She bad mouthed me to my husband and he's angry and weirded out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have denied it all.

+1
Never disclosed all of your business to a man. Some men can't handle the sexual history of women. Many are intimidated by more experienced women. Even the most liberal and open minded man will get his ego crushed if you disclosed certain information to him. Unfortunately, there is still a double standard in society regarding women and sex. Keep your past in the past. It serves no good to share your past with others including your women friends. Quite a few Americans in general are very prudish and close-minded when it comes to all things regarding the sexuality of women. Don't ever mistake that a woman friend has your best interests in heart when you disclosed personal sexual information about yourself. They will always used it to their advantage to sabotage you. Lesson learned keep your business to yourself always. However, your husband sounds insecure or maybe jealous that you're more experienced than him. Some men like to think that they have the upper hand in the sexual department.

OK but for those men, they should be able to make a fully informed choice before making a lifelong commitment. Many men would decline to make such a commitment to a woman with an "adventurous" sexual history and so it's their right to know beforehand.

Whether or not a woman wants to factor that into her sex life (that a future mate may pass) is entirely up to her. Risk - reward.

+1

People have a right to make a choice for themselves - which can't happen if the other person isn't honest. It's not a boundary issue - and it's easy to say one shouldn't care about X, Y, and Z. But, the reality is, each person has a right to make that decision for themselves. You should have told him about your past so that he can make a decision that is best for his life.

No one wants to feel like they married person A and come to find out, they are person B.

Just so you know, I pity sad sack women like you and the PP who have such obvious issues with other women's premarital sex lives. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your parochialism. Decent adults don't give a damn about that, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have denied it all.

+1
Never disclosed all of your business to a man. Some men can't handle the sexual history of women. Many are intimidated by more experienced women. Even the most liberal and open minded man will get his ego crushed if you disclosed certain information to him. Unfortunately, there is still a double standard in society regarding women and sex. Keep your past in the past. It serves no good to share your past with others including your women friends. Quite a few Americans in general are very prudish and close-minded when it comes to all things regarding the sexuality of women. Don't ever mistake that a woman friend has your best interests in heart when you disclosed personal sexual information about yourself. They will always used it to their advantage to sabotage you. Lesson learned keep your business to yourself always. However, your husband sounds insecure or maybe jealous that you're more experienced than him. Some men like to think that they have the upper hand in the sexual department.

OK but for those men, they should be able to make a fully informed choice before making a lifelong commitment. Many men would decline to make such a commitment to a woman with an "adventurous" sexual history and so it's their right to know beforehand.

Whether or not a woman wants to factor that into her sex life (that a future mate may pass) is entirely up to her. Risk - reward.

+1

People have a right to make a choice for themselves - which can't happen if the other person isn't honest. It's not a boundary issue - and it's easy to say one shouldn't care about X, Y, and Z. But, the reality is, each person has a right to make that decision for themselves. You should have told him about your past so that he can make a decision that is best for his life.

No one wants to feel like they married person A and come to find out, they are person B.

Just so you know, I pity sad sack women like you and the PP who have such obvious issues with other women's premarital sex lives. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your parochialism. Decent adults don't give a damn about that, ever.

I'm not sure where you got that I have a problem with women's premarital sex lives. I was saying that people have a right to know about the other person so that they can make their own decisions vs. being blindsided by something after you are already married.

Would we be having the same conversation if we were talking about someone who hid their financial problems, a child from a previous relationship, a criminal record, etc?

Probably not - but you idiots have to find something in order to tag your crazy feminist agendas to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have denied it all.

+1
Never disclosed all of your business to a man. Some men can't handle the sexual history of women. Many are intimidated by more experienced women. Even the most liberal and open minded man will get his ego crushed if you disclosed certain information to him. Unfortunately, there is still a double standard in society regarding women and sex. Keep your past in the past. It serves no good to share your past with others including your women friends. Quite a few Americans in general are very prudish and close-minded when it comes to all things regarding the sexuality of women. Don't ever mistake that a woman friend has your best interests in heart when you disclosed personal sexual information about yourself. They will always used it to their advantage to sabotage you. Lesson learned keep your business to yourself always. However, your husband sounds insecure or maybe jealous that you're more experienced than him. Some men like to think that they have the upper hand in the sexual department.

OK but for those men, they should be able to make a fully informed choice before making a lifelong commitment. Many men would decline to make such a commitment to a woman with an "adventurous" sexual history and so it's their right to know beforehand.

Whether or not a woman wants to factor that into her sex life (that a future mate may pass) is entirely up to her. Risk - reward.

+1

People have a right to make a choice for themselves - which can't happen if the other person isn't honest. It's not a boundary issue - and it's easy to say one shouldn't care about X, Y, and Z. But, the reality is, each person has a right to make that decision for themselves. You should have told him about your past so that he can make a decision that is best for his life.

No one wants to feel like they married person A and come to find out, they are person B.

Just so you know, I pity sad sack women like you and the PP who have such obvious issues with other women's premarital sex lives. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your parochialism. Decent adults don't give a damn about that, ever.

I'm not sure where you got that I have a problem with women's premarital sex lives. I was saying that people have a right to know about the other person so that they can make their own decisions vs. being blindsided by something after you are already married.

Would we be having the same conversation if we were talking about someone who hid their financial problems, a child from a previous relationship, a criminal record, etc?

Probably not - but you idiots have to find something in order to tag your crazy feminist agendas to.

+1

[Anonymous]

Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have denied it all.

+1
Never disclosed all of your business to a man. Some men can't handle the sexual history of women. Many are intimidated by more experienced women. Even the most liberal and open minded man will get his ego crushed if you disclosed certain information to him. Unfortunately, there is still a double standard in society regarding women and sex. Keep your past in the past. It serves no good to share your past with others including your women friends. Quite a few Americans in general are very prudish and close-minded when it comes to all things regarding the sexuality of women. Don't ever mistake that a woman friend has your best interests in heart when you disclosed personal sexual information about yourself. They will always used it to their advantage to sabotage you. Lesson learned keep your business to yourself always. However, your husband sounds insecure or maybe jealous that you're more experienced than him. Some men like to think that they have the upper hand in the sexual department.

OK but for those men, they should be able to make a fully informed choice before making a lifelong commitment. Many men would decline to make such a commitment to a woman with an "adventurous" sexual history and so it's their right to know beforehand.

Whether or not a woman wants to factor that into her sex life (that a future mate may pass) is entirely up to her. Risk - reward.

+1

People have a right to make a choice for themselves - which can't happen if the other person isn't honest. It's not a boundary issue - and it's easy to say one shouldn't care about X, Y, and Z. But, the reality is, each person has a right to make that decision for themselves. You should have told him about your past so that he can make a decision that is best for his life.

No one wants to feel like they married person A and come to find out, they are person B.

Just so you know, I pity sad sack women like you and the PP who have such obvious issues with other women's premarital sex lives. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your parochialism. Decent adults don't give a damn about that, ever.

I'm not sure where you got that I have a problem with women's premarital sex lives. I was saying that people have a right to know about the other person so that they can make their own decisions vs. being blindsided by something after you are already married.

Would we be having the same conversation if we were talking about someone who hid their financial problems, a child from a previous relationship, a criminal record, etc?

Probably not - but you idiots have to find something in order to tag your crazy feminist agendas to.

All those things will continue to affect a future spouse. Previous sex does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP. He feels like a fool. You should have told him.

All you can do is own it and answer his questions. And apologize that he was put in that position with your friend.

I'm a guy and most of the response from the women are off base. This^ is what is going on. Your ex-friend probably embellished and that certainly didn't help matters at all. He feels that he doesn't know you.

How would you (or any woman here) feel if you found out intimate and sexual details of your SO/Spouse that you never knew. you know you would be furious, humiliated and a whole host of other emotions would be flowing through you.

Give the guy a break. No one ever wants to find out the sexual past of a SO/Spouse unless it comes from that person.

Unless I find out that my husband was homosexual previously, I don't care to hear about threesomes and wild nights. It's his past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have denied it all.

+1
Never disclosed all of your business to a man. Some men can't handle the sexual history of women. Many are intimidated by more experienced women. Even the most liberal and open minded man will get his ego crushed if you disclosed certain information to him. Unfortunately, there is still a double standard in society regarding women and sex. Keep your past in the past. It serves no good to share your past with others including your women friends. Quite a few Americans in general are very prudish and close-minded when it comes to all things regarding the sexuality of women. Don't ever mistake that a woman friend has your best interests in heart when you disclosed personal sexual information about yourself. They will always used it to their advantage to sabotage you. Lesson learned keep your business to yourself always. However, your husband sounds insecure or maybe jealous that you're more experienced than him. Some men like to think that they have the upper hand in the sexual department.

OK but for those men, they should be able to make a fully informed choice before making a lifelong commitment. Many men would decline to make such a commitment to a woman with an "adventurous" sexual history and so it's their right to know beforehand.

Whether or not a woman wants to factor that into her sex life (that a future mate may pass) is entirely up to her. Risk - reward.

+1

People have a right to make a choice for themselves - which can't happen if the other person isn't honest. It's not a boundary issue - and it's easy to say one shouldn't care about X, Y, and Z. But, the reality is, each person has a right to make that decision for themselves. You should have told him about your past so that he can make a decision that is best for his life.

No one wants to feel like they married person A and come to find out, they are person B.

Just so you know, I pity sad sack women like you and the PP who have such obvious issues with other women's premarital sex lives. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your parochialism. Decent adults don't give a damn about that, ever.

I'm not sure where you got that I have a problem with women's premarital sex lives. I was saying that people have a right to know about the other person so that they can make their own decisions vs. being blindsided by something after you are already married.

Would we be having the same conversation if we were talking about someone who hid their financial problems, a child from a previous relationship, a criminal record, etc?

Probably not - but you idiots have to find something in order to tag your crazy feminist agendas to.

All those things will continue to affect a future spouse. Previous sex does not.

Most survivors of sexual trauma will tell you that it stays with them forever and it affects their future relationships.

[Anonymous]

^ Dramatic jackass. No one was referencing abuse. You're a woman who can't deal with the fact that other women had more sex and just lived more than you, heifer.

[Anonymous]

Tell your husband to man up! Because if you've been down the road of fun stuff, you probably still crave it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ Dramatic jackass. No one was referencing abuse. You're a woman who can't deal with the fact that other women had more sex and just lived more than you, heifer.

Who said anything about abuse? You should learn to read more closely. Engaging in sexual acts that make you feel worthless or degraded because of low self-esteem is sexual trauma (remember, the reason why many women claim they used engage in certain sex acts but don't want to do them now).

[Anonymous]

As a guy here is a situation that happened to me the other day. I went and had a haircut, afterwards Dw asked me to send her a pic, so I did. She commented that she loves my smile and thought I looked sexy. I replied that a sexy pic from her would be nice to see and she sent a wink face back.
Few days later we are texting and I said didn't you say you were going to send me a selfie the other day? I then received this long reply on how she deserves to be loved and appreciated and not ogled. I said I wasn't looking for nudes figured a face shot like I sent her, but sorry I do love and appreciate you as I tell you this all the time, also when we are in bed together I do ogle at you.
The thing is she told me before with her old bf that one time she took a bunch of hard core pics of herself with an instant camera, met bf and his friend out and showed the pics to both of them then proceeded to go into the parking lot with them because bf asked if she wanted sex. So Im left thinking I can not even get a face shot of my wife, but the guy before me got all this, what is wrong with me? I am the guy she say she loves so much and take such good care of her (shes SAH) but some other guy got all the fun. It is a little upsetting on my end

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP. He feels like a fool. You should have told him.

All you can do is own it and answer his questions. And apologize that he was put in that position with your friend.

I'm a guy and most of the response from the women are off base. This^ is what is going on. Your ex-friend probably embellished and that certainly didn't help matters at all. He feels that he doesn't know you.

How would you (or any woman here) feel if you found out intimate and sexual details of your SO/Spouse that you never knew. you know you would be furious, humiliated and a whole host of other emotions would be flowing through you.

Give the guy a break. No one ever wants to find out the sexual past of a SO/Spouse unless it comes from that person.

Unless I find out that my husband was homosexual previously, I don't care to hear about threesomes and wild nights. It's his past.

Right...I guess you missed the posts about the male ego - the REAL issue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I totally get that. The way he found out was really *hitty I know.

He's also upset that i did what he views as stuff that doesn't interest me in doing with him which he takes as a sort of insult or something. Anyway this has just spiralled

This is the essence of it and was my first immediate reaction when I read the first post (without even seeing your later elaboration). For men, sex is elementally the most important way that a woman expresses her attraction for him. You were willing to do things with those other men that you wouldn't do with him. Of course you don't owe any act to anyone. But the fact that you were willing and interested in trying different things with other men and won't for him is something of course something that he takes as an insult. This sends the message that *they* were the ones that you were really interested in and and trying to please and he's kind of the reliable backup schlub you had to settle for when things didn't work out with the men that really interested you.

Let's put it this way-let's say that you were unhappy with the lack of romance and consideration in your marriage. He never remembered birthdays or planned dates or took you out. And you found out later that he had done all sorts of romantic gestures and date planning with his last five girlfriends. I doubt that you'd be like "Who cares? None of my business what happened before!" You'd probably take it pretty poorly.

So listen to all the women on the thread who say "LOL! Men are insecure slut shamers. Tell him to go to hell" See how well that goes for your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Dramatic jackass. No one was referencing abuse. You're a woman who can't deal with the fact that other women had more sex and just lived more than you, heifer.

Who said anything about abuse? You should learn to read more closely. Engaging in sexual acts that make you feel worthless or degraded because of low self-esteem is sexual trauma (remember, the reason why many women claim they used engage in certain sex acts but don't want to do them now).

You need to give it up. You're a drama llama judgmental ass. Embrace it. No good adults act like that but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guy here is a situation that happened to me the other day. I went and had a haircut, afterwards Dw asked me to send her a pic, so I did. She commented that she loves my smile and thought I looked sexy. I replied that a sexy pic from her would be nice to see and she sent a wink face back.
Few days later we are texting and I said didn't you say you were going to send me a selfie the other day? I then received this long reply on how she deserves to be loved and appreciated and not ogled. I said I wasn't looking for nudes figured a face shot like I sent her, but sorry I do love and appreciate you as I tell you this all the time, also when we are in bed together I do ogle at you.
The thing is she told me before with her old bf that one time she took a bunch of hard core pics of herself with an instant camera, met bf and his friend out and showed the pics to both of them then proceeded to go into the parking lot with them because bf asked if she wanted sex. So Im left thinking I can not even get a face shot of my wife, but the guy before me got all this, what is wrong with me? I am the guy she say she loves so much and take such good care of her (shes SAH) but some other guy got all the fun. It is a little upsetting on my end

You both sound heinously immature.