Reply to How do I convince family that I'm happy living a mediocre life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem is that you aren't doing what they value and you aren't showing them that you value something different.  Your own words describe your life as unsatisfactory.  So, change your descriptions to show that you actually enjoy your choices.  Instead of describing your life as "part time", "not hurting others", "mediocre" and "not hurting myself", start trying to show the positives.  It's all about spinning it in positive language.

I am so happy that I now have the freedom to do what I want, not what I have to.  I do not miss being a part of the rat race where I exhaust myself working for someone else and having to live my life around my job.  I now choose for myself what to do and when to do and that is so liberating.  I feel so much healthier and more fulfilled setting my own priorities.  When I worked, I felt that life was passing me by while I was at work.  Now, I am actually doing what I want and not waiting for weekends or vacations to do what I want.  You should try it.  You might be happier with your life like I am.[/quote]

I agree with spinning it differently, except for the last two sentences.  Op’s sibs probably are a bit jealous of her freedom and ease, even if they could set up their own lives to have a bit more themselves. If she says all this, it’s a clear dissing of their lives.  Don’t fight judgment with judgment.  Just live your best life and stop worrying what they think about you.[/quote]

PP you are responding to.  I understand.  And for people who are not criticizing, that may be true.  From my experience, I needed to add such language to family who not only judged, but also questioned my choices and couldn't grasp that I made different choices from them.  This was the way to say "You should not judge without trying it first." which was the final key to getting them to stop.  As long as I said "You won't know/understand until you try it" and they weren't willing to try it, they didn't stop the nagging and criticizing.  You could replace the last two sentences with "Don't knock it until you've tried it." which is a less abrasive version but it didn't work for me until I was more pointed.[/quote]

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