Need Advice: Just found out DD (16 yo) is dating a 25 yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We found the info online from what we've known to be a reliable source. While we are not freaking out yet, we often use the source professionally and it has always been accurate. Still, we are holding out the possibility that the info could be off this time.

What the hell do you used this information for? You go around stalking people or checking their ages at a random?

Good grief.

You have way too little information about OP's situation/access to sound as unhinged as you do here. Chillax.

[Anonymous]

OP, either your source is a person, and has credible evidence to back up the claim, or your source is a website, in which case this is bullshit.

[Anonymous]

I suspect you used Lexis-Nexis and 99 percent of the time they are correct but this one time they may not be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many immigrants in FFX & PW co are waaay beyond the usual HS age.

This.

Exactly, Mexico isn't sending their best and brightest

Whatever. Even if they are the dullest and stupid, they are not allowed to be on a traditional campus at age 25. And, BTW Trumpkin, did OP say the her D.C. Was dating a Mexican immigrant. Because otherwise it seems like you are just looking for a chance to be hateful.

You should go back to school and learn how to form sentences and use punctuation. Funny how you accuse pp of being hateful while using terms like "Trumpkin". Hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do 2 things: call the school and report what you've found out (the school is mandated to act), and call the police.

OP: "I just looked around online, and I found out that my daughter's boyfriend, who is a student at your school, is really 25 years old!!!!!"
The person on the other end of the phone line: "..."

Oh, dear. It isn't hard but I can see that you're confused. Let me help.

OP calls the school and says 'Our daughter Larla is dating a young man named Laslo Losla, whom we believe to be a registered freshman/sophomore/junior/senior at the school. We also have found out through <source> that Laslo Losla may be at the school under false pretenses and may have lied about his age. Through <source> we believe Laslo's age to be 25. We need you to verify that Laslo is a student at the school and also to verify his age.' That is all that needs to be said and the school registrar will take it from there. Then OP asks to speak with the School Resource Officer if OP hasn't already called the local precinct.


Again no school is going to give out any information. How about the parents invite the young man over and have a discussion about his age.
There is no doubt that both organizations will be interested in hearing from OP if only to verify that OP's information is correct or incorrect.

Hopefully OP is incorrect. But it is better to be safe than sorry.

If, as discerned by another poster as well as myself, the source is LexisNexis then OP can be virtually certain (99.99%) that the data is correct. Furthermore, think about the type of info on LexisNexis ... So, yes, OP should report what OP has found to the school and the school's Resource Officer. OP should not invite the young man over to the family home. OP should only meet with the young man at a neutral and public location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do 2 things: call the school and report what you've found out (the school is mandated to act), and call the police.

OP: "I just looked around online, and I found out that my daughter's boyfriend, who is a student at your school, is really 25 years old!!!!!"
The person on the other end of the phone line: "..."

Oh, dear. It isn't hard but I can see that you're confused. Let me help.

OP calls the school and says 'Our daughter Larla is dating a young man named Laslo Losla, whom we believe to be a registered freshman/sophomore/junior/senior at the school. We also have found out through <source> that Laslo Losla may be at the school under false pretenses and may have lied about his age. Through <source> we believe Laslo's age to be 25. We need you to verify that Laslo is a student at the school and also to verify his age.' That is all that needs to be said and the school registrar will take it from there. Then OP asks to speak with the School Resource Officer if OP hasn't already called the local precinct.

There is no doubt that both organizations will be interested in hearing from OP if only to verify that OP's information is correct or incorrect.

Hopefully OP is incorrect. But it is better to be safe than sorry.

FERPA ( a federal law) prevents the school fromreleasing information to you about another student. They cannot verify his attendance nor his age.

Parents have to do what parents have done for eons .... "Larla, it is a house rule that we know where you are and the people you are with at all times. This is for your safety. I am happy to hear about your new boyfriend. We would like to have dinner with him and his parents. Please ask MarkeyMark to give you his parents names and and a phone number so I can arrange a good night for them to come over.". A slightly less heavy handed version is just to invite the boyfriend w/o parents. If a guy can't survive dinner with you, with sensible answers about his backgound that hang together and corroborate externally, then your daughter shouldn't be dating him.

Also, hope you've had the sex talk and provided access to Long-acting Contraceptives or the pill. If DD is old enough to have a BF, even if she professes not to want or be sleeping with him, it's time to have serious talk and action on BC and what you as a family would support (or not) if she got pregnant (Abortion, adoption or raising kid) and what she thinks she would do in that situation and how it would impact her life choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect you used Lexis-Nexis and 99 percent of the time they are correct but this one time they may not be

Let's say that the boy is really just 17. Would any research site have accurate information on a minor child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do 2 things: call the school and report what you've found out (the school is mandated to act), and call the police.

OP: "I just looked around online, and I found out that my daughter's boyfriend, who is a student at your school, is really 25 years old!!!!!"
The person on the other end of the phone line: "..."

Oh, dear. It isn't hard but I can see that you're confused. Let me help.

OP calls the school and says 'Our daughter Larla is dating a young man named Laslo Losla, whom we believe to be a registered freshman/sophomore/junior/senior at the school. We also have found out through <source> that Laslo Losla may be at the school under false pretenses and may have lied about his age. Through <source> we believe Laslo's age to be 25. We need you to verify that Laslo is a student at the school and also to verify his age.' That is all that needs to be said and the school registrar will take it from there. Then OP asks to speak with the School Resource Officer if OP hasn't already called the local precinct.

There is no doubt that both organizations will be interested in hearing from OP if only to verify that OP's information is correct or incorrect.

Hopefully OP is incorrect. But it is better to be safe than sorry.

FERPA ( a federal law) prevents the school fromreleasing information to you about another student. They cannot verify his attendance nor his age.

Parents have to do what parents have done for eons .... "Larla, it is a house rule that we know where you are and the people you are with at all times. This is for your safety. I am happy to hear about your new boyfriend. We would like to have dinner with him and his parents. Please ask MarkeyMark to give you his parents names and and a phone number so I can arrange a good night for them to come over.". A slightly less heavy handed version is just to invite the boyfriend w/o parents. If a guy can't survive dinner with you, with sensible answers about his backgound that hang together and corroborate externally, then your daughter shouldn't be dating him.

Also, hope you've had the sex talk and provided access to Long-acting Contraceptives or the pill. If DD is old enough to have a BF, even if she professes not to want or be sleeping with him, it's time to have serious talk and action on BC and what you as a family would support (or not) if she got pregnant (Abortion, adoption or raising kid) and what she thinks she would do in that situation and how it would impact her life choices.

PP, no one has said that the school has to release any information! Please go back and re-read what I have posted. I have, however, indicated that OP should report the information to the school. The school will take it from there. This is a simple concept and I don't understand the problem. The school definitely wants to know!

[Anonymous]

It is clear that either OP is a troll or OPs daughter is lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is clear that either OP is a troll or OPs daughter is lying.

There is NO evidence that OP is a troll. His posts and story all appear genuine. The guy seems to be sincerely looking for feedback on what he should do.

Really, you should stop it with your tendency to quick-troll people on these forums. If you don't believe it, leave it! But don't get in the way of the support being offered here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is clear that either OP is a troll or OPs daughter is lying.

There is NO evidence that OP is a troll. His posts and story all appear genuine. The guy seems to be sincerely looking for feedback on what he should do.

Really, you should stop it with your tendency to quick-troll people on these forums. If you don't believe it, leave it! But don't get in the way of the support being offered here.

Except for the part where there is no such thing as a 25-year-old in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is clear that either OP is a troll or OPs daughter is lying.

There is NO evidence that OP is a troll. His posts and story all appear genuine. The guy seems to be sincerely looking for feedback on what he should do.

Really, you should stop it with your tendency to quick-troll people on these forums. If you don't believe it, leave it! But don't get in the way of the support being offered here.

Except for the part where there is no such thing as a 25-year-old in high school.

Please provide support for your statement or STHU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is clear that either OP is a troll or OPs daughter is lying.

There is NO evidence that OP is a troll. His posts and story all appear genuine. The guy seems to be sincerely looking for feedback on what he should do.

Really, you should stop it with your tendency to quick-troll people on these forums. If you don't believe it, leave it! But don't get in the way of the support being offered here.

Except for the part where there is no such thing as a 25-year-old in high school.

And again, if you don't believe the post, leave. There are plenty of people providing comments - just because you want to call it troll does not make it so. Move on, nut.

[Anonymous]

How can you be so confident the information is about the boyfriend and not some similarly-named older cousin? What is on LexisNexis? Do they have data on minors?

[Anonymous]

Is he a coach? Guessing he's on school grounds - for some reason - and DD is not giving accurate information, or does not know accurate information.