My child's name in on a KILL list

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And for the safety of others, what school is this exactly?

Has this been answered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law enforcement person here - call the police. Now.

This is not a "school" issue. As someone who work with law enforcement after multiple school shootings, the one thing EVERYONE says is "I wish someone had called the police sooner"

Don't be that person we are interviewing who says that.

+ 1,000,000 - Did OP call the police?

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I think the boy is hurting and the list was the wrong way for him to deal with his feelings. The threats as well. I would keep in close contact with the school about what is being done to ensure the kids stay safe. But some things.
1. If I had to guess I would say there is probably a 99% chance the boy has no guns at home nor any direct access to any.
2. Kids say dumb things when they are angry and hurt and although it should be taken seriously and investigated I think people need to realize that the amount of kids being bullied is so so high and other than the bullied kids having some long term damage-the threats are largely unfounded. Think about how many school incidents there have been of kids bringing a gun to school and intentionally causing harm to someone. It is very small considering how many kids are seriously bullied on a daily basis.
3. The child who made these threats should be taken out of school and be put into therapy to make sure he is safe to be in school and also for his own well being.
4. I have been on both sides. Was a bully/hung out with the mean kids in 5th grade and also experienced being bullied in 8th grade. Your daughter is lying about her involvement. I never once admitted any wrong doing and believe me I was a mean kid in elementary school.

So protect your child but also understand that your daughter has involvement whether she admits it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the APS parents who reached out directly to ACPD about this and sent the link to the thread. Here is the response I received on Saturday:

"I want to thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. I want you to know that we worked with the school and the students’ parents to ensure that no children were in danger and to ensure that the young man received the services he needed. We appreciate concerned parents and citizens bringing things of concern to our attention."

This is probably more scary - the kids is getting what services? Talked to an elementary school guidance counselor once and maybe now and then when the guidance counselor sees the kid says "how are you doing?" And then claims to have "followed up multiple times"

I will be honest - in these situations I think the school and police need to be forced to a higher standard and explain the services being received as well as the safety plan in lace.

The services being received are none of your business nor would knowing them make any difference to your child's health, safety or well being. You should know your school's safety plans.

Yes, I actually think knowing would make a difference to all of those..

It would make the professionals who are responsible for referring for help and those who are helping accountable. The public and the police know what services were to be received. If an incident happens, they can clearly say if and what services the child received. The providers then are accountable if they feel their services are not adequate they can push for additional services.
This would prevent the current situation where everyone thinks it is someone else's responsibility and no one is accountable. And most important, it would help the child so he doesn't simply get shuffled off or forgotten.

[Anonymous]

1. To the extent your DD was “indirectly” being mean or bullying, deal with it now. Without whataboutisming the other kid. Full stop.

2. My FCPS kid was playing tag at recess and was tagged. He yell “I’m going to kill you” and chased the boy who tagged him. He was pulled from recess. Taken to the AP’s office. Held there until a parent could pick up. Not allowed back in school until he had met with the school psychologist, and him, us and his teacher plus Admin had met with the psycychologist.

This was almost a decade ago, when he was 5 and in the first quarter of K. The school says they had seen no other concerning behavior, except this incident. But they had a zero tolerance policy, and it had to apply as much to a K kid playing tag as a 16 year old boy with a history of violence threatening his GF. And had to intervene for all “threats to. Kill”— even in K, even in the middle of an active game, even for a otherwise getting 4s in behavior. They said if he had screamed “I hate you,” he would have even pulled aside and counseled by the teacher. My sat out the rest of recess. But “threats to kill” triggered a chain of events that the school said was mandatory.

The school also said his was letting him off easily. Technically they should/ could have expelled. But if they did, when we appealed, they were going to look like idiots, because this is a 5 year old with no record of violence.

BTW, the kid was ether scared straight or was never crooked to being with. Went on to succeed in FCPS. Getting ready to graduate from TJ. Introverted, gets along well with his peers, never had another discipline concern at the school, in a program to tutor little kids, etc. he did get an ADGPHD diagnosis in MS, so maybe the impulsive piece???

But, if they could do this to my kid, you can and should expect answers and that the school follos written procedure with this kid. Especially Sandy Hook happened after my kid was discilined. Every school should have aThreats or Violence procedure in writing. And in the DMV, I am almost certain every school does

You do not need spzecific info about this kid. But they should be able to tell you that they treT this as a Level xxxxx offense, and are or are not following the written procedure. And what precautions will be taken before the kid return to class (like a psychologist sign off). You you do not get this info, call the police and let them sort it out. A kid threatened to kill your kid. In writing. It is appropriate to ask to see the discipline policy, to be told if people are following it.

Otherwise police.

[Anonymous]

^^. Sorry typos. iPhone.

[Anonymous]

We’re they going to bake him into a meat pie like Walter Frey’s sons

[Anonymous]

OP - has this issue been addressed yet? A concerned APS parent here. If this were my child's school, I would definitely want the police involved! And very interested to know the name of the school - like some others on this thread. Our supposedly awesome APS elementary school has a very lax policy when it comes to handling bullying or misdemeanors like these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

+1. Stop excusing her behavior.

OK people. DD claims she has never done or said anything to the boy. I told her she must have done something or else her name wouldn't be on the list! She maintains she hasn't. DD was involved in 2 lunch room incidents last year. It was a bunch of boy and a bunch of girls fighting over the same table. Some boys got in trouble because of this. Everyone was talked to by the school. Kill List boy is one of the boys in the group.

nope, you are being snowed

Two things:

1.) your daughter is a bully or hangs out with the mean girls. 4 kids, NONE have been involved in any lunch room incidents much less 2......

2.) give the school a deadline to deal with it or you will take it to the police. Obviously they need to deal with the child who has a kill list but more importantly your DD and friends who are driving a child to have a kill list.

Are people actually thinking that a bullying girl is more of an issue than a kid saying he's going to bring a gun to school? A bullying girl should be dealt with, yes (don't know if this applies; OP, talk to the school about this) but a kid talking about a gun requires a report to the police immediately. No "giving a deadline" nonsense.

No. What they are saying anything about ranking the issues. However, there are some signs that this daughter is not an innocent bystander like she claims. And this mom probably should learn more about who her daughter is, and what her character is like. That's all.

No one lets a kill list be found unless they want it to be found. Certainly this is a serious situation that probably needs law enforcement, but perhaps the boy's goal was a cry for help in a universe ignoring his plight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. To the extent your DD was “indirectly” being mean or bullying, deal with it now. Without whataboutisming the other kid. Full stop.

2. My FCPS kid was playing tag at recess and was tagged. He yell “I’m going to kill you” and chased the boy who tagged him. He was pulled from recess. Taken to the AP’s office. Held there until a parent could pick up. Not allowed back in school until he had met with the school psychologist, and him, us and his teacher plus Admin had met with the psycychologist.

This was almost a decade ago, when he was 5 and in the first quarter of K. The school says they had seen no other concerning behavior, except this incident. But they had a zero tolerance policy, and it had to apply as much to a K kid playing tag as a 16 year old boy with a history of violence threatening his GF. And had to intervene for all “threats to. Kill”— even in K, even in the middle of an active game, even for a otherwise getting 4s in behavior. They said if he had screamed “I hate you,” he would have even pulled aside and counseled by the teacher. My sat out the rest of recess. But “threats to kill” triggered a chain of events that the school said was mandatory.

The school also said his was letting him off easily. Technically they should/ could have expelled. But if they did, when we appealed, they were going to look like idiots, because this is a 5 year old with no record of violence.

BTW, the kid was ether scared straight or was never crooked to being with. Went on to succeed in FCPS. Getting ready to graduate from TJ. Introverted, gets along well with his peers, never had another discipline concern at the school, in a program to tutor little kids, etc. he did get an ADGPHD diagnosis in MS, so maybe the impulsive piece???

But, if they could do this to my kid, you can and should expect answers and that the school follos written procedure with this kid. Especially Sandy Hook happened after my kid was discilined. Every school should have aThreats or Violence procedure in writing. And in the DMV, I am almost certain every school does

You do not need spzecific info about this kid. But they should be able to tell you that they treT this as a Level xxxxx offense, and are or are not following the written procedure. And what precautions will be taken before the kid return to class (like a psychologist sign off). You you do not get this info, call the police and let them sort it out. A kid threatened to kill your kid. In writing. It is appropriate to ask to see the discipline policy, to be told if people are following it.

Otherwise police.

Thanks for sharing that.

Zero tolerance is a funny thing. It is great they took things seriously about that statement (and I'm glad it was just an expression). I worry about zero tolerance because it gives sociopaths all the cues they need about how to avoid anyone noticing them.

[Anonymous]

I'm interested in your theory about how zero tolerance gives sociopaths the cues they need to go undetected.