Spouse not on wedding invitation

[Anonymous]

For something like this, I'd ask. It's really unusual, and beyond rude, to exclude someone's spouse from a wedding invitation. I would assume some kind of mistake or mix-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For something like this, I'd ask. It's really unusual, and beyond rude, to exclude someone's spouse from a wedding invitation. I would assume some kind of mistake or mix-up.

Wrong. People are trying to keep weddings cheap, so instead of narrowing down the guest list in other ways, they're excluding +1's. It's so rude and tacky - but it's what they're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For something like this, I'd ask. It's really unusual, and beyond rude, to exclude someone's spouse from a wedding invitation. I would assume some kind of mistake or mix-up.

Wrong. People are trying to keep weddings cheap, so instead of narrowing down the guest list in other ways, they're excluding +1's. It's so rude and tacky - but it's what they're doing.

A spouse is not a +1.

[Anonymous]

I got an invitation to a baby shower with just my name on it and figured it was just for women. When I got there, everyone's partner was there, too, and the hostess asked where DH was. So I think its fine to ask the bride instead of assuming.

It may be a generational thing. DH got an invitation (evite) to an engagement party. No mention of me (or spouses). It was a colleague from work, much younger. He went alone and I was one of the only spouses/dates who didn't show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For something like this, I'd ask. It's really unusual, and beyond rude, to exclude someone's spouse from a wedding invitation. I would assume some kind of mistake or mix-up.

Wrong. People are trying to keep weddings cheap, so instead of narrowing down the guest list in other ways, they're excluding +1's. It's so rude and tacky - but it's what they're doing.

A spouse is not a +1.

I understand that. Sadly, some younger women see them as such.

[Anonymous]

I would ask because a spouse is different than a +1.

Honestly, my first thought was not rudeness or etiquette error but just an honest mistake. The person addressing the envelopes may have lost their place and did a sloppy job. If I was the bride I'd want to know about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask because a spouse is different than a +1.

Honestly, my first thought was not rudeness or etiquette error but just an honest mistake. The person addressing the envelopes may have lost their place and did a sloppy job. If I was the bride I'd want to know about that.

DO NOT put the bride on the spot like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask because a spouse is different than a +1.

Honestly, my first thought was not rudeness or etiquette error but just an honest mistake. The person addressing the envelopes may have lost their place and did a sloppy job. If I was the bride I'd want to know about that.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I got an invitation to a baby shower with just my name on it and figured it was just for women. When I got there, everyone's partner was there, too, and the hostess asked where DH was. So I think its fine to ask the bride instead of assuming.

It may be a generational thing. DH got an invitation (evite) to an engagement party. No mention of me (or spouses). It was a colleague from work, much younger. He went alone and I was one of the only spouses/dates who didn't show up.

Seems perfectly normal to me (mid-30s) to have a partner attend a baby shower or engagement party, but only if they are invited! Are you saying that among 20s/early 30s/millennials, there is an assumption that a partner or boyfriend/girlfriend is automatically invited to an event even if the invitation doesn't say so?

[Anonymous]

Send her a quick email or text. "Just got your wedding invitation - how exciting! I am checking to see if I can make it. I noticed that you didn't include John on the invite and I don't want to assume it includes him without checking. So happy for you!"

And see what she says.

I think it's pretty rare (and poor) to exclude a spouse so it's worth giving her benefit of the doubt.

[Anonymous]

It is very rude OP. Just ask and then decide from there. I'm guessing she grew up lower class and poor white trash and doesn't know any better

[Anonymous]

I'm going with answer 1. Maybe she's on a budget and is trying to limit the guest list. Yes, it's unusual, but I'm of the camp that you don't have to do everything with your spouse. Just go, catch up with other college friends and have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going with answer 1. Maybe she's on a budget and is trying to limit the guest list. Yes, it's unusual, but I'm of the camp that you don't have to do everything with your spouse. Just go, catch up with other college friends and have fun.

A married couple is a social unit. You don't invite one to a social even without the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going with answer 1. Maybe she's on a budget and is trying to limit the guest list. Yes, it's unusual, but I'm of the camp that you don't have to do everything with your spouse. Just go, catch up with other college friends and have fun.

That's fine, but she doesn't get to decide that within the rules of etiquette. OP can decide if she'd like to go alone.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me last year. My husband was invited to an old friend's wedding and I was left off the invitation. He asked his friend and he said the invitation was for him only. Turns out he invited my husband's ex girlfriend that's why I wasn't invited.