Rising High School Senior just decided to extend his trip...

[Anonymous]

You obviously redshirted him and this is the down side of that. He is an adult and should be going into college.

You need to relax.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I never heard of the term "red shirting" until just a few years ago. We were out of the country and didn't want to start him in kindergarten in February when we got back so we waited until the following year. A good number of his classmates turned 18 this summer, too. I didn't know it was such a big deal to wait a year. Apparently to a few of you it is. My bad.

Yes, his applications are done - essays completed - and he did a college class this summer that he aced. No high school summer homework except a reading list which he had finished in June.

Again, thank you everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I never heard of the term "red shirting" until just a few years ago. We were out of the country and didn't want to start him in kindergarten in February when we got back so we waited until the following year. A good number of his classmates turned 18 this summer, too. I didn't know it was such a big deal to wait a year. Apparently to a few of you it is. My bad.

Yes, his applications are done - essays completed - and he did a college class this summer that he aced. No high school summer homework except a reading list which he had finished in June.

Again, thank you everyone.

What classes is he taking this year? Is he all AP?

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you have raised a great, hardworking kid. He is on a very special trip and yes, maybe got too excited in Sweden and didn't think through this extension of the trip. He will definitely be experiencing jet lag on his return, and he is risking travel delays interfering on his scheduled return to school. That can definitely happen. But all adults, especially brand new ones, make mistakes, and he will learn from any consequences that arise. Let him make his own mistakes especially a situation like this where it really doesn't seem like even the worst consequence - missing the first day of school because of say, a late summer storm causing a travel delay - is the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you call the gf's parents to at least find out where they're going and if they'll have adults with them?

Not sure what you can do about it at this point tbh, but he's definitely taught you that he can't be trusted with that level of freedom.

He is an adult.

This is one of those things that people don't think about when they redshirt.

+1 . I keep telling people it is not fun having an 18year old or even a 19 year old at home as a high school senior. People rarely think about this when they red shirt.Many of my sons older friends had turbulent senior years and were in constant conflict with their parents. My son who went away to college at 17 seemed happier to be at home under our roof until he left for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you call the gf's parents to at least find out where they're going and if they'll have adults with them?

Not sure what you can do about it at this point tbh, but he's definitely taught you that he can't be trusted with that level of freedom.

He is an adult.

This is one of those things that people don't think about when they redshirt.

+1 . I keep telling people it is not fun having an 18year old or even a 19 year old at home as a high school senior. People rarely think about this when they red shirt.Many of my sons older friends had turbulent senior years and were in constant conflict with their parents. My son who went away to college at 17 seemed happier to be at home under our roof until he left for college.

This was not the case with OP's son and I hardly call the top student, President of the senior class who decided to stay in Europe for six extra days on a trip he paid for by himself in "constant conflict with his parents"!

My DS was purposely redshirted and was a very happy senior and great student who played baseball for an Ivy League school and just graduated. Redshirting works out sometimes. He was a great high school senior - no issues at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you call the gf's parents to at least find out where they're going and if they'll have adults with them?

Not sure what you can do about it at this point tbh, but he's definitely taught you that he can't be trusted with that level of freedom.

He is an adult.

This is one of those things that people don't think about when they redshirt.

+1 . I keep telling people it is not fun having an 18year old or even a 19 year old at home as a high school senior. People rarely think about this when they red shirt.Many of my sons older friends had turbulent senior years and were in constant conflict with their parents. My son who went away to college at 17 seemed happier to be at home under our roof until he left for college.

This was not the case with OP's son and I hardly call the top student, President of the senior class who decided to stay in Europe for six extra days on a trip he paid for by himself in "constant conflict with his parents"!

My DS was purposely redshirted and was a very happy senior and great student who played baseball for an Ivy League school and just graduated. Redshirting works out sometimes. He was a great high school senior - no issues at all.

I'm sure Op's son will do just fine because his parents are already giving him a fairly loose leash and he is behaving responsibly and handling the freedom well.

It might be hard for him to come back to living with his parents and attending HS after having nearly 3 weeks of freedom, living as a young adult with his girlfriend in another country. That was an amazing experience. I think that some pps see the potential for conflict with his parents. He'll likely just roll up his sleeves and get back into school/work and his class leadership until it's time to go off to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 18 is a magical age at which you get to do whatever you want, especially while still in HS and living at home.

Not sure what you do, OP, but I would be furious too. And not just at lack of control - at the demonstrated lack of maturity and courtesy.

This. People are acting like this is a college kid, instead of a high schooler who's obviously counting on Mom & Dad to go buy his school supplies so he'll be ready for Day One. He's legally an adult, but he's still a kid in reality.

Welk, he's the age of a college kid. The fact that his parents presumably decided to redshift him years ago doesn't make him any less of an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 18 is a magical age at which you get to do whatever you want, especially while still in HS and living at home.

Not sure what you do, OP, but I would be furious too. And not just at lack of control - at the demonstrated lack of maturity and courtesy.

This. People are acting like this is a college kid, instead of a high schooler who's obviously counting on Mom & Dad to go buy his school supplies so he'll be ready for Day One. He's legally an adult, but he's still a kid in reality.

Well, he's the age of a college kid. The fact that his parents presumably decided to redshirt him years ago doesn't make him any less of an adult.

^fixed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 18 is a magical age at which you get to do whatever you want, especially while still in HS and living at home.

Not sure what you do, OP, but I would be furious too. And not just at lack of control - at the demonstrated lack of maturity and courtesy.

This. People are acting like this is a college kid, instead of a high schooler who's obviously counting on Mom & Dad to go buy his school supplies so he'll be ready for Day One. He's legally an adult, but he's still a kid in reality.

Welk, he's the age of a college kid. The fact that his parents presumably decided to redshift him years ago doesn't make him any less of an adult.

They didn't "red shirt" him! They held off sending him to kindergarten because they were in a foreign country!

God, you people are nuts. Way to turn a great thread into shit.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you're so angry, OP.

Do you not trust him to arrange his life? Can't he enjoy himself this one time? Will he have many opportunities to travel in this way?
Is he starting a particularly difficult program at university?

We are an international family and understand that sometimes travel is important, and jet lag has to be dealt with. I can certify from personal experience that recuperation is easier at 18 than in middle age!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You obviously redshirted him and this is the down side of that. He is an adult and should be going into college.

You need to relax.

I hope you're getting help for your 'redshirt' issue. Your fixation on this is unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand why you're so angry, OP.

Do you not trust him to arrange his life? Can't he enjoy himself this one time? Will he have many opportunities to travel in this way?
Is he starting a particularly difficult program at university?

We are an international family and understand that sometimes travel is important, and jet lag has to be dealt with. I can certify from personal experience that recuperation is easier at 18 than in middle age!

Sorry, I missed that your son was in high school. He won't even have to deal with a transition to university, then. An even smaller deal.

Please relax. He will be gone in a year and will perhaps be far away with no family nearby to help him. It's good that he should experience jet lag and the consequences of his actions while he's still in high school and living with you. He will leave for college all the wiser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 18 is a magical age at which you get to do whatever you want, especially while still in HS and living at home.

Not sure what you do, OP, but I would be furious too. And not just at lack of control - at the demonstrated lack of maturity and courtesy.

This. People are acting like this is a college kid, instead of a high schooler who's obviously counting on Mom & Dad to go buy his school supplies so he'll be ready for Day One. He's legally an adult, but he's still a kid in reality.

Welk, he's the age of a college kid. The fact that his parents presumably decided to redshift him years ago doesn't make him any less of an adult.

eh, my kid will be turning 18 years old towards the beginning of his senior year. I promise you - he was not red shirted. He simply missed the Kindergarten cut off date by about 2 weeks.

He is big for his age so I know that some of the other parents think that we "red shirted" him. We didn't.

Most kids turn 18 at some point during their senior year, don't they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 18 is a magical age at which you get to do whatever you want, especially while still in HS and living at home.

Not sure what you do, OP, but I would be furious too. And not just at lack of control - at the demonstrated lack of maturity and courtesy.

This. People are acting like this is a college kid, instead of a high schooler who's obviously counting on Mom & Dad to go buy his school supplies so he'll be ready for Day One. He's legally an adult, but he's still a kid in reality.

Welk, he's the age of a college kid. The fact that his parents presumably decided to redshift him years ago doesn't make him any less of an adult.

They didn't "red shirt" him! They held off sending him to kindergarten because they were in a foreign country!

God, you people are nuts. Way to turn a great thread into shit.

"Holding off" on sending a kid a to kindergarten -- regardless of the reason-- IS redshirting! And an 18-year-old who is a rising senior in high school --regardless of the reason -- is no less of an adult than an 18-year-old who is about to start college/just started college.