Both parents work, afterschool care closes at 6PM - what options?

[Anonymous]

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/330626.page

Look what I found on the Nanny forum....hhmmmmmmmm

[Anonymous]

I'm presuming your DH makes more money,,since you could live off of it before. You picked the wrong job for you to go back to, if he travels a lot. This is what we mean by priorities. You shouldn't have accepted a job with onsite evening bosses meetings. Start looking for something that works better, or fork out big time for a nanny who brings your kid home, feeds them, and supervises homework. Lurking in the library is fine once or twice a month, but not multiple times a week.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can't have it all: work FT an an inflexible job, kid at home at a reasonable hour, and no use of babysitters. If you truly can't fix your schedule to make aftercare pickup, you need a sitter. You are going to have to get over your nanny phobia because no worthwhile sitter will agree to your weird plan of staying in the library and not being allowed to go to your home.

You should rethink your schedule. So many parents work in DC, it seems very odd to me that you would not be able to work an 8-5 schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I see many parents seem to have the work flexibility we yearn. DH travels quite a bit, and I've been told to be prepared for long hours when a project gets big. I was a SAHM for 4 years, and only recently, found a job. It's been hard finding a job after being at home for some time, and now, things are very new to us. I'm wondering people are so quick to judge - we have no choice with our work hours, and going in early and leaving early is not an option, as bosses meetings are held in the evenings (and we can't say sorry, I need to pick my kid up - unless you want to be fired). Also, while i was a SAHM, I've seen too many nannies/babysitters leaving kids on their own, not having a care in the world, being rude to the kids, and with the most disgusting hygiene (of course, working parents don't know this). It's almost gone phobic to leave my kid with a stranger. Some of you mothers think you have the best nanny in the world, then you're lucky. Others are not so lucky (and the worse is that they don't even know it).

The reason why I suggested library is because DD loves the library, and she loves to be read to. She's one of those who'll devour 10 Dr Seuss books if you'll let her....

Thanks for the input everyone. We'll figure out a way somehow.

I'm a former SAHM who went back to work and while I was also paranoid about nannies after my own time in the parks, I don't see how going to the library would solve your problem. It's not going to fix any of the issues you are worried about. Also, as you're thinking about things, be honest with yourself about the source of your paranoias. If I'm honest, I think a lot of the issues I was so paranoid about were not such a big deal and by far the worst behavior towards kids I ever saw was from their own mothers.

Going to the library is not a confined area, not behind closed doors. At least it's something DD likes to do i.e. reading. I can't totally do away with babysitters/nannies, that's for sure, but at least the risk of being abused etc is mitigated.

PP here. I think you're being unrealistic here. Also, the kind of nanny you'd attract who is willing to do this sort of job is likely not to be a very good nanny and you'd be putting your daughter more at risk, not less at risk. I would not hire a nanny who agreed to work under those circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I see many parents seem to have the work flexibility we yearn. DH travels quite a bit, and I've been told to be prepared for long hours when a project gets big. I was a SAHM for 4 years, and only recently, found a job. It's been hard finding a job after being at home for some time, and now, things are very new to us. I'm wondering people are so quick to judge - we have no choice with our work hours, and going in early and leaving early is not an option, as bosses meetings are held in the evenings (and we can't say sorry, I need to pick my kid up - unless you want to be fired). Also, while i was a SAHM, I've seen too many nannies/babysitters leaving kids on their own, not having a care in the world, being rude to the kids, and with the most disgusting hygiene (of course, working parents don't know this). It's almost gone phobic to leave my kid with a stranger. Some of you mothers think you have the best nanny in the world, then you're lucky. Others are not so lucky (and the worse is that they don't even know it).

The reason why I suggested library is because DD loves the library, and she loves to be read to. She's one of those who'll devour 10 Dr Seuss books if you'll let her....

Thanks for the input everyone. We'll figure out a way somehow.

1 - You are not the first person ever to have this issue in your workplace. Talk to your boss and have your DH do the same. You need to adjust schedules. You might not need to be present at every meeting or you can arrange to join the meeting remotely. If there is absolutely no alternatives, you have still have choices. You leave when you have to and if you get fired, you collect unemployment until find your next job OR you start job hunting now and as soon as more flexible job comes along jump ship. Your DH may also need to start job hunting as well for a more flexible situation.

2 - You clearly have never visited an after care situation. It's glorified babysitting at it's best and the nannies/babysitters who leave their kids on their own are the kind of people staffing after care. The bonus of course is your child does their homework, the kid plays with their friends, and they are in confined space and usually there are some safety procedures in place.

3 - WTH? The library? No, no kid wants to hang out every single day in the library for hours on end with a babysitter. Nor is the library staff babysitters themselves (just in case that idea was going to come up)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I see many parents seem to have the work flexibility we yearn. DH travels quite a bit, and I've been told to be prepared for long hours when a project gets big. I was a SAHM for 4 years, and only recently, found a job. It's been hard finding a job after being at home for some time, and now, things are very new to us. I'm wondering people are so quick to judge - we have no choice with our work hours, and going in early and leaving early is not an option, as bosses meetings are held in the evenings (and we can't say sorry, I need to pick my kid up - unless you want to be fired). Also, while i was a SAHM, I've seen too many nannies/babysitters leaving kids on their own, not having a care in the world, being rude to the kids, and with the most disgusting hygiene (of course, working parents don't know this). It's almost gone phobic to leave my kid with a stranger. Some of you mothers think you have the best nanny in the world, then you're lucky. Others are not so lucky (and the worse is that they don't even know it).

The reason why I suggested library is because DD loves the library, and she loves to be read to. She's one of those who'll devour 10 Dr Seuss books if you'll let her....

Thanks for the input everyone. We'll figure out a way somehow.

I'm a former SAHM who went back to work and while I was also paranoid about nannies after my own time in the parks, I don't see how going to the library would solve your problem. It's not going to fix any of the issues you are worried about. Also, as you're thinking about things, be honest with yourself about the source of your paranoias. If I'm honest, I think a lot of the issues I was so paranoid about were not such a big deal and by far the worst behavior towards kids I ever saw was from their own mothers.

Going to the library is not a confined area, not behind closed doors. At least it's something DD likes to do i.e. reading. I can't totally do away with babysitters/nannies, that's for sure, but at least the risk of being abused etc is mitigated.

I don't understand when the public library became free childcare. Are people just allowed to drop off unchaperoned children there? At my local library, which I like very much, there definitely are some weirdos (i've seen the police twice there to arrest people by the computers). Your child could be approached in or outside of the library, or could just leave the library all together. How is the library a solution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/330626.page

Look what I found on the Nanny forum....hhmmmmmmmm

busted

[Anonymous]

Not all jobs allow you to stagger hours (my DH works a shift that ends at 7pm, he cannot alter his shift//I have a job with a lot of emergencies that emerge mid-day and meetings at that are scheduled at the last minute from 5-6pm). We have a nanny who works for us from 1-7. She picks our kids up from the bus, takes them home and then cooks dinner so that when I get home (between 6 and 7) I can eat with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you have a babysitter pick her up (at 6) and then take her to the library instead of home?

Because the library is closer then home to parents work, thus they don't have to pay nanny as much. It doesn't bother them that their child is hurt by the arrangement, money is money.

[Anonymous]

You can't have those work hours AND distrust babysitters. Something's got to give. End of story.

Most people are okay with the babysitters. Lots of nice ones out there. Your anxiety is unreasonable. But if you can't shake the anxiety, then one of you needs to change jobs.

[Anonymous]

You're going to have to find a sitter you trust. Use a service if you need to. Or get an au pair (there are programs for families who need fewer than 45 hours a week).
Your kid's day is way too long.
Find a caring, trustworthy sitter (they really do exist). And have that person take your child home to rest and recharge after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I see many parents seem to have the work flexibility we yearn. DH travels quite a bit, and I've been told to be prepared for long hours when a project gets big. I was a SAHM for 4 years, and only recently, found a job. It's been hard finding a job after being at home for some time, and now, things are very new to us. I'm wondering people are so quick to judge - we have no choice with our work hours, and going in early and leaving early is not an option, as bosses meetings are held in the evenings (and we can't say sorry, I need to pick my kid up - unless you want to be fired). Also, while i was a SAHM, I've seen too many nannies/babysitters leaving kids on their own, not having a care in the world, being rude to the kids, and with the most disgusting hygiene (of course, working parents don't know this). It's almost gone phobic to leave my kid with a stranger. Some of you mothers think you have the best nanny in the world, then you're lucky. Others are not so lucky (and the worse is that they don't even know it).

The reason why I suggested library is because DD loves the library, and she loves to be read to. She's one of those who'll devour 10 Dr Seuss books if you'll let her....

Thanks for the input everyone. We'll figure out a way somehow.

I'm a former SAHM who went back to work and while I was also paranoid about nannies after my own time in the parks, I don't see how going to the library would solve your problem. It's not going to fix any of the issues you are worried about. Also, as you're thinking about things, be honest with yourself about the source of your paranoias. If I'm honest, I think a lot of the issues I was so paranoid about were not such a big deal and by far the worst behavior towards kids I ever saw was from their own mothers.

Going to the library is not a confined area, not behind closed doors. At least it's something DD likes to do i.e. reading. I can't totally do away with babysitters/nannies, that's for sure, but at least the risk of being abused etc is mitigated.

I don't understand when the public library became free childcare. Are people just allowed to drop off unchaperoned children there? At my local library, which I like very much, there definitely are some weirdos (i've seen the police twice there to arrest people by the computers). Your child could be approached in or outside of the library, or could just leave the library all together. How is the library a solution?

In my brother's college town the library basically functions like an after care. Huge kids section, kids can play computer games, and they have a rec room
where they screen movies sometimes. It's pretty nice! I wouldn't leave a 1st grader there, but 8-9 year olds seem to have a great time.

[Anonymous]

What a long day for your child, OP. It's not like being a chimney sweep in Victorian England, but still. People hire nannies to pick up their children, help them with their homework and cook dinner. Can you do that?
If this is too expensive, can you stagger your hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I see many parents seem to have the work flexibility we yearn. DH travels quite a bit, and I've been told to be prepared for long hours when a project gets big. I was a SAHM for 4 years, and only recently, found a job. It's been hard finding a job after being at home for some time, and now, things are very new to us. I'm wondering people are so quick to judge - we have no choice with our work hours, and going in early and leaving early is not an option, as bosses meetings are held in the evenings (and we can't say sorry, I need to pick my kid up - unless you want to be fired). Also, while i was a SAHM, I've seen too many nannies/babysitters leaving kids on their own, not having a care in the world, being rude to the kids, and with the most disgusting hygiene (of course, working parents don't know this). It's almost gone phobic to leave my kid with a stranger. Some of you mothers think you have the best nanny in the world, then you're lucky. Others are not so lucky (and the worse is that they don't even know it).

The reason why I suggested library is because DD loves the library, and she loves to be read to. She's one of those who'll devour 10 Dr Seuss books if you'll let her....

Thanks for the input everyone. We'll figure out a way somehow.

I'm a former SAHM who went back to work and while I was also paranoid about nannies after my own time in the parks, I don't see how going to the library would solve your problem. It's not going to fix any of the issues you are worried about. Also, as you're thinking about things, be honest with yourself about the source of your paranoias. If I'm honest, I think a lot of the issues I was so paranoid about were not such a big deal and by far the worst behavior towards kids I ever saw was from their own mothers.

Going to the library is not a confined area, not behind closed doors. At least it's something DD likes to do i.e. reading. I can't totally do away with babysitters/nannies, that's for sure, but at least the risk of being abused etc is mitigated.

I disagree with this in so many ways I can't even count them. The library is a public place, often frequented by predators, the mentally ill and the homeless.

You're telling me you don't trust your nanny to be alone with your kid, but you do trust her to make sure your kid isn't led away by a stranger in a massive library with a million hiding places?

You, lady, are nuts.

[Anonymous]

OP, sorry to pile on but the PPs are right. Please don't force your kid to first go to school, then aftercare, and then the library four nights out of five. Doesn't she need to eat dinner at a reasonable hour? Invest the time and money and find a sitter whom you trust. Then let the sitter care for your child at home after school.