My child's name in on a KILL list

[Anonymous]

Got a phone call from the administrator that DD was indirectly involved in some incidents in school w.r.t. name calling and meanness. The official needed our (the parents) help to get more info out of my child (after the school attempts didn't bear much fruit I guess).

I learned from my child that her name and several other girls are on a certain boy's "Kill List". I have told the school everything I know. They are aware of the Kill List and are investigating. The kids are 4th grade. This is APSVA. My prior experience is that school policy is to maintain anonymity and they won't discuss anything that doesn't relate directly to your own child. The school has spoken to only 3 of the kids whose names are on the Kill List. However, I know some of the other parents whose kids names are on the list but have not been contacted. Should I just remain quiet ? The boy has said he wants to bring his gun to school.

Also, other than letting the school handle this, there's not much else I can or should do right? I do not know the boy's parents.

[Anonymous]

Are the police involved? They would be if I were in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the police involved? They would be if I were in your situation.

I have no idea as the school is handling this.

[Anonymous]

You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

[Anonymous]

Law enforcement person here - call the police. Now.

This is not a "school" issue. As someone who work with law enforcement after multiple school shootings, the one thing EVERYONE says is "I wish someone had called the police sooner"

Don't be that person we are interviewing who says that.

[Anonymous]

And for the safety of others, what school is this exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

+1. Stop excusing her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

Blame the victim. Nice

Op, I'd schedule an in person meeting with the principal for today. Ask all your questions above. From there, I would determine next steps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law enforcement person here - call the police. Now.

This is not a "school" issue. As someone who work with law enforcement after multiple school shootings, the one thing EVERYONE says is "I wish someone had called the police sooner"

Don't be that person we are interviewing who says that.

Shouldn't I give the school a chance to act accordingly?

[Anonymous]

What school is this? I would be pretty worried. Do you know the boys parents? I would hate to involve the police, but a kill list and a desire to bring a gun to school would freak me out. I would probably want to reach out to the parents to make sure he doesn't actually have any access to guns. I would also want to know that the school is actually on top of handling it.

[Anonymous]

Can't they just call the child's parents and have them take away his gun? It seems like it is scaring the kids on the kill list for no good reason. Do they know if the gun is even real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

Blame the victim. Nice

Op, I'd schedule an in person meeting with the principal for today. Ask all your questions above. From there, I would determine next steps.

Her daughter is not a victim. Her name is on a list due to her own behavior probably drawn up by a sad 4th grader. Most of these things are completely unfounded and uncover long term bullying.

DD was indirectly involved in some incidents in school w.r.t. name calling and meanness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Law enforcement person here - call the police. Now.

This is not a "school" issue. As someone who work with law enforcement after multiple school shootings, the one thing EVERYONE says is "I wish someone had called the police sooner"

Don't be that person we are interviewing who says that.

Shouldn't I give the school a chance to act accordingly?

If this was about someone stealing your daughter's lunch money, yes. This is a threat of death. Do you feel comfortable with just waiting and seeing how this plays out? I'd be asking the school when they are contacting the police or if I should. If they demure, I'd call the police myself.

[Anonymous]

If my kid was on a kill list I would be down at the school finding out if the cops were involved or what. You should not reply "I have no idea" to anything, OP. Get down there and get involved. "the school is handling this" --you go figure out how the school is handling this and if they are handling it competantly or not. Do not be complacent. Take time off from work.

I also would consider switching schools.

I know this is all a PITA but holy cow.

Years ago, we had a nutjob dad at our school, who had decided that all the girls in the class "had the devil in them" and their moms too. LSS, the day the school was going to give him a (sort of a private) restraining order, I kept my kids out of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can handle your daughter. Start by teaching kindness and empathy.

Blame the victim. Nice

Op, I'd schedule an in person meeting with the principal for today. Ask all your questions above. From there, I would determine next steps.

she is hardly a victim and more likely, a bully.