Rising High School Senior just decided to extend his trip...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are more laid back about sexual habits among teenagers. It's a generalisation, of course, but it's also true. 18 year old boy and his girlfriend? Of course they're having a lot of sex.

As it is, I'm not sure what the big deal is that he decided to extend the trip by an extra six days. He's 18, about to go off to college. I can see being upset that the amount of time left with the son before he leaves for college is now substantially reduced, but that's life and there's always holidays and weekends.

Read the thread he's not in college. He's a high school senior.

Not sure why this thread is deating teen sex habits, but okay I've been told European kids regularly start having sex at 12 and 13 years old is that something we should model?

"You've been told..." Yeah, that is scientific. You sound like trump - just repeating things you "heard".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is probably pregnant by now

Learned from the duck crowd. Find the good ones early.

I know you meant this to get a rise out of people, but this is exactly how my friend's first grand child was conceived, 17 years ago. They were exactly as OP describes her son, "responsible"... for TEENAGERS not at all responsible for adult responsibilities and parenthood.

Numerous folks have already pointed out the craziness in allowing a high-school-aged son to travel out of the country for weeks with a committed sexual partner (because that's, by definition, what a girlfriend or boyfriend is). This is practically an invitation for an unplanned pregnancy.

Not in Sweden.

When my Swedish family came here they brought their son's girlfriend, and the two high schoolers were sleeping together. It was no big deal, and nobody got pregnant. Swedish teens are very informed about their bodies and don't have any religious hangups about sex.

This thread isn't taking place in Sweden.

Actually, it is:

Nope, it's not. The thread is based where the OP's home is, since her son still lives with them and is therefore bound to their rules. His parents live the United States, which is why US norms are what apply here. Nice try, though.

It's funny how pps want to make this about teens and sex, it's not really about that its about the son and his rudeness. I can tell you what he did wouldn't fly with the European parents I know. Americans tend to have this idea that European parenting and family structure is all cigarettes, simping, wine, handing out condoms and pills and having debates about politics with your kids. There's a very firm family structure and code of behavior and you do not just inform your parents you are going to do whatever the hell you want after agreeing upon plans and have zero consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are more laid back about sexual habits among teenagers. It's a generalisation, of course, but it's also true. 18 year old boy and his girlfriend? Of course they're having a lot of sex.

As it is, I'm not sure what the big deal is that he decided to extend the trip by an extra six days. He's 18, about to go off to college. I can see being upset that the amount of time left with the son before he leaves for college is now substantially reduced, but that's life and there's always holidays and weekends.

Read the thread he's not in college. He's a high school senior.

Not sure why this thread is deating teen sex habits, but okay I've been told European kids regularly start having sex at 12 and 13 years old is that something we should model?

"You've been told..." Yeah, that is scientific. You sound like trump - just repeating things you "heard".

About as scientific as you claiming European families do this and European teens are this based on what? Haven't seen you list in studies just spout off based on your own personal experiences.

What does Trump have to do with this?

Not surprising, just another small minded DCUMEr who thinks her opinion is more important than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's funny how pps want to make this about teens and sex, it's not really about that its about the son and his rudeness. I can tell you what he did wouldn't fly with the European parents I know. Americans tend to have this idea that European parenting and family structure is all cigarettes, simping, wine, handing out condoms and pills and having debates about politics with your kids. There's a very firm family structure and code of behavior and you do not just inform your parents you are going to do whatever the hell you want after agreeing upon plans and have zero consequences.

Simping?

Probably parents in Europe are as varied in their approaches as parents in the US -- if not more, considering all of the many different cultures and countries in Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are more laid back about sexual habits among teenagers. It's a generalisation, of course, but it's also true. 18 year old boy and his girlfriend? Of course they're having a lot of sex.

As it is, I'm not sure what the big deal is that he decided to extend the trip by an extra six days. He's 18, about to go off to college. I can see being upset that the amount of time left with the son before he leaves for college is now substantially reduced, but that's life and there's always holidays and weekends.

Read the thread he's not in college. He's a high school senior.

Not sure why this thread is deating teen sex habits, but okay I've been told European kids regularly start having sex at 12 and 13 years old is that something we should model?

You've been told? Who told you that European kids start having sex at 12 and 13? That is the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard! As a European myself, most of European parents would beat the crap out of their kids if they heard their 13 year old is having sex.
I have heard it in 90s from the horses' mouth, so to say, when I moved to US and worked in a day care that had older high school girls working in the afternoon, that they had sex at 13, and they now regret it, they were maybe 17 years old. Large part of Europe is very, very conservative when it comes to sex. So far, every stereotype we heard in Europe about US tens being sluts of both gender, has been witnessed by me, mom of two teens living here and knowing many teens. I know so many freshmen teens who are having sex with their parents knowing, and clearly this was the case in 90s too so not a new development.
My own US SIL told my DD when DD was 14 that it is ridiculous she doesn't have a boyfriend. SIL told me she also had sex around 13, and had multiple partners before 15 years old, when she settled with her now exDH. My other SIL waited will 14! Maybe look into a mirror before you start spewing nonsense about teen sex in Europe. So, Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Bulgaria, Hungary, Ukraine, Turkey, France, it is all the same to you, right? You do know Germany and Scandinavia are just a tiny part of it, right? And even then your statement is absolutely mind numbing. Confusing acceptance of nudity with acceptance of 12 year olds having sex is insane. And newsflash, we do not consider 12 and 13 year olds even teens in most of Europe, and I have lived in 3 European countries including Norway where yes, casual sex is more common, but certainly not regularly having sex at 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are more laid back about sexual habits among teenagers. It's a generalisation, of course, but it's also true. 18 year old boy and his girlfriend? Of course they're having a lot of sex.

As it is, I'm not sure what the big deal is that he decided to extend the trip by an extra six days. He's 18, about to go off to college. I can see being upset that the amount of time left with the son before he leaves for college is now substantially reduced, but that's life and there's always holidays and weekends.

Read the thread he's not in college. He's a high school senior.

Not sure why this thread is deating teen sex habits, but okay I've been told European kids regularly start having sex at 12 and 13 years old is that something we should model?

"You've been told..." Yeah, that is scientific. You sound like trump - just repeating things you "heard".

About as scientific as you claiming European families do this and European teens are this based on what? Haven't seen you list in studies just spout off based on your own personal experiences.

What does Trump have to do with this?

Not surprising, just another small minded DCUMEr who thinks her opinion is more important than anyone else.

trump defends every lie with "that is what I heard" or "that is what someone told me".

[Anonymous]

He is 18. Why do people care if he is having sex or how much sex he is having? It's old-man-creepy to even think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be angry, too, but, as another PP said, about my loss of control. Unless you've had to fight him to get to school, he'll deal with the jet lag. He'll manage it. It'll be a good learning experience for him. He's clearly having fun. He let you know of the change (though I, too, would have liked to have been asked... so I could say no!). He's being an adult. Scary, but it sounds like he's handling it well.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

I have been surprised by the comparatively lax attitudes towards upper age teenagers' sex lives I've encountered among European families that I would consider my peers, the comfortably off, educated upper middle classes in the cities. These include British, French, Swedish, German and Danish families. They were perfectly pleasant and intelligent people. What I saw happening was the boyfriend/girlfriend joining the family on holiday and sleeping in the same bedroom as the son/daughter in question; the university child's boyfriend/girlfriend sleeping in the same room when visiting the family. Neither would be something I'd have allowed nor would my children have expected to happen. I am not implying that this is broadly the norm for I do not know if it is the case, and I'm sure there are plenty of more conservative families.

Still, I do think upper middle class America is more prudish than other western countries when it comes to the sexual habits of their children, it is not to imply it is bad or unhealthy, just that we have different ways of handling it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is 18. Why do people care if he is having sex or how much sex he is having? It's old-man-creepy to even think about it.

Seriously, everyone - stop. It is gross to have this long of a discussion on his sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 18. Why do people care if he is having sex or how much sex he is having? It's old-man-creepy to even think about it.

Seriously, everyone - stop. It is gross to have this long of a discussion on his sex life.

I think the bigger worry is: Relatively inexperienced 18 year old on his own in a foreign country where the legal drinking age is 18 and the Op doesn't really know the "extended family" of the girlfriend. If something happens to him over there, who is going to help him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are more laid back about sexual habits among teenagers. It's a generalisation, of course, but it's also true. 18 year old boy and his girlfriend? Of course they're having a lot of sex.

As it is, I'm not sure what the big deal is that he decided to extend the trip by an extra six days. He's 18, about to go off to college. I can see being upset that the amount of time left with the son before he leaves for college is now substantially reduced, but that's life and there's always holidays and weekends.

Read the thread he's not in college. He's a high school senior.

Not sure why this thread is deating teen sex habits, but okay I've been told European kids regularly start having sex at 12 and 13 years old is that something we should model?

You've been told? Who told you that European kids start having sex at 12 and 13? That is the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard! As a European myself, most of European parents would beat the crap out of their kids if they heard their 13 year old is having sex.
I have heard it in 90s from the horses' mouth, so to say, when I moved to US and worked in a day care that had older high school girls working in the afternoon, that they had sex at 13, and they now regret it, they were maybe 17 years old. Large part of Europe is very, very conservative when it comes to sex. So far, every stereotype we heard in Europe about US tens being sluts of both gender, has been witnessed by me, mom of two teens living here and knowing many teens. I know so many freshmen teens who are having sex with their parents knowing, and clearly this was the case in 90s too so not a new development.
My own US SIL told my DD when DD was 14 that it is ridiculous she doesn't have a boyfriend. SIL told me she also had sex around 13, and had multiple partners before 15 years old, when she settled with her now exDH. My other SIL waited will 14! Maybe look into a mirror before you start spewing nonsense about teen sex in Europe. So, Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Bulgaria, Hungary, Ukraine, Turkey, France, it is all the same to you, right? You do know Germany and Scandinavia are just a tiny part of it, right? And even then your statement is absolutely mind numbing. Confusing acceptance of nudity with acceptance of 12 year olds having sex is insane. And newsflash, we do not consider 12 and 13 year olds even teens in most of Europe, and I have lived in 3 European countries including Norway where yes, casual sex is more common, but certainly not regularly having sex at 12.

Doesn't sound scientif to me. Just little anecdotes from your life, which are no more valid that pps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 18. Why do people care if he is having sex or how much sex he is having? It's old-man-creepy to even think about it.

Seriously, everyone - stop. It is gross to have this long of a discussion on his sex life.

I think the bigger worry is: Relatively inexperienced 18 year old on his own in a foreign country where the legal drinking age is 18 and the Op doesn't really know the "extended family" of the girlfriend. If something happens to him over there, who is going to help him?

It is Sweden, not Somalia. They have a lower crime rate and better medical care than we do. And the girlfriends family is there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You East Coast people are very relaxed.
I would be furious. My kid while still living under my roof, is expected to follow the rules and ask permission for this.

I would call the girl's parents to ask details. The may not know he is staying.

I would also consider telling him to come home as originally planned.

Are you still paying his room and board? Are you paying for college next year? If so, you still make the rules.
He should have taken the money from his summer job and saved for some college expenses.

You've got to be kidding? I am from the West Coast and routinely struck by how uptight people here are.

You sound like an awful AND stupid parent. He extended his trip and if you read her post, she was actually mad because she missed him, the reset was an excuse. Call the parents? Way to emasculate your young man there slappy. Lighten up you sound ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are more laid back about sexual habits among teenagers. It's a generalisation, of course, but it's also true. 18 year old boy and his girlfriend? Of course they're having a lot of sex.

As it is, I'm not sure what the big deal is that he decided to extend the trip by an extra six days. He's 18, about to go off to college. I can see being upset that the amount of time left with the son before he leaves for college is now substantially reduced, but that's life and there's always holidays and weekends.

Np: he's going to be a senior in HS, not going to college. That being said, I don't understand the uproar over what he did - he sounds like a great kid!

I know, are all these people expecting mommy and daddy to approve all of his plans when he is in college? Maybe an18 yo in college is somehow magically more responsible than an 18 hs senior. They sound like a lot of control freaks that prize controlling their young adult kids over displayed individual responsibility.