anger over ex's new wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

OP here: yes she is. I've asked for help from the police and the court. The response form the police is get a court order enforcing the original court order you already have. The courts response is "you don't want to have the police escort your kids to your car... work towards reunification" At least that is what happened this week when we went to court.

For those questioning my child support payments, there are no issues on my side. She; however, has misappropriated over 100K in child support money by putting it directly into her retirement account over the last 6 years.

Nobody is really seeing what she really is or what she is really doing. She lied in her pleading and got caught. The judge gave her the option of amending her pleading so that she is no longer committing perjury. It wasn't a small omission or mistake. It was a flat out lie. That lie is the foundation for a whole lot of the problems right now.

I've come to believe she is unstable and that she is upset that it looks like my life is happy now and that I'm moving on. I think she wants to inject herself into my life and ruin things.

There is no requirement for accountability for child support. There is also little for visitation. My husband took his visitation to court several times and the just just told her to pay the unused plane tickets, which she never did and send the kids. She never did. She did all kinds of shady things like take a double garnishment and never refunded my husband the extra money. Court told her to pay it back and she never did. She also lied and said she didn't get it when he was sending a check, she cashed and we had proof. Turned out he had a $20K overpayment and court just excused it. Only thing the judge did was adjust the child support to take the two older kids off and remove alimony that was done years before but each job kept taking it out. She was so angry she filed for more support and got less.

OP, good for you. Move on and be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my friends took about 2 years to get over the divorce.

If you W is unhappy about the marriage it is because your new wife is mean to your children behind your back or you are just too stupid to see it.

I am not saying this is never the reason for an ex wife to be unhappy, but this is definitely not the norm!!!

Actually, men moving on and leaving their children behind is the norm.

Actually the norm we know is men want their kids, would like shared or full custody but only at best get every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer or a few holidays and a few weeks in the summer (even if mom took the kids and moved away) and often mom refuses the kids and tells them terrible untrue things about their fathers. If you want men involved you need to encourage it and set up a system to enforce men's rights to their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

Women do it all the time, and suffer no consequences. Happened to a friend of mine. Finally he got tired of the fight and wrote the children off. His parents then disinherited their grandchildren, which one day will cost them about $3 million. My friend just remarried, and is adopting his new wife's teenage children. I expect one day they will be the beneficiaries of the family estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have been less than 100% perfect about child support and parenting issues, you have only yourself to blame.

She is trying to lock in a higher amount to make sure she still gets enough after you have more kids. It happens a lot and she is not crazy for doing it. You should have expected this.

If she gets enough money from him now, she will still get enough after he has more kids. If he has more kids, he will have less "surplus" money. It is totally crazy for her to ask for more money for this reason.

What if he doesn't even make enough for the kids he has?

There is no such thing as "enough" and "not enough" when it comes to children. There are children being raised today, inside the beltway, in one-bedroom apartments on $11,000/year. And there are children being raised in $5 million homes on parental income of millions.

States have calculators which show given each parent's income and the number of children, how much the support amount is going to be. You can find these calculators online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is trying to lock in a higher amount to make sure she still gets enough after you have more kids. It happens a lot and she is not crazy for doing it. You should have expected this.

That doesn't work though. At about month 7 in her new wife's pregnancy he is going to file for a change of child support based on a new child. It's a change in circumstances and since child support is done by calculation exW will be losing money.

It will work until then and with old man sperm it could be a while.

OP is in his 40s. His count is likely in the millions if not tens of millions. On average second wives are 8 years younger, so they will conceive quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my husbands ex-wife. She filed for more child support based off my income. She was horrible to the kids and stopped visitation. The courts were a joke. Hope you have a better outcome than my husband and his kids. Congrat's on getting married.

That's crazy! There is no rationale whatsoever essentially to give her your money.

And yet ex-wives do it all the time. Some states have had to pass laws forbidding judges from taking into account the income of new wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is trying to lock in a higher amount to make sure she still gets enough after you have more kids. It happens a lot and she is not crazy for doing it. You should have expected this.

That doesn't work though. At about month 7 in her new wife's pregnancy he is going to file for a change of child support based on a new child. It's a change in circumstances and since child support is done by calculation exW will be losing money.

That makes no sense. If he has new kids, the older kids still cost the same as they always did. Do child support calculations really cut the obligation to older kids when younger kids arrive?

Yes, they do. Each additional child will roughly cut in half his current obligation to his ex-wife. This is one reason divorced men often times have two or more children with their new wife--it pays!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is trying to lock in a higher amount to make sure she still gets enough after you have more kids. It happens a lot and she is not crazy for doing it. You should have expected this.

That doesn't work though. At about month 7 in her new wife's pregnancy he is going to file for a change of child support based on a new child. It's a change in circumstances and since child support is done by calculation exW will be losing money.

That makes no sense. If he has new kids, the older kids still cost the same as they always did. Do child support calculations really cut the obligation to older kids when younger kids arrive?

Yes, they do. Each additional child will roughly cut in half his current obligation to his ex-wife. This is one reason divorced men often times have two or more children with their new wife--it pays!

That is NOT the reason why they have children with the new wife. The notion of taking on a life-long commitment to raise additional children just to save a little money in the short term is absurd.

Also, according to the state a new child is worth 2.5% of available resources while a child of the divorce is worth 10% of available resources. That means the ex wife will get 0.1 X 97.5% of the fathers income even if he asked for an adjustment based on a new child. That does NOT cut the child support in half. It only reduces by a very small fraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my friends took about 2 years to get over the divorce.

If you W is unhappy about the marriage it is because your new wife is mean to your children behind your back or you are just too stupid to see it.

I am not saying this is never the reason for an ex wife to be unhappy, but this is definitely not the norm!!!

Actually, men moving on and leaving their children behind is the norm.

Actually the norm we know is men want their kids, would like shared or full custody but only at best get every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer or a few holidays and a few weeks in the summer (even if mom took the kids and moved away) and often mom refuses the kids and tells them terrible untrue things about their fathers. If you want men involved you need to encourage it and set up a system to enforce men's rights to their children.

My sister is a family law judge. Men don't want their kids.

They might agree to more time to pay less but her experience is 10% want their kids full time another 10% want 50/50. The rest just treat their kids as collateral damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

Women do it all the time, and suffer no consequences. Happened to a friend of mine. Finally he got tired of the fight and wrote the children off. His parents then disinherited their grandchildren, which one day will cost them about $3 million. My friend just remarried, and is adopting his new wife's teenage children. I expect one day they will be the beneficiaries of the family estate.

You are one sick psycho.

Before you call me a divorced bitter wife, I'm not. People that abandon their children to prove their wives are wrong are sick human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

Women do it all the time, and suffer no consequences. Happened to a friend of mine. Finally he got tired of the fight and wrote the children off. His parents then disinherited their grandchildren, which one day will cost them about $3 million. My friend just remarried, and is adopting his new wife's teenage children. I expect one day they will be the beneficiaries of the family estate.

You are one sick psycho.

Before you call me a divorced bitter wife, I'm not. People that abandon their children to prove their wives are wrong are sick human beings.

The above poster didn't abandon the kids to prove the ex wife wrong. It was done because at some point there isn't much else a parent who has been systematically alienated from his children can do. Look up Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Fathers are often the victim of this. They are often not supported by society or the courts. It is absolute torture when this happens and sometimes the only option left is to move on.

I'm a divorced father and about a year ago I had a epiphany while cleaning my kids rooms. I realized that I had put my life on hold for years. I bought a house and decorated my kids rooms and was spending my non-possession times waiting for my kids. All the while their mother would jerk me around with pick-up and drop-off. The kids wouldn't answer the phone when I called. I haven't moved on yet but I've been locked in court fights just to see my kids for a long time now. I'm spending money that I don't have just so I can visit them. Their mother forced the kids to choose. The School has reported her to CPS but the courts don't care. At some point I may have to move on also. A lot of people around me have started to suggest I move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

Women do it all the time, and suffer no consequences. Happened to a friend of mine. Finally he got tired of the fight and wrote the children off. His parents then disinherited their grandchildren, which one day will cost them about $3 million. My friend just remarried, and is adopting his new wife's teenage children. I expect one day they will be the beneficiaries of the family estate.

You are one sick psycho.

Before you call me a divorced bitter wife, I'm not. People that abandon their children to prove their wives are wrong are sick human beings.

The above poster didn't abandon the kids to prove the ex wife wrong. It was done because at some point there isn't much else a parent who has been systematically alienated from his children can do. Look up Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Fathers are often the victim of this. They are often not supported by society or the courts. It is absolute torture when this happens and sometimes the only option left is to move on.

I'm a divorced father and about a year ago I had a epiphany while cleaning my kids rooms. I realized that I had put my life on hold for years. I bought a house and decorated my kids rooms and was spending my non-possession times waiting for my kids. All the while their mother would jerk me around with pick-up and drop-off. The kids wouldn't answer the phone when I called. I haven't moved on yet but I've been locked in court fights just to see my kids for a long time now. I'm spending money that I don't have just so I can visit them. Their mother forced the kids to choose. The School has reported her to CPS but the courts don't care. At some point I may have to move on also. A lot of people around me have started to suggest I move on.

Men settle for every other weekend and say stupid shit like "put my life on hold" when they describe taking care of kids over <fill in other activity> then wonder why they have no relationship with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my friends took about 2 years to get over the divorce.

If you W is unhappy about the marriage it is because your new wife is mean to your children behind your back or you are just too stupid to see it.

I am not saying this is never the reason for an ex wife to be unhappy, but this is definitely not the norm!!!

Actually, men moving on and leaving their children behind is the norm.

Actually the norm we know is men want their kids, would like shared or full custody but only at best get every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer or a few holidays and a few weeks in the summer (even if mom took the kids and moved away) and often mom refuses the kids and tells them terrible untrue things about their fathers. If you want men involved you need to encourage it and set up a system to enforce men's rights to their children.

My sister is a family law judge. Men don't want their kids.

They might agree to more time to pay less but her experience is 10% want their kids full time another 10% want 50/50. The rest just treat their kids as collateral damage.

She is? What county and state does she work for? I'll look her up.

I wanted my kids. All my divorced male friends wanted our kids. In my circle of divorced male friends we spent between $50,000 and $300,000 in legal fees to attempt to gain shared or full custody. As a group we were successful about 40 percent of the time.

Are you telling me that a man who spends a quarter of a million dollars to be a part of his children's lives doesn't want their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is trying to lock in a higher amount to make sure she still gets enough after you have more kids. It happens a lot and she is not crazy for doing it. You should have expected this.

That doesn't work though. At about month 7 in her new wife's pregnancy he is going to file for a change of child support based on a new child. It's a change in circumstances and since child support is done by calculation exW will be losing money.

That makes no sense. If he has new kids, the older kids still cost the same as they always did. Do child support calculations really cut the obligation to older kids when younger kids arrive?

Yes, they do. Each additional child will roughly cut in half his current obligation to his ex-wife. This is one reason divorced men often times have two or more children with their new wife--it pays!

That is NOT the reason why they have children with the new wife. The notion of taking on a life-long commitment to raise additional children just to save a little money in the short term is absurd.

Also, according to the state a new child is worth 2.5% of available resources while a child of the divorce is worth 10% of available resources. That means the ex wife will get 0.1 X 97.5% of the fathers income even if he asked for an adjustment based on a new child. That does NOT cut the child support in half. It only reduces by a very small fraction.

According to which state? There are 51 of them and each calculates child support differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

Women do it all the time, and suffer no consequences. Happened to a friend of mine. Finally he got tired of the fight and wrote the children off. His parents then disinherited their grandchildren, which one day will cost them about $3 million. My friend just remarried, and is adopting his new wife's teenage children. I expect one day they will be the beneficiaries of the family estate.

You are one sick psycho.

Before you call me a divorced bitter wife, I'm not. People that abandon their children to prove their wives are wrong are sick human beings.

Actually, the psychologists who deal with child alienation recommend eventually divorcing the children if the courts do not take action to fix the problem.

There is no moral law I am aware of that obligates a man's family to pass on money to children or grandchildren who have been taught to hate their father.

But you have just proven the point: to women, marriage and children are all about how much money they can steal from a man. Take away a $3 million inheritance and they foam at the mouth like a rabid dog.