Almost a month since wedding and no sex

[Anonymous]

you are building it up way too much. He has waited a long time and so have you, a weekday night can be special.

I would dress in a simple babydoll or something sexy tonight and go at it. It will be fun, I promise

[Anonymous]

You didn't answer if you were the OP of the other thread.

I suspect you are. You both sound very immature. Maybe consider counseling.

[Anonymous]

OP, most of the time these “special moments” don’t just “arise.” Especially when you’ve built something up to be this epic event. I mean, my DH and I still often have to kind of look at our schedules and pick the few days during the week we can do it! That’s not romantic, but it keeps us on a regular schedule, happy, and it works. For me, I love doing it, but I also love just being able to go right to bed some nights and planning it out just works for us because we know we’re getting some nookie and also going to be able to have an early, restful sleep some days.

Stop building it up to be like the movies. That’s not real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:annulment STAT

Purity ball poster, as if. I don't want my daughter being the school slut thank you very much. I had my pick of guys and never once gave up the pussy.

sex isn't all it's made out to be. Give him an old fashion, same results. men think they need unloading by a different hand.

period sex gives you a really bad UTIs

why did you marry ?

Why are the only options for women virgin or slut? Maybe having a reasonable amount of partners?

[Anonymous]

Never gotten a UTI from period sex, but hey, sex of any kind give UTIs, so be careful out there, folks!!!

[Anonymous]

I do not envy the husband here. How are they going to have any kind of regular sexual relationship if she sets these kinds of conditions *this* early in the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your husband and explain you'd like your first time to be special.

Clear your schedule for Saturday. Make reservations at a nice place for dinner. Don't fight all day Friday or Saturday (even if you feel justified). Dress up and don't eat/drink too much (otherwise you'll complain you're drunk or bloated). Have a nice romantic dinner and try to remember why you married the guy in the first place (hopefully out of love?).

Come home, get it on. If you don't enjoy it, don't tell him immediately (good way to guarantee it doesn't happen again soon). If you do like it, woohoo! Problem solved.

I want to enjoy it and have fun! We’ve waited so long! Yes I’m scared but that’s not what’s holding me back.

We never got a honeymoon. I just want to go away somewhere or have a day where we can relax just be together and warm up to it.

With full time work, commutes,stress etc, it’s hard for me mentally to want to get it on at 10 pm on a Wednesday for the first time.
M

I feel so sorry for your husband. He made a terrible mistake marrying you. You are a month into marriage and making excuses for not having sex like somebody who's been married for 15 years and is balls deep with three small kids.

I think you have no sex drive.

[Anonymous]

Why do you fight so much? That is not a good sign given it has been one month. I cannot imagine being a virgin and then once married fighting to an extent that you have not consummated the marriage in an entire month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you want the idea of sex more than you want to have sex.

I have a friend who was a virgin until marriage (at 25) and then was too scared to pull the trigger on her wedding night. She literally faked falling asleep so she didn't have to do the deed. She did a group call with me and another of our good friends the next morning from the airport bathroom where she was crying, absolutely terrified that she'd have to have sex that night and couldn't possibly fake sleeping again.

She did it that night to kick off their honeymoon and then spent the next 3.5 hours texting back and forth with me and others in a group chat on how horrible it was and how she thought she'd made a huge mistake with the marriage. Um, no. The mistake was not the marriage, it was buying into the notion that your self-worth was tied to what's between your legs. She was literally looking up flights back to DC and figuring out if she could get an annulment. We'd talk her down, she'd go to bed, and then the scene would repeat the next night after having horrible sex. It was probably the next to last or last day of their honeymoon when we got a text from her that said "it kind of felt good last night & i didn't feel like i was dying during or after it." Even to this day she remembers nothing about what they did on their honeymoon other than how much she hated the sex and how terrifying it was for her. I know we had sex during our honeymoon, sure, but what I remember most is all of the adventures we went on during that time.

This just makes me soooo glad I didn’t wait until marriage. Getting the horrible, awkward sex over with while you are still in your late teens/early 20’s is the way to go, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Period sex is OK. Don't let that stop you. Natural lubricant.

But. If you really want some time with your DH, take a day off and spend it in bed.

Okay that is gross and nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are setting yourself up for disappointment. 1st Time is not that great for most women, so if there is anger/resentment on top of that, it will be anything but special.

Plus, it takes a few more times until you really feel comfortable. So, practice ow when the timing isn’t your “dream” timing and save the “wedding night dream” for a weekend you and DH can devote to it once you are a little more practiced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are setting yourself up for disappointment. 1st Time is not that great for most women, so if there is anger/resentment on top of that, it will be anything but special.

Plus, it takes a few more times until you really feel comfortable. So, practice ow when the timing isn’t your “dream” timing and save the “wedding night dream” for a weekend you and DH can devote to it once you are a little more practiced.

Oh yeah, pee before and after to help avoid UTIs in the future. PLus, call your doctor now to get a prescription for the UTI you will get until your DH’s germs and your germs become friends. Don’t forget to drink drink drink your fluids. Cranberry juice helps too.

[Anonymous]

There is no good excuse for not consummating the marriage after a month. You are making excuses, but they’re not valid.
He has every right to be furious and hurt.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP.

I want to both hug you and slap your out of your stupid. How old are you?

It is disappointing that you held out for this special event and is hard to let go of the expectation. But the only way you can move beyond this is to let it go. Accept that your first time is not going to be the romantic event you envisioned.

Now that you've moved beyond that you need to work on relaxing yourself...which you should let your DH help. Let him give you a massage or something. Hell, just take off our clothes and lay beside him in the bed. It might be awkward getting to the that point, but biology will start kicking in.

And if your first time is awful...just keep at it. The more you do it the better it gets.

[Anonymous]

The tired after life part is very common for many marriages. You just have to do it. Building up the moment and waiting for it to arise will not happen since it doesn’t alteady in the two weeks you were married. First time will probably not be fun for you. Or the second. But it will get better and be wonderful. Make the moment happen (that goes for your dh too).