How do I convince family that I'm happy living a mediocre life?

[Anonymous]

Truly happy people don't try to convince others of anything. They just live their lives and enjoy it. Don't waste time on what anyone else thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PPs who are asking about the OP being childless, do you honestly think your children are going to care for you in old age? It's not the 1950s anymore, and kids grow up to have their own lives to lead. The OP is all the more in a better position to plan for her future because she doesn't have kids to (a) suck the life out of her and (b) financially drain her like what even adult kids do to their aging parents (e.g. the thread about the loser drug addict brother who freaked out a sister who was getting childcare help from their parents). So seriously, unless you're living in some society which embraces multigenerational living, don't delude yourself.

Have you dealt with aging parents, pp? We're not elephants who go off into the woods to die when it's our time. When we get older, we often need help, both minor and major, and usually children help their parents. That's what I did, and that's what most people I know do.

True, but the problem with parents such as yourself is that they think their problems can be mitigated by having kids but there's no guarantee of anything. What if your kids die before you? Why would you want to burden your kids? They didn't ask to be born.

[Anonymous]

Just shrug those questions off and give noncommittal answers. People get a clue eventually.

[Anonymous]

As long as you are 100% independent, saving for retirement/old age, and will always be able to take care of yourself (insurance, long term care, etc), then you are fine- and tell them that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that you aren't doing what they value and you aren't showing them that you value something different. Your own words describe your life as unsatisfactory. So, change your descriptions to show that you actually enjoy your choices. Instead of describing your life as "part time", "not hurting others", "mediocre" and "not hurting myself", start trying to show the positives. It's all about spinning it in positive language.

I am so happy that I now have the freedom to do what I want, not what I have to. I do not miss being a part of the rat race where I exhaust myself working for someone else and having to live my life around my job. I now choose for myself what to do and when to do and that is so liberating. I feel so much healthier and more fulfilled setting my own priorities. When I worked, I felt that life was passing me by while I was at work. Now, I am actually doing what I want and not waiting for weekends or vacations to do what I want. You should try it. You might be happier with your life like I am.

I agree with spinning it differently, except for the last two sentences. Op’s sibs probably are a bit jealous of her freedom and ease, even if they could set up their own lives to have a bit more themselves. If she says all this, it’s a clear dissing of their lives. Don’t fight judgment with judgment. Just live your best life and stop worrying what they think about you.

PP you are responding to. I understand. And for people who are not criticizing, that may be true. From my experience, I needed to add such language to family who not only judged, but also questioned my choices and couldn't grasp that I made different choices from them. This was the way to say "You should not judge without trying it first." which was the final key to getting them to stop. As long as I said "You won't know/understand until you try it" and they weren't willing to try it, they didn't stop the nagging and criticizing. You could replace the last two sentences with "Don't knock it until you've tried it." which is a less abrasive version but it didn't work for me until I was more pointed.

[Anonymous]

Happiness is success.

[Anonymous]

your life sounds kind of empty. there are many possibilities between go go go lifestyle and that of a part time childless spinster.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that your siblings are concerned about the durability of your financial estate? I have a sister who has burnt through her fortune and will likely depend on me for her old age. If this is not the case, more power to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that your siblings are concerned about the durability of your financial estate? I have a sister who has burnt through her fortune and will likely depend on me for her old age. If this is not the case, more power to you!

To this PP, why are you responsible for your grown-up sister? Just because she wants to depend on you doesn't mean that she should.. People make their own mistakes, just them rot if they didn't plan ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that your siblings are concerned about the durability of your financial estate? I have a sister who has burnt through her fortune and will likely depend on me for her old age. If this is not the case, more power to you!

To this PP, why are you responsible for your grown-up sister? Just because she wants to depend on you doesn't mean that she should.. People make their own mistakes, just them rot if they didn't plan ahead.

it's not that simple. often burden of one's mistakes falls on family members. just because they are not legally required to help doesn't mean they don't feel that they should. it often sucks not to help even if it's not your fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that your siblings are concerned about the durability of your financial estate? I have a sister who has burnt through her fortune and will likely depend on me for her old age. If this is not the case, more power to you!

OP appears to have retired at 30 something and based on money she didn't even earn. totally ridiculous. you don't need to live 100% of your potential but OP is living at 3%. wake up OP and think hard about your life.