Both parents work, afterschool care closes at 6PM - what options?

[Anonymous]

Why the hate for nannies and babysitters? I have seen some amazing nannies over the years. At worst, i sometimes see some of the foreign nannies clustering with their own geographic group (like, there's a bunch of west african nannies at our park) and ignore the kids a bit while they are in their strollers. But honestly, i don't think that's the end of the world. I think kids should be reminded sometimes that they are not the center of the universe (and certainly, lots of sahms are guilty of the same thing). Your kids are a lot older, so this isn't ever a risk. In any event, if you seriously think all nannies are not to be trusted, i'd seek therapy or a different job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the hate for nannies and babysitters? I have seen some amazing nannies over the years. At worst, i sometimes see some of the foreign nannies clustering with their own geographic group (like, there's a bunch of west african nannies at our park) and ignore the kids a bit while they are in their strollers. But honestly, i don't think that's the end of the world. I think kids should be reminded sometimes that they are not the center of the universe (and certainly, lots of sahms are guilty of the same thing). Your kids are a lot older, so this isn't ever a risk. In any event, if you seriously think all nannies are not to be trusted, i'd seek therapy or a different job.

No one is hating on nannies or babysitters except for OP. But somehow she's ok with having her kid cared for others 12 hours+ a day. She's going to have a heck of a time finding a part time sitter who's willing to sit in a library with a tired kid for hours a day.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to be honest with your employer and just lay it out: say that in days your DH is out of town/busy, you need to leave the office at 5:15 to pick up your child. If he's unreasonable, then is the job really worth it? My children are in both before and after care, which makes for a long day. while I have the "luxury" of picking them up at 6:15, we have so much to do from then until bedtime. I can't imagine what tacking on another hour or two of care would do for us in the evening!

PPs gave some thoughtful suggestions. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, parent your child. Find a way to see them for more than one hour each day. Poor kid.

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of unclear on how late you need care. Do you just need until 6:30? There are a couple of private programs (YMCA/ Merit School of Arlington) that offer after school care until 6:30-- they pick up from elementary schools and bus to their facilities.
For a while Merit was offering a program until 8pm, but I'm not sure it is still an option.

[Anonymous]

There are a couple of different arguments going ton here.

The first is whether it is "okay" for a child to be in care for 12 hours a day. I happen to think it's fine, or at the very least unavoidable for a lot of families.

The other is whether it is fair to your child to deny them the chance to come home after school. This is where I think OP is dead wrong. Yes, many kids go to aftercare but get picked up by 6:30 at the absolute latest. OP is talking about making her kids stay out of the house until much later, every day, just because she's afraid she can't trust a fully verbal non special needs child with a nanny.

That's not okay. If you can't help but work that late, please be fair to your child and hire an au pair or nanny so that the child can do their homework, eat dinner, take a bath, and otherwise enjoy their life a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a couple of different arguments going ton here.

The first is whether it is "okay" for a child to be in care for 12 hours a day. I happen to think it's fine, or at the very least unavoidable for a lot of families.

The other is whether it is fair to your child to deny them the chance to come home after school. This is where I think OP is dead wrong. Yes, many kids go to aftercare but get picked up by 6:30 at the absolute latest. OP is talking about making her kids stay out of the house until much later, every day, just because she's afraid she can't trust a fully verbal non special needs child with a nanny.

That's not okay. If you can't help but work that late, please be fair to your child and hire an au pair or nanny so that the child can do their homework, eat dinner, take a bath, and otherwise enjoy their life a bit.

Actually, I don't think anyone was arguing about the 12 hours of care. It was the 12 hours out of the house, and the point the if the OP was so scared of nannies, then she needs to reconsider working. It wasn't that, in general, it was bad that a parent wasn't with the child for 12 hours, but that in this particular case, it was the parent who seemed to believe no one else is trustworthy, and so there is no other solution.

[Anonymous]

Curious how OP resolved the problem.

[Anonymous]

You and your husband have to stagger your schedules. One heads to work super early while the other handles the kid's drop off. One arrives home earlier in the evening, the other can work a little later. There shouldn't be a need for childcare after 6pm.

Signed,

A lawyer with a brutal commute from upper MoCo to K Street

[Anonymous]

Move into DC so you can get home earlier. We public school parents aren't so bad!
Hire a sitter/cook to pick up the kid as early as you can afford (assuming aftercare costs less per hour) and have them help with homework, ferry to sports games, etc. and then start dinner. Imagine a life where your kid has finished homework, and you & DH come home to a hot cooked meal.
Would be worth $100-200 a week to get someone for an hour or two?
I have a similar problem, I work in news and get out later than 6 - I do dropoff, DH does pickup. If only he were better about starting dinner. Whenever he travels for work or has a reception or something we get help from a fellow parent or hire a sitter with their own vehicle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I see many parents seem to have the work flexibility we yearn. DH travels quite a bit, and I've been told to be prepared for long hours when a project gets big. I was a SAHM for 4 years, and only recently, found a job. It's been hard finding a job after being at home for some time, and now, things are very new to us. I'm wondering people are so quick to judge - we have no choice with our work hours, and going in early and leaving early is not an option, as bosses meetings are held in the evenings (and we can't say sorry, I need to pick my kid up - unless you want to be fired). Also, while i was a SAHM, I've seen too many nannies/babysitters leaving kids on their own, not having a care in the world, being rude to the kids, and with the most disgusting hygiene (of course, working parents don't know this). It's almost gone phobic to leave my kid with a stranger. Some of you mothers think you have the best nanny in the world, then you're lucky. Others are not so lucky (and the worse is that they don't even know it).

The reason why I suggested library is because DD loves the library, and she loves to be read to. She's one of those who'll devour 10 Dr Seuss books if you'll let her....

Thanks for the input everyone. We'll figure out a way somehow.

Youre insane. I was a SAHM for 7 years and used many of the lovely nannies i met for babysitting of my own children. I think you have weird hang ups.

I completely agree. I definitely knew some nannies I didn't love as a SAHM but I met many many nannies who provided excellent care and became my friends. And when I get back to work I hired one of them.