TALK ME OUT OF IT! Thinking About Seducing a Friend...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This update is excruciating. You got played so hard, OP.

How? We didn't have sex----yet.

When I asked about him seeing someone (can't remember my wording) he goes " I told you I was seeing some but I don't know where it's going". Whatever dude

You had phone sex. He then shut you down because of his girlfriend. (Despite you believing you're the one who got away.) now you're hanging around in case he breaks up with her and needs someone just chilling in the wings who's willing to f*ck. Come on.

They could break up tomorrow but I wouldn't be with him because he's shown he'll cheat.

Also I realize you were not on the call. After arranging a date and going into phone sex I asked about him seeing someone. He said I told you I was, provided a few more teeth pulling answers and continued the convo. I was flustered, disappointed, disgusted and ended the convo

24 years of friend zoning, marriages, will you date me...nope! too much going on and bad timing cannot be summed up in a few posts

Bless your heart. You believe that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This update is excruciating. You got played so hard, OP.

How? We didn't have sex----yet.

When I asked about him seeing someone (can't remember my wording) he goes " I told you I was seeing some but I don't know where it's going". Whatever dude

You had phone sex. He then shut you down because of his girlfriend. (Despite you believing you're the one who got away.) now you're hanging around in case he breaks up with her and needs someone just chilling in the wings who's willing to f*ck. Come on.

I just went back and re read the original posts. It's all consistent. Nowhere is there a fantasy love affair to die for. It's we fooled around in the past, there's been interest in the past but now he's kinda seeing someone but I may want to screw him just because I'm horny and know him as a trusted friend. It's not I think he loves me more than he's ever loved before!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This update is excruciating. You got played so hard, OP.

How? We didn't have sex----yet.

When I asked about him seeing someone (can't remember my wording) he goes " I told you I was seeing some but I don't know where it's going". Whatever dude

You had phone sex. He then shut you down because of his girlfriend. (Despite you believing you're the one who got away.) now you're hanging around in case he breaks up with her and needs someone just chilling in the wings who's willing to f*ck. Come on.

They could break up tomorrow but I wouldn't be with him because he's shown he'll cheat.

Also I realize you were not on the call. After arranging a date and going into phone sex I asked about him seeing someone. He said I told you I was, provided a few more teeth pulling answers and continued the convo. I was flustered, disappointed, disgusted and ended the convo

24 years of friend zoning, marriages, will you date me...nope! too much going on and bad timing cannot be summed up in a few posts

Bless your heart. You believe that.

1. It's common sense.
2. The update is consistent with the original post.

[Anonymous]

This can't be real. You're in middle school, and a boy correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think you can start a relationship with someone by having sex with them. No offensebut if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Know what I mean?

I agree with this. The fact that you are already worried about him dropping you for a side chick shows where you know you already stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think you can start a relationship with someone by having sex with them. No offensebut if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Know what I mean?

I agree with this. The fact that you are already worried about him dropping you for a side chick shows where you know you already stand.

Huh? The original post is about wanting just sex with a trusted friend to scratch an itch. You guys have turned this into a heartbreak!

[Anonymous]

Just go for it. You only live once! If you are both feeling the "one that got away" syndrome, then don't let that happen. Be the one that didn't get away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think you can start a relationship with someone by having sex with them. No offensebut if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Know what I mean?

I agree with this. The fact that you are already worried about him dropping you for a side chick shows where you know you already stand.

+1. OP insists that she's the one who's been "friend-zoning," but IME, if a guy wants to be with you, he'll make pretty clear that that's not OK with him. He would tell you that he'd break up with his current GF to be with you. But, it may be that you are both poor communicators and just won't tell each other what you really want. How old are you anyway? I think that once you hit your mid-30s--especially if you've already been married and divorced--it's a good thing to tell people what you are looking for, rather than just beat around the bush and play coy guessing games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think you can start a relationship with someone by having sex with them. No offensebut if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Know what I mean?

I agree with this. The fact that you are already worried about him dropping you for a side chick shows where you know you already stand.

+1. OP insists that she's the one who's been "friend-zoning," but IME, if a guy wants to be with you, he'll make pretty clear that that's not OK with him. He would tell you that he'd break up with his current GF to be with you. But, it may be that you are both poor communicators and just won't tell each other what you really want. How old are you anyway? I think that once you hit your mid-30s--especially if you've already been married and divorced--it's a good thing to tell people what you are looking for, rather than just beat around the bush and play coy guessing games.

You guys have turned this into something it's not. What man breaks up with a woman he's got in the bag to go after a friend for 20+ years who's been flirting-even sexual-but still not completely in the bag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think you can start a relationship with someone by having sex with them. No offensebut if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Know what I mean?

I agree with this. The fact that you are already worried about him dropping you for a side chick shows where you know you already stand.

+1. OP insists that she's the one who's been "friend-zoning," but IME, if a guy wants to be with you, he'll make pretty clear that that's not OK with him. He would tell you that he'd break up with his current GF to be with you. But, it may be that you are both poor communicators and just won't tell each other what you really want. How old are you anyway? I think that once you hit your mid-30s--especially if you've already been married and divorced--it's a good thing to tell people what you are looking for, rather than just beat around the bush and play coy guessing games.

He had no choice in the friend zone. I was going through a situation that left him/us no choice. All he could do was be there as a friend. Which he was.

And there were no coy games. I considered sex with him and that's where my conversation went.

[Anonymous]

OP, I say go for it. Have fun and be safe.

[Anonymous]

Yolo

[Anonymous]

The ego salvaging mental gymnastics are impressive.

[Anonymous]

Bummer, OP -- I think many of us have been there with a friend. Honestly I haven't found it possible or even desirable to continue the friendship. Lost total respect when I found out the dude was in fact an asshole who didn't care about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The ego salvaging mental gymnastics are impressive.

The assumptions about a 20+ year friendship and conversation no one overheard is ridiculous. OPs ALWAYS have a better read on matters than those hearing about the game on Monday.