S/O How did you find out about a parent's affair and what has it done to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece was 6 years old when her father took her to Disney World. With his married AP, and her 5 year old son. The two kids shared one room, and the two adults shared the other.

My niece came home and never said word one to my sister about the other people they had spent so much time with. But she started tearing her hair out at the roots.

This is horrible. How could a parent be so selfish

You could ask the same thing about a wife who refuses to meet her husband’s sexual needs, despite promises otherwise.

Amen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found out as an adult. It didn't change anything because it has nothing to do with me. I don't see my mom as an extension of me - she is a wholly autonomous person with her own desires and wishes. She was, and is, an excellent mom to me, and nothing would change that. Her sex life is none of my business. Her relationship with my father (to whom she is still married) is none of my business. Who am I to decide she should have denied herself? I don't own her.

Curious how you found out in adulthood? Did one of them tell you? If so, why?

My dad told me, and mom confirmed later. I told them it doesn't change anything for me so that's that. I won't get involved.

I'm close as could be with my mom, and I have a somewhat distant relationship with my dad. I don't see how their sex life is any of my business. They don't owe me sexual fidelity.

I'm always amused with DCUM arguing there is only one possible way to feel about whatever, and if you don't, there must be something wrong with you. A dead baby, OK, not too many different ways to feel about it. But sexual behavior of one's parents? That's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It made me realize that my mom had been lying to me and my dad fir years. I could never look at her in the same way, knowing she is capable of long-term deception.

It caused me to question her judgment and ability to make good choices.

It cost us our membership in our church and all my friends and activities there.

It caused me to lose a good friend-- her AP's daughter.

Our relationship has never truly recovered, as she is still dating him.

Cult member. That's why she left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older brother told me when I was 6 years old. My father and ow have a child the same age as my younger sister, who is 2 years younger than me. My parents worked things out, half sister was adopted by ow's husband. It made it very difficult for me to trust men, but I realize people make mistakes. It also made me committed to fidelity in all of my relationships and, especially, my marriage.

Not saying you’re a troll, but this entire fact pattern was the subject of a very heated and popular thread on the relationship forum a few months ago.

[Anonymous]

I can't remember how I found out.

But as how it affected me - I am the op from the "dating multiple people" thread and maybe there's a relationship between my dads infidelity and the things I express there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It made me realize that my mom had been lying to me and my dad fir years. I could never look at her in the same way, knowing she is capable of long-term deception.

It caused me to question her judgment and ability to make good choices.

It cost us our membership in our church and all my friends and activities there.

It caused me to lose a good friend-- her AP's daughter.

Our relationship has never truly recovered, as she is still dating him.

Cult member. That's why she left.

It was a Presbyterian church and her AP was the pastor, that is why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece was 6 years old when her father took her to Disney World. With his married AP, and her 5 year old son. The two kids shared one room, and the two adults shared the other.

My niece came home and never said word one to my sister about the other people they had spent so much time with. But she started tearing her hair out at the roots.

This is horrible. How could a parent be so selfish

You could ask the same thing about a wife who refuses to meet her husband’s sexual needs, despite promises otherwise.

Amen

Sure. Cause we all know that men never, ever cheat for any reason other than their wives refusing the marital bed. Never. Not ever. There is only ONE reason that a man cheats.