2 months and still no sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She doesn't have herpes. We have had oral sex on two occasions and she is clean. She told me in the beginning the reason for this is because her ex used her for sex, and her moving too fast in the beginning caused some of relationship to turn into a casual sex one. She is 28 and looking for more of a serious relationship.

She can obviously do whatever she wants, but there is such a thing as a happy medium between being "too easy" and dragging things out for months.

Yep. And sounds like you are approaching letting the suspense build to a point where doing it may have trouble meeting expectations. There should be that medium where it happens naturally and you should be approaching ithat point quickly by now

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she's right to wait. It's clear that you're just after sex. Find someone else.

[Anonymous]

You've hardly dated this woman. You've already had oral sex. And you're upset that she is waiting awhile before having PIV sex?

Grow up. Seriously. It is a big deal to let another person's body into your body. You say she is not a "virgin" as if any woman who is not a virgin doesn't have a totally legitimate right to get to know a person and feel comfortable before physically letting another person inside her. Your attitudes about sex are really revealing.

Signed,
Someone who waited at least three months before sex with my now husband.

[Anonymous]

Have you discussed being exclusive yet? It may be what she is waiting for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you discussed being exclusive yet? It may be what she is waiting for.

Op here. I admit I had a moment of frustration and posted on here. I have decided to just let it play out because I don't want to screw this up. To answer some questions, yes we are exclusive. We talked about exclusivity a couple of weeks ago but neither of is are seeing anyone else. We just recently had oral sex on two occasions. I am not in this just for sex. I don't want go sleep with anyone but her. I am not using her for sex or just looking to get off. I miss that physical intimacy that comes with sex. I am going to wait until she's ready.

[Anonymous]

Do you want a long-term relationship with her?

Can you see yourself potentially marrying her down the line?

[Anonymous]

Oral is more intimate than PIV in many ways.

What's the point of making him wait for PIV?

[Anonymous]

For me, the point of making my now-spouse wait for PIV is that letting someone physically into that intimate part of your body is a big deal. At least it was to me.
Oral is not more intimate to me--I put food in my mouth. I talk to people with my mouth. I cannot get pregnant through oral sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want a long-term relationship with her?

Can you see yourself potentially marrying her down the line?

Op here. Yes, I do want a serious relationship. I don't know her well enough yet to decide if I would marry her, but I do see potential for marriage. She's has many amazing qualities that I am looking for in a long-term partner.

[Anonymous]

Quit being a needy wimp.

Every day that passes without you having sex reduces her respect for you.

You are lucky you haven't been friendzoned already.

Now go have sex with other women so you'll lose your pitiful fixation and realize this woman's vagina is nothing special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quit being a needy wimp.

Every day that passes without you having sex reduces her respect for you.

You are lucky you haven't been friendzoned already.

Now go have sex with other women so you'll lose your pitiful fixation and realize this woman's vagina is nothing special.

The women here won't like this response, but there is an element of truth to it.

Keep your options open and don't get so attached with someone that you've never even slept with. Play it cool and maybe back off a little and let her come to you instead of pining away for someone that may not be all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quit being a needy wimp.

Every day that passes without you having sex reduces her respect for you.

You are lucky you haven't been friendzoned already.

Now go have sex with other women so you'll lose your pitiful fixation and realize this woman's vagina is nothing special.

The women here won't like this response, but there is an element of truth to it.

Keep your options open and don't get so attached with someone that you've never even slept with. Play it cool and maybe back off a little and let her come to you instead of pining away for someone that may not be all that.

This is really bad advice if you actually want a serious relationship with her,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, the point of making my now-spouse wait for PIV is that letting someone physically into that intimate part of your body is a big deal. At least it was to me.
Oral is not more intimate to me--I put food in my mouth. I talk to people with my mouth. I cannot get pregnant through oral sex.

+1

Also you are literally letting someone into your body with PIV sex. It’s much more intimate.

I think Tom Ford was right when he said all straight men should be penetrated so that they can know how vulnerable sex feels

[Anonymous]

Have you straight out asked her/told her that you want to be exclusive? do you call her your girlfriend?

I would make sure that she understands that you are serious and not just interested in sex. I'd also be straightforward and put some responsibilty on to account for her feeligns about YOU (not just her bad exes)

"Look, I want to assure you that i am serious about dating you, and I'm interested in taking our relationship to the next level in all ways. I will wait if you still dont feel ready, but only if you also see a future with me and are as attracted to me as I am to you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, the point of making my now-spouse wait for PIV is that letting someone physically into that intimate part of your body is a big deal. At least it was to me.
Oral is not more intimate to me--I put food in my mouth. I talk to people with my mouth. I cannot get pregnant through oral sex.

+1

Also you are literally letting someone into your body with PIV sex. It’s much more intimate.

I think Tom Ford was right when he said all straight men should be penetrated so that they can know how vulnerable sex feels

Not sure how you perform a BJ without out "literally letting someone into your body".
Basically it's the same penetration, just a different orifice.