Leaving 18 year old son alone overnight

[Anonymous]

Every 18-year-old young adult should be able to prepare a basic dinner for themselves when they're on their own. Spaghetti noodles and sauce out of a can, rice and beans, a just-heat-in-pan ham steak, a can of soup, etc.

Saying "but my 18-year-old will starve if I'm not there!" is a sign Junior needs to learn some basic life skills. Plus, he'll be able to impress his future dates if he can make a simple, home-cooked meal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing a lot of the PP's have kids who are like...5. Just wait a few years and you'll be thinking the same thing.

OP, two suggestions, actually one with different approaches.

1. He has a friend stay with him at your house.
2. He stays with a friend at their house.

Really?? What about college?

NP. Going off to college is really nothing like being home alone. Most freshmen have a meal plan, so no meal prep. There's very little housekeeping, other than changing one's bedsheets when one gets the urge and doing laundry. No maintenance, no upkeep required. Have a problem? Call the housing office. Need help? Go to the RA. There are other people around constantly.

All the stuff you listed, an 18 year old should be able to handle on his/her own. Period. If they can't you have failed them.

I would love to know how old your oldest is.

More parent bashing. I don't know if mine (30 and 33) knew all that stuff at 18. It doesn't matter how long the trip is, if there's an emergency, he needs to be able to handle it, especially (and I don't know if this is true in this situation) Mom isn't always available by cell. We go up into the mountains in VA and there's often no cell service. I don't know about the service in the beach town she's planning on going to. Presumably, one would not always have a cell phone on them at the beach.

Holy crap. Could you not make yourself a sandwich at 18? Truly, if your kids can't get food from the fridge and into their mouths at age 18, you failed big time. Also, they know how to call 911.

[Anonymous]

You posted this on multiple places. Be a grown up and take care of your child who should come first over your BF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You posted this on multiple places. Be a grown up and take care of your child who should come first over your BF!

This is not a child. This is an 18 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing a lot of the PP's have kids who are like...5. Just wait a few years and you'll be thinking the same thing.

OP, two suggestions, actually one with different approaches.

1. He has a friend stay with him at your house.
2. He stays with a friend at their house.

Really?? What about college?

NP. Going off to college is really nothing like being home alone. Most freshmen have a meal plan, so no meal prep. There's very little housekeeping, other than changing one's bedsheets when one gets the urge and doing laundry. No maintenance, no upkeep required. Have a problem? Call the housing office. Need help? Go to the RA. There are other people around constantly.

All the stuff you listed, an 18 year old should be able to handle on his/her own. Period. If they can't you have failed them.

I would love to know how old your oldest is.

More parent bashing. I don't know if mine (30 and 33) knew all that stuff at 18. It doesn't matter how long the trip is, if there's an emergency, he needs to be able to handle it, especially (and I don't know if this is true in this situation) Mom isn't always available by cell. We go up into the mountains in VA and there's often no cell service. I don't know about the service in the beach town she's planning on going to. Presumably, one would not always have a cell phone on them at the beach.

Holy crap. Could you not make yourself a sandwich at 18? Truly, if your kids can't get food from the fridge and into their mouths at age 18, you failed big time. Also, they know how to call 911.

It really is alarming the number of "parents" here who think an 18 y ear old can not function a few days without someone telling them what to do.

[Anonymous]

This is the kind of overparenting that extends adolescence into the 30s. Truly terrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every 18-year-old young adult should be able to prepare a basic dinner for themselves when they're on their own. Spaghetti noodles and sauce out of a can, rice and beans, a just-heat-in-pan ham steak, a can of soup, etc.

Saying "but my 18-year-old will starve if I'm not there!" is a sign Junior needs to learn some basic life skills. Plus, he'll be able to impress his future dates if he can make a simple, home-cooked meal!

Sheesh, you guys are harsh!

I'm one of the posters who thinks that OP is on target in her concerns. We also are concerned if we have to leave one of our teens for a night/s while we are away. Primarily because we would not want other kids to show up and make the house party central. Certainly any of our children knows how to make a sandwich or spaghetti or omelettes or grill a steak or order pizza or whatever. And they could easily enough get themselves to one of the clubs and have dinner in any of the restaurants or go over to my sister's or to my folks' house for company.

The point I'm making is that it can be hard for people to be alone for an extended period of time (2-3 days) in their own house. In our house we have me, my husband, 5 kids, Dad, a caretaker for Dad and three dogs. I cannot tell you the last time I slept alone in our house. I am not a Nervous Nelly by any means but to be alone in the house for 2-3 nights would make me antsy. I would want someone checking in with me at night and in the morning to make sure everything was okay even though I would be out and about during the day going to work or volunteering or even just lazing around.

[Anonymous]

Wow. When I was 17 both of my parents traveled regularly for work. I was perfectly capable of staying alone in our apartment in Brooklyn and making myself food to eat - before going to bed, getting up, and commuting to one of my two part-time jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus what the fuck is wrong with you people?

You job was to take a baby and turn it into a man. You have failed.

I might not have put it as harshly as this poster, but basically I agree with this. I have a 17 and 12 year old. We left our oldest alone for a weekend a few months ago.

Barring any unusual circumstances this is not normal, OP. There is on reason an 18 year old should not be able to function alone without you there. I believe that ultimately our job is to raise our children to become functioning productive members of society. If your 18 year old can not be left alone for a weekend than I'm afraid you have severely handicapped him. This is pretty shocking to me honestly and I keep debating if this is a troll thread. Oh and please don't have him stay with a friend or have an Aunt come over as some have suggested - he's 18, how mortifying!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel comfortable but if you must... Make sure he has enough diapers/wipes and bottles.

lol

and baby outfits, baby toys

no baths. he might drown.

You're a bitch. Really. This was unnecessary.

Every parent and kid is different. 95% kids that age have or would be able to stay home along. Some would not. For many reasons. Just answer the damn question and shut your mouth.

Feel the hate. KMA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every 18-year-old young adult should be able to prepare a basic dinner for themselves when they're on their own. Spaghetti noodles and sauce out of a can, rice and beans, a just-heat-in-pan ham steak, a can of soup, etc.

Saying "but my 18-year-old will starve if I'm not there!" is a sign Junior needs to learn some basic life skills. Plus, he'll be able to impress his future dates if he can make a simple, home-cooked meal!

Sheesh, you guys are harsh!

I'm one of the posters who thinks that OP is on target in her concerns. We also are concerned if we have to leave one of our teens for a night/s while we are away. Primarily because we would not want other kids to show up and make the house party central. Certainly any of our children knows how to make a sandwich or spaghetti or omelettes or grill a steak or order pizza or whatever. And they could easily enough get themselves to one of the clubs and have dinner in any of the restaurants or go over to my sister's or to my folks' house for company.

The point I'm making is that it can be hard for people to be alone for an extended period of time (2-3 days) in their own house. In our house we have me, my husband, 5 kids, Dad, a caretaker for Dad and three dogs. I cannot tell you the last time I slept alone in our house. I am not a Nervous Nelly by any means but to be alone in the house for 2-3 nights would make me antsy. I would want someone checking in with me at night and in the morning to make sure everything was okay even though I would be out and about during the day going to work or volunteering or even just lazing around.

Believe it or not, that's an issue to, if you've raised your kid that they will only do the right thing or make good choices because someone is there watching them.

Your second paragraph is your own anxiety, which isn't fair to transfer to your kids.

Look, it's normal to have a little bit of nerves and wonder " Did I teach him/her enough?" when your kid hits 17/18 and it's time for them to leave the nest. What isn't healthy is outright panic that your kid will be alone, that they can't figure out how to basic things( feed themselves, basic household chores, what do in an emergency), what isn't healthy is that they would panic at being alone.

[Anonymous]

The whole "but he might feel weird being home alone" argument is silly. What's wrong with feeling a little weird?

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. I think the idea of having a friend or neighbor "stop by" to check in is a good one. Set firm ground rules. Ignore the flamers who say you are over controlling. Many 18 year olds have never been home alone before leaving for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the kid. I think the idea of having a friend or neighbor "stop by" to check in is a good one. Set firm ground rules. Ignore the flamers who say you are over controlling. Many 18 year olds have never been home alone before leaving for college.

And that's a problem.

[Anonymous]

When I was 16 or 17, my parents went on vacation for a couple nights. Yeah, it felt strange and slightly scary being home alone all night. But there's a first for everything. For me, I'd spent plenty of time home alone during the day in the summers, after school, and in the evenings if my parents went out. So being alone all night wasn't too much of a stretch. I understand the party concern, but that's really dependent on the kid. Any other worries about how this 18 year old will survive alone for a weekend are just due to overly protective parents.