the irony in your complaining about the gift he gave you without realizing your gift could be equally frowned upon by someone else (if that person were as obtuse as you). People have different gift styles. Your gift, while cute, would be deemed offensive and cheap by a lot of people (not me, but some people). I actually think a spotify playlist and handmade craft are pretty on par with each other; as in, your BF may have received your gift by mail a couple days ago and decided that you are a low-maintenance gift person, and actively opted to do something simple like a playlist to not offend you.

In any event, isn't the date on the playlist the last time it was modified? As in, he could have been working on this for a couple days, and made some final edits this morning?

My DH does pretty thoughtful, but always low cost, gifts. (though we don't do valentines gifts). They're not always something i'd want (most often they are), but with him i always know there was a thought in them -- so i always love his gifts. He's also a music person and puts a LOT of time into playlists. A playlist from him is a time consuming thoughtful gesture.

[Anonymous]

V-day is really not important to a lot of men. Once you realize that you can temper your expectations. Or maybe he is not the one for you? Who knows? Don't get butt hurt over ONE day. How does he treat you the other 364 days?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone ever called you high maintenance, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told him two weeks ago that it was really important to me that we acknowledge Valentine’s Day given the current long distance situation. I handmade a card, sent a piece of art that I made and a care package of his favorite treats in a decorated box.

He made me a Spotify playlist. That would have been cute when I was 17.

He's not your boyfriend. See the clues? Everything you wanted from him...he gave to his real girlfriend who lives near him. Wake up girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a Spotify playlist is really sweet actually. And I'm almost 50.

+1. Reminds me of the mixtapes one of my ex-boyfriends made me. I still love those songs and think of him whenever I hear them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I do know he made it this morning because Spotify puts the date created on the playlist. So he made it at work this morning. That’s the thing, it doesn’t feel like an ultra curated thoughtful thing, but an oh crap last minute effort with kind of a romantic facade. Which I could be or likely am projecting onto it. But the bolded is completely true and I need to keep that perspective.

so do you know how much time he spent picking the songs, which includes listening to maybe 2 x as many songs on the actual playlist? In reality, he most likely spent more time in finding the songs than you spent maknig his card. the fact he pulled it together this morning means nothing in terms of the thought, time and effort he probably put into it.

JFC, men just cannot win.

I’m laughing because you’re giving him way too much credit. I love the guy, but I know he didn’t spend a ton of time on this, he didnt listen to every song before putting it on on the playlist (obviously at some point he’s listened to all the songs), much less listening to two times as many songs. Come on.

Well, maybe he’s telling you that he’s busy with his local GF?

[Anonymous]

I think the playlist is a thoughtful gift. Your expectations are way too high. We were long distance a year before marriage. I was very happy to get roses delivered. But a playlist is much more thoughtful, if I had to compare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told him two weeks ago that it was really important to me that we acknowledge Valentine’s Day given the current long distance situation. I handmade a card, sent a piece of art that I made and a care package of his favorite treats in a decorated box.

He made me a Spotify playlist. That would have been cute when I was 17.

You don't have much room to talk OP. You were cheap which is just as teenage-like as making a playlist.