anger over ex's new wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is trying to lock in a higher amount to make sure she still gets enough after you have more kids. It happens a lot and she is not crazy for doing it. You should have expected this.

That doesn't work though. At about month 7 in her new wife's pregnancy he is going to file for a change of child support based on a new child. It's a change in circumstances and since child support is done by calculation exW will be losing money.

That makes no sense. If he has new kids, the older kids still cost the same as they always did. Do child support calculations really cut the obligation to older kids when younger kids arrive?

Yes, they do. Each additional child will roughly cut in half his current obligation to his ex-wife. This is one reason divorced men often times have two or more children with their new wife--it pays!

Depends on the state. We were told it was minimal and not worth the court/attorney fees. That is not the reason why divorced men have more kids. And, child has to be born, not in utero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

Women do it all the time, and suffer no consequences. Happened to a friend of mine. Finally he got tired of the fight and wrote the children off. His parents then disinherited their grandchildren, which one day will cost them about $3 million. My friend just remarried, and is adopting his new wife's teenage children. I expect one day they will be the beneficiaries of the family estate.

We aren't leaving anything to my husband's kids. I wouldn't even tell them if he passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is trying to lock in a higher amount to make sure she still gets enough after you have more kids. It happens a lot and she is not crazy for doing it. You should have expected this.

That doesn't work though. At about month 7 in her new wife's pregnancy he is going to file for a change of child support based on a new child. It's a change in circumstances and since child support is done by calculation exW will be losing money.

That makes no sense. If he has new kids, the older kids still cost the same as they always did. Do child support calculations really cut the obligation to older kids when younger kids arrive?

Yes, they do. Each additional child will roughly cut in half his current obligation to his ex-wife. This is one reason divorced men often times have two or more children with their new wife--it pays!

Depends on the state. We were told it was minimal and not worth the court/attorney fees. That is not the reason why divorced men have more kids. And, child has to be born, not in utero.

You can file while in utero (in some states). It can take several months to get a hearing scheduled. OC can motion that there is no baby present yet, but counter-motion from plaintiff is that baby will be here by the time we get to court; we're happy to have a hearing on the subject sooner if it can be scheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my friends took about 2 years to get over the divorce.

If you W is unhappy about the marriage it is because your new wife is mean to your children behind your back or you are just too stupid to see it.

I am not saying this is never the reason for an ex wife to be unhappy, but this is definitely not the norm!!!

Actually, men moving on and leaving their children behind is the norm.

After their wives move heaven and earth to deny men access to their kids, the men "move on and leave the kids behind them"... because they're out of money to pay lawyers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

She is denying you court ordered visitation with them??

Women do it all the time, and suffer no consequences. Happened to a friend of mine. Finally he got tired of the fight and wrote the children off. His parents then disinherited their grandchildren, which one day will cost them about $3 million. My friend just remarried, and is adopting his new wife's teenage children. I expect one day they will be the beneficiaries of the family estate.

You are one sick psycho.

Before you call me a divorced bitter wife, I'm not. People that abandon their children to prove their wives are wrong are sick human beings.

The above poster didn't abandon the kids to prove the ex wife wrong. It was done because at some point there isn't much else a parent who has been systematically alienated from his children can do. Look up Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Fathers are often the victim of this. They are often not supported by society or the courts. It is absolute torture when this happens and sometimes the only option left is to move on.

I'm a divorced father and about a year ago I had a epiphany while cleaning my kids rooms. I realized that I had put my life on hold for years. I bought a house and decorated my kids rooms and was spending my non-possession times waiting for my kids. All the while their mother would jerk me around with pick-up and drop-off. The kids wouldn't answer the phone when I called. I haven't moved on yet but I've been locked in court fights just to see my kids for a long time now. I'm spending money that I don't have just so I can visit them. Their mother forced the kids to choose. The School has reported her to CPS but the courts don't care. At some point I may have to move on also. A lot of people around me have started to suggest I move on.

Men settle for every other weekend and say stupid shit like "put my life on hold" when they describe taking care of kids over <fill in other activity> then wonder why they have no relationship with their kids.

"Settle for" every other weekend? Only in the sense that "every other weekend" is what the system gives you, so you might as well get used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Actually, the psychologists who deal with child alienation recommend eventually divorcing the children if the courts do not take action to fix the problem.

There is no moral law I am aware of that obligates a man's family to pass on money to children or grandchildren who have been taught to hate their father.

But you have just proven the point: to women, marriage and children are all about how much money they can steal from a man. Take away a $3 million inheritance and they foam at the mouth like a rabid dog.

So much easier said than done. In Virginia you can not voluntarily surrender your parental rights unless there is a third party who will assume those rights (adoption, foster care, etc...). the court can remove all visitation and keep you from having any input in the child's care and how they are raised but they will not release you from your legal obligation for the child once Paternity is established. Also in the state of Virginia if the woman is married or was married in the last 10 months the husband is legally considered the father, so if you separate from your wife with the intent to divorce and she gets knocked up by someone else you have a nice long court battle in your future once the child is born of course.

In the event of an unwanted/unintended pregnancy the father has no rights what so ever until the child is born or he can prove to the court that it is in the mother's or child's best interest that something needs to happen, Even if the child was conceived via lack of consent (statutory rape) or deception (don't worry I'm on the pill) the father is still legally responsible if he is over the age of 14, where as the mother can choose to abort any time up until 13 weeks (maybe longer) if she is over the age of 14. However if the father attempts to convince the mother to abort that can be construed as domestic violence via reproductive Coercion which would be a nice way of denying visitation if the mother so desires.

I fully support a woman's right to chose and her reproductive freedom I'd just like the same rights at least legally.

None of this is legal advice please consult a lawyer if you are in doubt, they would love to charge you for the consultation just to tell you sucks to be you.

[Anonymous]

How do these women continue to coerce these men into giving them the sperm to make these babies? It baffles me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you get upset when your ex remarried?

I've been divorced 7 years. She filed for the divorce. I Met someone a couple years ago and recently got remarried. My ex went bonkers. She has been saying really bad things about me to the kids and preventing me from spending time with them. She filed a law suit and served me papers days prior to the wedding wanting more child support and alleging all sort of things. The situation has gotten bad with the kids. They are not handling the stress very well.

1. If you asked for the divorce and then got it why get so upset when your partner moved on?
2. What did it take for you to move on yourself?
3. Have any of you done this to your ex husband and got taken to task in court?

My brother's ex did all this. BUT, she did it because my brother and his new live in girlfriend were abusing all the kids in the house, including my niece and nephew. They both have mental health issues and substance abuse issues. They have both now been arrested for domestic violence in separate incidents.

So when I see posts like this, while I don't think it's as severe as what my idiot brother is doing, I do wonder if the poster has asked himself what, if anything, he's done to warrant the anger.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do these women continue to coerce these men into giving them the sperm to make these babies? It baffles me.

While I believe you are being facetious, I'd say its a matter of trust and some people are not worthy of that trust.

There is also the legal system that has evolved to protect a woman's right to reproductive freedom while not giving a male the same protections. It's a woman's legal right to terminate a pregnancy (which agree with 100%) however it is also a urologists right to deny an 18 year old male a vesicostomy for whatever reason. Even a urologist affiliated with Planned Parenthood, who are the bastion of reproductive freedom, thought nothing of asking what my parents though about grand kids from me when I tried to get snipped at 19 and telling me to come back in a year to make certain I was sure, this was my second visit as I was 18 when I tried to get snipped the first time. I got similar answers at 21 and 24 from different doctors. What sort of moral outrage would there be if a woman was told to come back in a year if she still wanted birth control or to terminate a pregnancy.

Telling a woman you don't want to have children, even documenting it in writing is no matter in the eyes of the law if she decides otherwise. If a woman wants to have recreational sex and something happens she has options, however a male is not afforded the same rights if she chooses to ignore his wishes and even has the power of the courts to protect her rights and enforce/support her choices while the only choice a male has is to abstain from all sexual activity as that is the only 100% form of birth control for him, excepting the big V which I covered above and even that has been proven to not be 100% in some cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do these women continue to coerce these men into giving them the sperm to make these babies? It baffles me.

While I believe you are being facetious, I'd say its a matter of trust and some people are not worthy of that trust.

There is also the legal system that has evolved to protect a woman's right to reproductive freedom while not giving a male the same protections. It's a woman's legal right to terminate a pregnancy (which agree with 100%) however it is also a urologists right to deny an 18 year old male a vesicostomy for whatever reason. Even a urologist affiliated with Planned Parenthood, who are the bastion of reproductive freedom, thought nothing of asking what my parents though about grand kids from me when I tried to get snipped at 19 and telling me to come back in a year to make certain I was sure, this was my second visit as I was 18 when I tried to get snipped the first time. I got similar answers at 21 and 24 from different doctors. What sort of moral outrage would there be if a woman was told to come back in a year if she still wanted birth control or to terminate a pregnancy.

Telling a woman you don't want to have children, even documenting it in writing is no matter in the eyes of the law if she decides otherwise. If a woman wants to have recreational sex and something happens she has options, however a male is not afforded the same rights if she chooses to ignore his wishes and even has the power of the courts to protect her rights and enforce/support her choices while the only choice a male has is to abstain from all sexual activity as that is the only 100% form of birth control for him, excepting the big V which I covered above and even that has been proven to not be 100% in some cases.

Doctors discuss fertility to women all the time.

I needed a medical procedure and was of baby bearing age but wanted no more children. The doctor did not recommend the procedure because I would not be able to carry children. But I don't want children. It did not matter. It is up to doctors to discuss these things with a patient.

Why is that a problem? You couldn't discuss the pros and cons? Maybe you were not old enough to make that decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do these women continue to coerce these men into giving them the sperm to make these babies? It baffles me.

While I believe you are being facetious, I'd say its a matter of trust and some people are not worthy of that trust.

There is also the legal system that has evolved to protect a woman's right to reproductive freedom while not giving a male the same protections. It's a woman's legal right to terminate a pregnancy (which agree with 100%) however it is also a urologists right to deny an 18 year old male a vesicostomy for whatever reason. Even a urologist affiliated with Planned Parenthood, who are the bastion of reproductive freedom, thought nothing of asking what my parents though about grand kids from me when I tried to get snipped at 19 and telling me to come back in a year to make certain I was sure, this was my second visit as I was 18 when I tried to get snipped the first time. I got similar answers at 21 and 24 from different doctors. What sort of moral outrage would there be if a woman was told to come back in a year if she still wanted birth control or to terminate a pregnancy.

Telling a woman you don't want to have children, even documenting it in writing is no matter in the eyes of the law if she decides otherwise. If a woman wants to have recreational sex and something happens she has options, however a male is not afforded the same rights if she chooses to ignore his wishes and even has the power of the courts to protect her rights and enforce/support her choices while the only choice a male has is to abstain from all sexual activity as that is the only 100% form of birth control for him, excepting the big V which I covered above and even that has been proven to not be 100% in some cases.

Doctors discuss fertility to women all the time.

I needed a medical procedure and was of baby bearing age but wanted no more children. The doctor did not recommend the procedure because I would not be able to carry children. But I don't want children. It did not matter. It is up to doctors to discuss these things with a patient.

Why is that a problem? You couldn't discuss the pros and cons? Maybe you were not old enough to make that decision.

At 18 I was legally able to sign on a dotted line and get shipped out to someplace sandy to kill or die for my country, I would be held responsible as an adult for any crimes I committed, I was able to vote, and sign legal contracts such as marriage. I think I was able to make the decision about how I wanted my body to be. A doctor has a responsibility to inform their patient so they can have informed consent but after that it's not the doctors choice about what I do with my body, the doctor performed his due diligence to inform me of the pro's and con's which was actually unnecessary as I could have told him almost all of them as well as the financial implications however that was not enough to convince him, or the doctors after him. Instead I was forced to rely on another person to share my views who could change her mind at anytime with absolutely no legal repercussions, she doesn't even have a legal obligation to tell me she's changed her mind and was actively attempting to become pregnant and that choice and the consequences of it are protect by law. As a male I can not force another human being to become a parent (legally anyway) but I do not have the same legal protection as stated by the the U.S. Court of Appeals "the Fourteenth Amendment does not deny to [the] State the power to treat different classes of persons in different ways."

This is getting way outside the bounds of this thread but I do thank you for an opportunity to express my views and I apologize for the thread jacking.