My child's name in on a KILL list

[Anonymous]

FTR, OP has never said the boy brought a gun to school or has access to a gun or has a bad home life. WTF people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

+1. Stop excusing her behavior.

OK people. DD claims she has never done or said anything to the boy. I told her she must have done something or else her name wouldn't be on the list! She maintains she hasn't. DD was involved in 2 lunch room incidents last year. It was a bunch of boy and a bunch of girls fighting over the same table. Some boys got in trouble because of this. Everyone was talked to by the school. Kill List boy is one of the boys in the group.

nope, you are being snowed

Two things:
1.) your daughter is a bully or hangs out with the mean girls. 4 kids, NONE have been involved in any lunch room incidents much less 2......
2.) give the school a deadline to deal with it or you will take it to the police. Obviously they need to deal with the child who has a kill list but more importantly your DD and friends who are driving a child to have a kill list.

Don't know why you think you know more about the past than I do. You exclaim statements as thought you were there. You weren't. SO please stop. This is the last I will address you. DD reported the boys mean behavior and physical violence to the school last year. That got the boys in trouble. So there.

I don't need to know your past. Your child is no different that the typical mean girl/mean girl crowd that and their mothers think they are just darling and would NEVER be involved in anything mean. It is the boys alone right?

That was my first post BTW. There are more than just me saying you have a mean girl. Sometimes the truth hurts. Your child is mean or hangs with the mean kids. Good news is that she is young and can possibly be turned around. Parent your child now because a 4th grader's kill list isn't nearly as scary as a middle schooler's kill list.

Wow. Just wow. smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell, let's say her kid IS a mean bully. When she and other children are shot by an upset kid, they become victims. Irregardless of what prompted it, if a child is talking about bringing a gun to school, the police should be notified immediately. The school and parents can all sort out the behavior, but absolutely many more kids than just this group of boys and girls could be impacted.

This.

If you bully someone, killing them is not the answer.

I can't believe that some of you are justifying that fact. What is wrong with you people?

No one justified killing bullies.

You haven't read this entire thread.

Yes indeed I have. Please point out the quote that states shooters are justified in killing. The only thing that has been said is that OP can work with her daughter on being kind.

So, a boy threatens to kill a girl - and it's on the OP to make her daughter more kind? Where are you getting that the daughter is mean? Do you blame rape victims too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FTR, OP has never said the boy brought a gun to school or has access to a gun or has a bad home life. WTF people?

The same people who say the daughter is bullying the boy.

DONT MAKE SH!T UP PEOPLE!!!

[Anonymous]

1. This is a fourth grader. I highly doubt he's going to show up and shoot people this year, HOWEVER -

2. You need to raise hell because sane children don't say things like this, and if the police isn't involved and clued in, and this boy's parents don't get him to a therapist and psychologist, he could be the next high school shooter in a few years.

3. And by raising hell I mean getting together with ALL the parents whose children you know are on the list and talking to them, as well as contacting the school and demanding they take it seriously, and if no one else calls the police, call them yourself.

4. Don't downplay your child's role in this or the other children's role. Perhaps they bullied him, perhaps not, but the reality is that he FELT bullied. In your communication with the police and the school, always be factual, objective and fair. Do not reject bullying accusations out of hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FTR, OP has never said the boy brought a gun to school or has access to a gun or has a bad home life. WTF people?

The same people who say the daughter is bullying the boy.

DONT MAKE SH!T UP PEOPLE!!!

According to OP, her daughter reported some other kids' fighting to the school, including that of the kid who has the list. So her daughter might well be on the list, not because she was bullying the kid, but because she got him in trouble. It doesn't really matter--if I learn that a kid has a kill list and is threatening to bring a gun to school, I want to know NOW what the school is doing to keep all the kids safe. If the cops are not involved yet, I will involve them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

+1. Stop excusing her behavior.

OK people. DD claims she has never done or said anything to the boy. I told her she must have done something or else her name wouldn't be on the list! She maintains she hasn't. DD was involved in 2 lunch room incidents last year. It was a bunch of boy and a bunch of girls fighting over the same table. Some boys got in trouble because of this. Everyone was talked to by the school. Kill List boy is one of the boys in the group.

nope, you are being snowed

Two things:

1.) your daughter is a bully or hangs out with the mean girls. 4 kids, NONE have been involved in any lunch room incidents much less 2......

2.) give the school a deadline to deal with it or you will take it to the police. Obviously they need to deal with the child who has a kill list but more importantly your DD and friends who are driving a child to have a kill list.

Are people actually thinking that a bullying girl is more of an issue than a kid saying he's going to bring a gun to school? A bullying girl should be dealt with, yes (don't know if this applies; OP, talk to the school about this) but a kid talking about a gun requires a report to the police immediately. No "giving a deadline" nonsense.

Agree. I am shocked at these accusations. How do you know the boy didn't like like her and she rejected him in his eyes. Or she took the last chocolate milk one day. Or she just said she didn't want to play wit him at recess. Or she doesn't want to sit next to him in art. Who cares???? Either way, the boy is mentally unstable. HE WANTS TO BRING A GUN TO SCHOOL.

Making the OP feels this backward guilt and making her think her daughter is a bully and not a victim right now is EVERYTHING that is wrong with our society

[Anonymous]

Being on a list does not make one a victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being on a list does not make one a victim.

Really?! A written list of people you intend to kill couldn't possibly cause fear in someone? Or does your definition of victim only include people who are actually physically injured?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
1. This is a fourth grader. I highly doubt he's going to show up and shoot people this year, HOWEVER -

2. You need to raise hell because sane children don't say things like this, and if the police isn't involved and clued in, and this boy's parents don't get him to a therapist and psychologist, he could be the next high school shooter in a few years.

3. And by raising hell I mean getting together with ALL the parents whose children you know are on the list and talking to them, as well as contacting the school and demanding they take it seriously, and if no one else calls the police, call them yourself.

4. Don't downplay your child's role in this or the other children's role. Perhaps they bullied him, perhaps not, but the reality is that he FELT bullied. In your communication with the police and the school, always be factual, objective and fair. Do not reject bullying accusations out of hand.

Voice of reason

[Anonymous]

OP, please tell us which school this is for the safety of those of us who have children in APS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. This is a fourth grader. I highly doubt he's going to show up and shoot people this year, HOWEVER -

2. You need to raise hell because sane children don't say things like this, and if the police isn't involved and clued in, and this boy's parents don't get him to a therapist and psychologist, he could be the next high school shooter in a few years.

3. And by raising hell I mean getting together with ALL the parents whose children you know are on the list and talking to them, as well as contacting the school and demanding they take it seriously, and if no one else calls the police, call them yourself.

4. Don't downplay your child's role in this or the other children's role. Perhaps they bullied him, perhaps not, but the reality is that he FELT bullied. In your communication with the police and the school, always be factual, objective and fair. Do not reject bullying accusations out of hand.

Voice of reason

Nope, I disagree. Just because a child FELT bullied (and right now we don't even know if that is why he made the kill list, that is all speculation) it doesn't mean her child played any role in it unless something comes out that shows she did do something. This generation over abuses the words mean girls and bully boys. Someone a child getting their feelings hurt by a situation doesn't equal bully. I refuse to teach my daughter to appease to any boys or girls all of the time. This leads to guilt-ridden poor decisions they don't feel comfortable about as a teen and young adult.

The boy could be an absolute lunatic. Right now, she told the mom she has't bullied and that would be enough for me, especially if she has never lied before. Would I listed to the boy's or the parents rationale? Sure and then we would go back to the drawing board. What if it was because he wasn't invited to her birthday party? Is that being a bully. What if it was because she won't sit with him on the bus because she prefers her girlfriend neighbor that she is closer with? Is that bullying. The is a fine line and if you assume your daughter has done the worst, how will you ever make her feel worthy if you find out you jumped the gun on pointing fingers at her. She will lose confidence and you lose her trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't need to know your past. Your child is no different that the typical mean girl/mean girl crowd that and their mothers think they are just darling and would NEVER be involved in anything mean. It is the boys alone right?

That was my first post BTW. There are more than just me saying you have a mean girl. Sometimes the truth hurts. Your child is mean or hangs with the mean kids. Good news is that she is young and can possibly be turned around. Parent your child now because a 4th grader's kill list isn't nearly as scary as a middle schooler's kill list.

Wow. Just wow. smh

Wow, PP, you sound unhinged. Really, take a moment to examine yourself. You assume that because some boy got angry and put a girl's name on a kill list that she must be a "mean girl." You don't need to know her past? You just KNOW that her child is the typical mean girl? Wow. Just Wow. Please tell us what omniscient pill you're taking that allows you to see all and know all.

[Anonymous]

Former school counselor here.

I was always amazed at the number of incidents that were minimized and swept under the rug so the school's reputation wasn't tarnished "on the record".

I met with many parents privately and urged them to contact the police when the school would not. My primary concern was the health and safety of the students (not the school's reputation).

Talk to the police. They may say, "We're already looking into it." or they might say, "Thank you for letting us know, we were not already aware."

My point is, sometimes administrators will tell parents that they've notified the police when it hasn't actually happened.

Try to think about how you would feel if your daughter's school was in the news because this boy acted upon his anger and you didn't do all you could.

DON'T WAIT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Law enforcement person here - call the police. Now.

This is not a "school" issue. As someone who work with law enforcement after multiple school shootings, the one thing EVERYONE says is "I wish someone had called the police sooner"

Don't be that person we are interviewing who says that.

Shouldn't I give the school a chance to act accordingly?

To act accordingly is to treat as an actual one and not as a child's play. To people who think this is only fourth grade and be light-hearted about it--unless you were ever in this parent's shoes you're not qualified to call this as a minor incident. Cognitively, a fourth grader most likely can't wrap his or her head around the consequences of murder and physically they're absolutely able to do so.